Having doubts about my bf

[Mummblebee]

We've been together officially for 3 months but seeing each other for 6. We see each other once a week and contact during the rest of the week is minimal. There are good morning/ good night texts everyday. But in terms of phone contact we only speak for about 10 minutes a couple of times a week as he says he's not a phone person and never has been. I've also spent quite a lot of money on random gifts for him and he hasn't thought to reciprocate. He doesn't offer to pay for my taxi when I'm leaving his late and I'm spending quite a lot of money there too. I'm starting to feel a bit unappreciated and not special because of these reasons. I'm at the age where I want to settle down and have another baby in a couple of years. Are my concerns valid? Or am I being a bit unreasonable

yeah, seems like he is low effort and low energy. It gets boring pretty quickly.

Many different factors here, you’ve only been exclusive three months, which is a very short amount of time, he’s not a phone person - fair enough not everyone is, but you still speak a few times a week, text everyday and see each other once a week. To me that is plenty of contact for a three month relationship. You buy him expensive gifts that he didn’t ask for and are upset he’s doing not the same back. This sense of thought seeks very transactional, I don’t buy gifts just so I receive them back. He might not able to afford expensive presents. Why are you also expecting him to pay your taxi fare? Do you pay his? You say you want to settle down and have another child, have you talked about this? Does he want kids? How does he fit into your existing child’s life now? Of you’re not happy then walk away, but it seems without talking to him to find out where his head is at you could be in different paths.

Only seeing each other once a week is fine (especially as it seems you already have a child) and I wouldn’t expect him to pay for my taxi but if you’re paying the lion’s share of everything else and you’re feeling under appreciated, move on.

He doesn’t sound that interested to me.

Thank you. Maybe I am being slightly unreasonable expecting him to buy me gifts in return. I suppose he didn't ask me to spend money on him . It would be nice if he paid for my taxi because I make the effort to travel to him more then he does to me. Once in a while it would be nice if he offered. One of our early conversations we both said we would like one more child. We haven't met each others children yet. But from what I've seen he is a good father.

Thank you for your responses.

Throw this one back. He should be crazy about you and showing it. He isn't. So either he is lazy or not that into you. Either way you can do better.

Don’t spend a penny more on him!

He should be wooing but really sees you as a convenience who spends money on him.

Dump him!

Stop buying him things and insist the travelling is equal.

Thank you. I will do this. And see how we go

I agree with this. Why on earth are you buying him random gift? It sounds like you are love bombing him.

I dont see the need to buy random presents and yes i dont see why you can't pay for your own taxi

The travelling should be more balanced though

Here’s something I wish I’d learned sooner: It doesn’t matter whether someone’s behaviour would be acceptable to the rest of the world, if it makes you feel unloved nothing will change that. Effort will certainly not increase as a relationship goes on and in so many cases it’s the very things we should have paid attention to at the start that cause the end. It’s only been three months, I would move on. It’s fine to not be a phone person, it’s also fine to be someone who needs regular connection and enjoys conversation.