My brother has a partner, he has been with for 6 months. When he first started going out with her I said to my mum, that I was sorry, but if she ever was invited to family events, I wouldn't be attending (I'll explain further), but wouldn't hold it against my mum for inviting her. My mum said she didn't want her at events either. Fast forward 6 months and my mum has decided she should invite her to her birthday. Now I have a dilemma, I'm very close to my mum, so want to be there, but I do not want to be around, nor my own family unit to be around my brother's partner.
Me and my partner have been together 10 years, married, kids and mortgage... Around 13 years ago, my partner (we will call him A), was going out with my brother's current partner (we will call her H). H lied to A about being pregnant and needing a divorce, she asked A for £80 to pay for the abortion, got a family member of As to drive her to the hospital, where she was in and out of the building within 15 mins to 'have the abortion'. H was still apart of mine and As friendship group and fast forward to around 8 years ago, at a party, H broke down crying and told A that the inborn baby would have been a boy.
Me and A believe there absolutely was no baby, but at the time he didn't realise it and it was very distressing for him.
Since this, we have suspected she has lied of about 3 more pregnancies that she apparently lost, but never had to have checkups to ensure entire lose and prevent infection, after losing them etc. Hence why we believed they're lies.
She has also cheated on multiple partners in the last, A included. She's just not someone I want my own family to be around.
AIBU to not go to my mum's 60th if she goes, even if me and mum are really close. Part of me feels like I'm being a spoilt brat, but part of me wants to hold my morals close.