How to stop worrying and put concerns into action

[ITSJUSTBRIDGET]

I'm 45 year old with 6 year old twins. I never used to worry about my own mortality until having children. Now it bloody terrifies me.

I'm overweight - like a size 16 but I'm only 5ft 1in. I seem to know so many people - who aren't much older than me - have cancer at the moment, and none of the outcomes are looking good.

The idea of dying and leaving my children at such a young age absolutely terrifies me. I've requested a health MOT with my GP today (I probably should have had one when I was 40 but my birthday was about 6 weeks after the first lockdown started)

At the moment I seem to be paralysed with fear - and I really don't know how to start to make changes to my life.

I have considered weight loss injections - however I went through 5 rounds of IVF to get my girls, I really do not want any other hormone/synthetic type of treatment.

I have tried Couch to 5k before - but I have a herniated disc and a compressed disc at the very bottom of my spine which does make running very tricky

Please give me your experience, idea's of how to get out of this cloud of anxiety and get motivated to change.

The only way I can reliably lose weight is intermittent fasting. First few days are hard but I find it the easiest as all I have to do is eat one meal a day so there's much less to think about and I keep myself busy which I suspect you always are with twins!

thank you for your reply - is there a particular fasting you follow?

Just try and stretch the time between meals as long as possible and gradually build that up. Only drink good quality clean water - you can get away with black coffee / herbal team but ideally only water.

for example - eat at 2pm and then not eat again until 2pm the next day, but maybe start with 2 meals per day, so lunch and dinner.

I once did 11 days of only water!

it’s very healing for your body, look up Autophagy.

It is easier said than done but I try to remind myself to live in the moment more and not cast into the future all the time. I’m aware I’ve wasted time and energy previously, including quite bad health anxiety when younger as my mum died young from cancer. I’m now able to rationalise that it may or may not happen to me and even if it did the outcome could be more positive. Either way I’m wasting my precious time ruminating on it.

If I get into rumination I try to say to myself it isn’t helping me, and find more positive distractions.

Hopefully you can be reassured by your MOT and try to start with some small changes, getting out in nature walking more or whatever you don’t have be running.

The other thing that has improved my anxiety I think is coming through the other side of menopause. Do you think you could be peri?

thank you for your reply - I'm so sorry to hear that your mum died young from cancer.

It's so true to live in the moment, I do try but there just seems to be so much bad news around me at the moment - it's quite tough.

Oh I think I'm definitely Peri - I'm actually on the mini pill (I know in my OP I said I didn't want synthetic hormones etc) but my periods and moods were absolutely killing me. I once saw a (female) GP who specialised in gynaecology, she said that there was really good evidence that women who have had IVF due to poor egg quality go through the menopause early.

I've resisted HRT so far but depending on what the health MOT says I may need to reconsider

I can’t believe you’re recommending fasting for days at a time to a 45 year old mother of 6 year old twins. This is madness.

I definitely won't be doing anything extreme - I don't want my girls to see me doing silly diets

Try the hrt. Anxiety is one of the lovely symptoms of peri.

I'd get yourself onto Mounjaro, OP. It's absolutely life changing.

lol I'm sure it is - but as I said in my OP I've injected myself thousands of times during IVF and I've no desire to put yet more chemicals in my body

Absolutely no judgement for anyone that decides that this is the route for them - so many peoples lives have been transformed by the jab it's just not for me xx

I think youre over complicating things tbh. You don't need an MOT from the GP to start making small healthier life style choices, you could literally start today.

You've ruled out WLI so that's easy, forget about that as an option.

Smaller portions, more fruit, veg & protein, less processed food, limit your refined carbs and cut out alcohol if you drink.

Forget the C25K, you cant outrun a bad diet and being overweight is mostly due to a calorie surplus.

It's great that you recognise that you want to lose the weight for your health, but don't put unnecessary barriers in the way, start where you are. Now. Today. 💐