Is gardening outdated

[BulbsAndLampsDiffer]

I live on an estate, on my road I am generally surrounded by couples/ single mums in their 30s and 40s. I am single mum try to maintain my garden both front and rear, paining fences, mowing the lawn and general weeding, so very cheap and easy. However when looking around I feel like the only one to be doing do with lots of weeds on driveways and un mown front gardens. I know it’s not a priority in modern busy life.
For convex some one said to me years ago it is impossible to have a tidy home, tidy child and tidy mum. And I do let myself slip in order to keep my home and child looking put together.
No judgment just curious if where I live is the norm.
YABU too busy to pull up weeds
YANBU pride in your garden

I have a small london garden - approx 5x6m - and it takes little more than a very enjoyable hour here and there through the year. I normally do a 4 hr spring stint getting compost on the plants and potting up annuals. I enjoy that time and it’s satiating seeing the birds, toads and little patch of beauty burst into life

There are so many other things to occupy time and having a garden garden can be hard work and expensive, unfortunately you can't always control the outcome and it can be discouraging. More single person households so everything on one adult and if you don't enjoy it or find it rewarding why not do something else with precious spare time. Also people are happier to not care what everyone else thinks about a few weeds on the front or embrace them. I love my garden, I've tried not to make it high maintenance but it's still a lot of work and some of it heavy work.

Kids naturally love gardening too if you get them involved early

I think the idea that gardening is about keeping your garden tidy and regulated is a bit outdated. There's much more of a focus on pollinator friendly planting, native planting and biodiversity these days.

Taking pride in your space is a bit different than enjoying getting your hands dirty and being involved with nature although both can fall under gardening. There are lots of completely paved areas or artificial grass patches that the owners take pride in. I have a relatively small garden that I love filling with plants but due to first a pregnancy and now a small baby, I haven't been able to maintain to the same standard I would have done previously. I hope my neighbours aren't judging me for that.

I don’t count weeding and mowing as “gardening” - more house maintenance like cleaning windows, or sweeping the door step. To me they’re things that don’t cost much, but make a big difference.

I’ve noticed in houses that are rented, the weeds are allowed to creep in more than if someone has purchased the property. There are probably a million different reasons for that. Gardening is still very much in fashion, but where as my grandparents would have grown veg, even in the front garden of their council house, it’s now more flowers and pretty plants.

My eyes are offended by messy gardens! Sounds ridiculous but it actually makes me want to go and tidy them. Maybe I should change career!

Life is busy and I don’t enjoy gardening!

I definitely don’t have time for things like weeding, I prefer my garden to look a bit wild and natural. I’m sure to others it looks messy but I don’t mind if some of the flowers bringing colour to my garden are dandelions, willowherb, valerian etc or if I have flowers coming up through the patio. My garden attracts lots of bees and butterflies which I enjoy more than I would if I kept the garden neat and tidy and cut things back as soon as they started to sprout.

It's coming back into fashion with my generation (millennials). I think because it's taken so long for us to even get anywhere near having a garden, it's something special when we finally do.

I’d agree with this, a weeds and plant out of place is a quote I often use. Someone once said to me, spend half an hour a week then 10 minutes a day and your average garden will be tidy, and it’s almost true, half hour to cut grass and tidy the patio then 10 minutes weeding/died heading a day

im lucky we moved 3 years ago into a lovely garden. The previous old lady had made the most beautiful cottage style garden. It was very neglected and took the 2nd summer we were here to sort, but know well it’s not a show garden but still lovely.

It’s a combination of too little time with modern life with all adults working and little spare money to go around, plus decline in social pressures to keep your garden looking nice in line with the neighbours. In the “old days” if you didn’t keep your windows clean or your garden neat and tidy you’d be the talk of the street.
I was work recently for several weeks for medical reasons and really got
into gardening for the first in ages. I found I really enjoyed it. Mainly because I actually had the time and energy to actually do it.

Agreed, my garden isn’t tidy but I have at least seven species of bees and about ten different species of butterfly and moth, not to mention all the little invertebrates that just get on with their life’s work without me noticing but provide food for the birds, aerate my soil and help keep the planet alive.

I love gardening and our back garden is an absolute flower haven, but... the tiny front garden is unmown, with weeds in the driveway. It probably does look a bit uncared for and messy.

All my spare time and energy goes into the flowers in the back garden and the pots in the front, weeding the driveway is just housework and I can't be arsed. It'll get done eventually.

I certainly have less time than my SAH mum did!

My nan was scrubbing her front step daily well into her 90s for fear of what the neighbours would say. Thank goodness we don't live like that anymore.

