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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To still feel so hurt

28 replies

Whiruntheworld · 26/06/2025 16:01

i ended my LTR relationship around 8 months ago, we have 2 wonderful children together and I can’t help but think I have failed. I had very good reasons for ending the relationship, he immediately got into a relationship with the woman I shouldn’t have been worried about as it was just his best friends sister. They seem to be having a great life, monthly holidays, nights out etc, i
am still here carrying on our old life and looking after the kids. It just doesn’t seem fair but would I swap lives with him…no? Why does it hurt so much?

OP posts:
Original poster
Whiruntheworld · 27/06/2025 08:11

Katewashere · 26/06/2025 22:03

I am that person who has been through it and come out the other side. My ex left me and moved in with a girlfriend within 2 weeks though he still insists it wasn’t an affair. At the time I was devastated. She was younger, no kids, beautiful and they seems to go away on trips and were always out for dinner- something we never did. Fast forward 9 months and they had finished- she was jealous, high maintenance and not actually very nice. She then made his life a misery for another 6 months. In the meantime I decided to do online dating which was terrifying and I was nervous about as I’d heard so much bad reports about it. I lucked out and met someone, we chatted for months before meeting and built up a friendship- as I was still recovering from the divorce. Anyway 3 years later we are together and happy. My ex has flitted about between girlfriends. Sometimes things do work out better- though it might not feel like it in the early days. Have faith op x

In hindsight was it the best thing that happened to you? How old was you when you split?

OP posts:
Original poster
Whiruntheworld · 27/06/2025 11:42

Maybe our relationship was dead in the water for a long time before I ended it, sorry for keep going on it just helps to put this stuff down.

OP posts:
Katewashere · 27/06/2025 22:01

Whiruntheworld · 27/06/2025 08:11

In hindsight was it the best thing that happened to you? How old was you when you split?

Show quote history

I was 39 - so almost 5 years ago now. No I wouldn’t say it was an easy journey. It was really painful and hard and at the time I couldn’t see a way back. But I do look back now and think I’m glad it ended because I didn’t want to waste anymore years trying to make someone happy who wasn’t. And now I realise I’m much more content and I’m free to chose the life that I want. You’ll get through it too OP x

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