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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

When to say 'I Love You'?

4 replies

bigkahunaburger · 26/06/2025 15:47

So I've been with my lovely boyfriend for 2 months. We met online, and were talking on and off of there for nearly a year if that's relevant. But we had our first date 2 months ago. We message multiple times daily and see each other a couple of times a week - sleepovers, days out, - lots of time together. We had a disagreement earlier in the week and I actually feared I would lose him, and I was so so upset just thinking about it. I think I have realised I am batshit crazy in love with him. The sex is amazing and I feel we know each other really well, and we are really comfortable with each other.

My question is would it be completely insane to tell him?? I feel like Im going to explode, but could this just make him run away? And maybe Im wrong, maybe its just lust (we do have amazing chemistry). When he first kissed me, I have never felt anything like it. I realise I sound ridiculous, but I don't know what to do with these feelings. Im feeling very overwhelmed, happy and scared all at the same time.

I'm 50 by the way, and was in an abusive marriage for 21 years. I think Im just pinching myself about how I can feel all the feels for such a lovely man. Since the divorce I have had a few short relationships with lovely men, but I ended them due to lack of chemistry. I was really beginning to worry that I am only attracted to men that treat me like garbage so this is quite a new and wonderful experience.

OP posts:
Augarden · 26/06/2025 16:05

Happy for you OP! Of course you can tell him. It's wonderful to love someone.

Endofyear · 26/06/2025 20:06

Honestly? Declaring your love after two months seems a bit soon & could scare him off! It's lovely that you're happy and in a good relationship and you definitely deserve to be after enduring 21 years of abuse. But you are really still getting to know each other and what you're feeling is infatuation and strong sexual attraction! Nothing wrong with that but recognise it for what it is. Take your time getting to know him properly and see where you are in a few months.

bigkahunaburger · 26/06/2025 21:24

I hear you. I am busting...I am seeing him tomorrow and I think I might just tell him Im falling in love with him. Thats not so bad right?
I feel batshit. But that is what love feels like. He is just perfect for me.

OP posts:
bigkahunaburger · 28/06/2025 14:10

Ok I settled with 'Im crazy about you, you make me really happy' and he said, 'well thats fortunate cos Im totally crazy about you too'. So thats good enough for now I think. hehe.

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