I can’t let my garden get wild and unkempt . I keep a space unmown for wildlife with grasses and wildflowers but the rest is neat and tidy .

I think modern lives are busier. Ours is low maintenance in that DH cuts the hedges a couple of times a year. We have bulbs that come up in spring and I've planted a couple of lavender plants where a bush once was. We also have a robot lawn mower that goes out three times a week and keeps the grass down. This year I've planted some wild seed in a tub on the front door step. Now they've flowered they don't look too weedy. Along with the lavender and a flowering bush the bees are living the dream this year.

Next door (semi detached) mow their lawn once a fortnight and I think although not full of flowers our gardens both look tidy and presentable as people turn into the road. Yes we've got weeds that I can't get on top of (how do the spring up daily?) but overall it doesn't look messy or unkempt.

We live in a village with a high older person population and there are a lot of beautiful front gardens. You tend to find those that aren't kept as nicely either have carers going in each day or are full time workers who just don't have the time.

Op if you have a great visable front garden maybe others can follow suit?
Inspire them?

Having said that my neighbours get a beautiful view from me I get depressing shabyness from them

I love gardening. What's outdated is thinking gardening means a neat flat lawn with no weeds. The gardening fashion these days is about letting wildflowers grow, encouraging nature and seeing what insects turn up. Petunias are out, dandelions are in. My garden looks like a nature reserve. I expect my neighbours think I take no pride in it but it's the main thing in my life I get joy from. Fashions change in all hobbies. Have a look through the Chelsea flower show photos.

I really struggle finding the time working FT, being a single parent, doing all the home stuff, school stuff, spending quality time with my DCs, admin etc and gardening.

If I could hire someone to do anything it would be the gardening.
I really struggle with it.
I do it purely so it doesn’t look awful.

I do always look half decent though and prioritise waking up a bit earlier to get myself ready.

I do think it doesn’t matter if my home is a tip if me and my DCs are looking presentable when we go out.

Obviously I try and find a balance by making things easier like cleaning as I go along, batch cooking and keeping on top of the garden etc so my home or garden never look awful but they never look perfect either.

It depends what you mean by letting yourself slip.

If you don’t wear make up etc then that’s fine but if you’re not brushing your hair or teeth etc then that’s a problem (and a sign of depression) and you need to prioritise yourself more.

I enjoy gardening but my garden is 5m long and 4 m wide and paved so it's quite easy to keep on top off. I love a potter pruning the roses and weeding as it take 10 mins.

I grew up on a large council estate. No one i knew as a child on the estate had nice gardens, in the 80s/90s everyone i knew was broke. My parents still have their house and their garden is nice, again small, but they cant really afford to spend money on it, it's just nice because they are retired and have the time. Front garden is a mess though because their house is on a corner which people cut across so they've given up with it (can't fence it in before anyone asks).

It depends what you mean by "gardening". If you mean planting hanging baskets and training clematis to climb up trellis work, then I guess young people no longer have the time with everyone working. If you mean not bothering to strim the elephant grass in their front garden or chop down the brambles encroaching on next door, then that's just laziness and no, it isn't outdated, anymore than putting your bins out.

I really don't notice weeds growing through our front drive. Or if I do, it's in a kind of incidental way, like oh look there's a weed. Rather than, I need to do something about that, the way my mother would have pounced on it instantly. Come to think of it, it's like how my dh doesn't notice mess or laundry etc inside the house. (Or outside)

I worked full time from the 1970s onwards. Automatic washing machines and dishwashers, freezers, microwaves and central heating have revolutionised and reduced housework in my lifetime, as has shopping online. Also most working households have at least one car now.

We may have had fewer leisure activities, although our DC had sports, dancing, guides, youth clubs. DH and I both worked, and we had a social life, but nearly everyone took some care of their gardens. I live in a suburban street now, with neighbours of all ages and the standard of the small front gardens is varied, from basic tidiness to one showpiece, not ours!

I agree with this.

There is nothing wrong with having longer lawns and letting your garden become more natural but unfortunately for some that means it’s untidy.

When people think of a tidy garden they often mean a flat lawn (sometimes fake grass), no weeds and immaculately trimmed bushes which is not good for wildlife.

I would rather have a garden that’s interesting, a bit of a character and has wildlife, rather than a soulless flat lawn and perfectly trimmed bushes.

I spend a lot of effort on my back garden but don’t bother as much at the front. I don’t spend much time looking at my house from the street but I spend hours in the back garden so that’s my priority. This means my front grass is quite weedy, plants are a bit neglected and there are some weeds in cracks on the driveway. I would like to have a fancy front garden like a few others on my street but front gardens are seen by others way more than the owner of the house. If I had kids then god knows how long the front grass would be!