Stuck in the middle

[ChirpyHelper]

Hey, I’m a mum to 3 adult kids and grandma to two beautiful girls 💖 my issue is that I suffered horribly in my marriage due to physical and emotional abuse by my ex husband, the father of my kids. I have been in a relationship with a man I have known since school, he had been married before but no kids. We’ve been together for five years but he’s always complaining about when my kids visit or when I’m babysitting grandkids. I get so angry and frustrated because I love spending time with them. Some advice please 🙏

What is he complaining about? The fact that they exist or some unreasonable behaviour of theirs?

I friend has this. She has told her partner that this is the deal. He either puts up gracefully, takes himself out or moves out.

I’m a stepmum to adult kids and stepnan to their kids.
I would never moan about them visiting or my husband spending time with them.
Maybe you need to consider getting rid of the selfish bastard.

What's his actual complaint? You didn't say.

What you do really depends on what “complaining” means.

Does it mean he doesn’t enjoy it and makes other arrangements during that time.

Or does it mean he is trying to obstruct your time with your family?

Your kids and grandkids obviously come first and if he’s trying to make you choose between him and them, he loses. End of.

Your kids and grandkids come first and I would be telling him he has a choice, accept that you are a loving mother and grandparent and want to see your family, quit moaning about it and let you crack on, or he can leave

You and your kids and grandkids come as a package. He needs to accept that or jog on. Enjoy your time with your family and don't let him spoil it with his jealousy and whining.

It sounds like you’re swapped one really terrible man for a meh one. You have more than two choices; there are lots of good people out there.

I would get rid of him to be honest. He sounds like he is trying to isolate you from your family. Sounds like he is hoping that you will reduce contact for an easier life.

Who owns the house you live in? If it is you tell him to move out.

Honestly? I would leave someone who complained about my children and grandchildren. You don't need that in your life.

Let the rubbish out itself out

He doesn’t sound great. However what exactly are the complaints. Is it just them being there or is it mess loudness? Feels they are taking advantage of you?

Is he just having a general moan of wow look at all this washing us since they came over or more of a I hate them being here I don’t want them here ever.