Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How do you get the confidence to approach people you’re attracted to?

2 replies

Eatingallthebountys · 27/06/2025 07:25

Basically that.
Been single three years. I’ve only ever dated one person. Late thirties. Two kids.
I am lost at how you know who you approach, how to not come across as creepy or distant. I go out out about once a year so most of my interactions are in cafes, local bars and gigs.

I wouldn’t say I’m completely lacking in confidence as I have a good career and lots of interests. But I know I’m not one of God’s most beautiful creations. I’m a size 16, kind of broad, eccentric dress (which I’m not going to change) and odd facial features. Plus I feel old, I feel a lot older than many people I see in bars, gigs, restaurants etc.
I just can’t help feeling that I will get rejected or people automatically think I’m just some kind, interested mum type with a husband at home. All these men with holes in their ears and obscure band t shirts just look at me with kindness, not lust lol. And I do know the difference as I see how they look at my hot friends.
It all feels so depressing and my gut tells me I should probably look for older guys, the ones like my friends husbands who are all a bit boring looking, and probably still don’t fancy me.
I wish I could get it right. I’m a mum but I look like someone’s mum. I look like a visual representation of what the friend zone was invented for.
Plus I’m picky too as I’m not looking for a life partner, I’m not looking for someone to meet my kids, I’m not looking for someone who wants a lot of time or attention.
It just feels so depressing.
P.S. Never used the apps as I’m not photogenic

OP posts:
Eatingallthebountys · 27/06/2025 09:27

Is this hopeless?

OP posts:
IrritatableandHot · 27/06/2025 10:19

No, not at all! I think there is a lot to be said for getting to know people, enjoy the 'kindly' ones and see where it leads you.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread