Does every parent feel this (physically)?

[Yebap]

I feel constantly exhausted. I have a 3 year old and recently took a sabbatical of 8 weeks. I’m in week two of the sabbatical and I feel even more exhausted than when I was working! I have been sleeping most days, trying to read or watch tv and falling asleep. Had various blood tests which are all normal. Ferritin came back at 52 which I know isn’t massively high but it’s not really low either. I’m taking iron supplements and vitamins.

i struggle to have the energy to cook for myself and so often a day passes and I will not have eaten much until dinner time. I can barely drag myself out of bed to exercise though I can manage a short run if I make myself.

i don’t understand where this issue is coming from. I’m slim and always have been, bmi is normal/lower end.

I can’t explain the feeling it’s just like I want to nap on and off constantly. I am so worried about returning to work as I am starting in a new office with a longer commute. Not sure how I will manage.

For background I did have a traumatic year or so when ds was born until he was around 1. I don’t know if I am still exhausted from that?! I can’t work it out and it’s massively bringing me down. Perhaps it’s normal?

Hey - no this is not my experience as a parent, I’m sorry to hear you’re having such a tough time. It does sound like you might need some medical support.

Are you a single parent or do you have a partner who could take on more of the home things, at least for a while?

I mean, I’m tired with a 5 and 1 year old but I’m not needing to sleep during the day or unable to function and I’m a single mother working full time and in the evenings. I think you need to keep pestering your GP until you get to the bottom of this!

I have a chronic health condition that causes fatigue and you sound more tired than I am. I would also be pestering the GP for more tests.

yanbu. It can be very frightening. I'd always had plenty of energy (single mum) and couldn't understand it.

Blood tests should pick up most things.

A mammogram found the source of my exhaustion, which while scary, at least I could have it dealt with.

Your GP should keep looking. I hope they work it out soon.

The constant exhaustion was one of my massive symptoms of coeliac disease, might be worth being tested to rule it out? Was like a combination of first trimester and newborn twins rolled up in to one massive exhausting package! I was diagnosed just before my DTs turned 4. Are you breathless doing normal things like hoovering?

I suggest getting your thyroid checked.

Low-level virus?

Nope. That is absolutely not normal for a parent so definitely keep pushing your GP for tests/answers.

If you’re not eating much could that be it and you just aren’t giving yourself enough fuel? If you’re not feeling hungry though that could be a symptom in itself. Hope you get some answers soon!

Not eating enough will do it. I would recommend getting a load of easy to eat foods in and trying to make sure you eat something 3x a day - a bowl of cereal and a pot noodle is better than nothing, add a piece of fruit and replace the pot noodle with a microwave meal and it's closer to a balanced diet.

I can "forget" to eat due to lack of appetite/motivation and it really tanks your energy.

It could also be burnout. Or sensory related - do you find you are sensitive to things like clothing textures, sound, light, extremes of temperature? (Obviously nobody is comfortable in a heatwave, but you know if you're more sensitive to it than other people IME).

Did you ever feel like this before DS was born/before the traumatic experience? Have you also looked into PTSD?

Get tested for Coeliac disease.
I was knackered, I used to fall asleep everywhere, even at work (mum of 2).
I didn't have any other symptoms like bloating, stomach cramps, constipation, etc. I was just TIRED 24/7.
Diet helped me massively, it took only 2 weeks completely gluten free to feel full of power!

No its not, i have 5 kids and I'm nowhere near this tired! I would be going back to the doctors. Do try and eat more as well some quick ideas: full fat greek yogurt and berries for breakfast, a quick stir fry for dinner with frozen veg just to try and keep your body nourished it wont hurt and could help.

It’s my experience but I am a lone parent to 4 I barely even get up in the mornings

Could easily be the trauma. You could perhaps have a read of The Body Keeps the Score by van der Kolk and see if that resonates. Or otherwise just consider whether (because of or in addition to) the trauma you have been in a chronic state of heightened stress as it can absolutely come out in fatigue / burnout. Lots of things around about that if you do some googling. Eg long covid much more prevalent in people who were chronically stressed before they got ill.

This is not to say don't keep asking the GP for any other relevant tests etc - def do that; you don't want to miss anything medical either.

This is how I feel when I burn out. It’s happened a couple of times in my life just endless sleeping. Maybe speak to the doctor. Take care

Doesn't sound normal IMHO

Not normal (assuming you are getting sleep and ,3 yr old sleeping through).

Are you pregnant?
Are you age 40+ - could be peri-menopause

Get to the doctors

I don't think that is normal. I have a 4 year old and a baby, not especially fit, and I feel a lot less exhausted than you describe. I would push your doctor for blood tests and anything else they can think of.

I have thyroid problems and can be exhausted at times, but not to the extent you are describing.

I’d definitely keep pushing for more tests.
If everything looks good physically, maybe you are depressed? I am sorry you had a rough time postpartum and hope you feel better soon x

I'm awaiting an ADHD assessment and I go through stages of being too exhausted to do anything more than the basics.

I left my job during COVID as I completely burnt out from trying to work and look after my then 2yo at the same time, and I don't think I've really recovered from it since tbh. I've worked part-time at a lower level since then, then DC2 arrived and DH has constantly been working away these past few years, leaving me doing everything at home. Although I'd like to give more to my job and get back to progressing in the same way I was pre-Covid, I just don't have it in me. The house is a complete tip, the kids are lovely but sap all my energy, I get zero time to do anything for me and, although I don't think I'm physically exhausted, I'm so mentally drained that it often manifests itself in that way.

Obviously I'm not saying you have ADHD but this is my experience.

I’m like this (bloods also normal), but I am on antidepressants and for me it’s part side effects, part depression and probably part peri at this stage.
I have sort of always been like this. I used to come home from school and get straight into bed.
If it’s something new for you, I’d keep pushing the GP to help find out what’s causing it.

This was my experience. Turns out I've got several chronic health conditions which have fatigue as a symptom. This was after years of "fine" bloodwork and missed low vitamin D.

Get back to to GP and see if they can investigate more? You might find keeping a record or activity, sleep and symptoms helps.

I really had to emphasise the impact to quality of life to get heard.

Chronic fatigue can be a sign of depression.
I’m depressed now - I’m able to get up (actually I find it hard to get more than four or give hours sleep) but I am totally unmotivated to do hardly anything. I just do the basics. A friend though, when she is depressed, sounded more like you. Young kids and can hardly function and sleeps for hours. Have you discussed this possibility? You don’t have to feel sad to be depressed.

You need to start eating - you can't expect to function properly when you're not fuelling your body.

This is my experience of sabbaticals and long holidays! I crash and normally get sick because the adrenaline is gone and I've got a while year off sleep to catch up on. Hopefully you'll be better in a few days.