To ask how to deal with frustrating team members at work?

[roamingcat]

Hi all,

I'm posting here for traffic. I am a high performer at work and generally have no issues with the work day to day - my one big issue is my ability to deal with other team mates/colleagues. I find it really challenging when other people don't pull their weight, or do things which are frustrating.

The frustration builds up and I find it hard to let go, which then ultimately only ends up hurting me or in some cases has resulted in a bit of an explosion towards the person (eeek, I'm not proud of it!). I would love to be able to let this type of thing go more easily but how do I do so? I just find it so hard when others aren't performing to the same level I am and I know this is a development area for me.

Yup I agree it's an area I need to improve upon - hence this thread! I'm looking for ways to not get as frustrated with team members/colleagues.

Without wishing to sound patronising, how old are you? I only ask as you sound very like I was in my 30s and I had an epiphany of sorts at about 42. I’m not paid to worry about what my colleagues are doing, I love my job so I do it to the best of my ability, if I’m asked for my opinion I will give it but basically I go to work, do my job and go home. It’s very freeing.

It's not your job to manage other people's performance unless they report in to you.

Focus on what you can control and do. Not on others.

I am a distinctly 'average' worker, do a good job with a fair few moments of brilliance.
Before my DC, I used to be very focused on my career and get frustrated if other people didn't pull their weight.
With age and experience, I have realized that there are way more important things in life. I have been made redundant twice when I was a high performer and, when it boils down to is, I am a number on a spreadsheet. At this stage in my life, I just don't have the bandwidth to give 100% to my job as other, more important aspects of my life, would suffer.

I work with a 'high performer' which actually means she does much more than she is paid for. Occasionally she'll ask if I have done something because she's done her bit. I will just tell her 'no' as the deadline isn't till next week. It's bloody annoying.

If you work in a big company, they will have courses to hone your behavioural and leadership skills. If you work for a small company, look online for material.

I just focus on myself. I work hard because I like to be busy and like the sense of achievement. I take on complex work because I like to further develop my practice and experience. I recognise people have different abilities and limitations, not everyone can work to the level I can and that's okay with me.

Don't get frustrated with them. They have their stuff they need to work on - their strenghts and weaknesses, and you have yours. Work on doing the best you can for your own job satisfaction.

I think maybe some pp are missing the point about how the OP’s team works as a whole - if one person isn’t pulling their weight it immediately affects the others and I expect that work has to be done regardless. It’s hard to ignore the fact that someone else is doing less and that means that you do more. I suppose OP could be less conscientious and let things crash and burn but then there will be questions about why they didn’t discuss the tasks and workload as a team?