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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my DF wins the prize for Audaciousness?

119 replies

80sStMickey · 26/06/2025 12:34

In February we bought tickets to a show by a performer we'd seen a few times before.

It's in a nice city about 80 miles from home. We'd actually gone a tad wild and splurged on a whole bottle of wine and snacks when we'd bought the tickets. They were to be delivered to our seat during the interval. A nice touch we thought

A couple of weeks later DH said he'd managed to secure tickets to a Very Important Sporting Final. He hadn't clicked it was in the same day as the show.

So we gave a close friend the show tickets as we thought she'd be interested in the performance.

We cancelled the hotel and rebooked to see the performance in another city and made a nice break from it all. He wasn't as great as the previous times we'd seen him. Ho hum.

The weekend in question was a fortnight ago and a good time was had by all. She thanked me both at the time of the tickets being offered and again after the show.

DF left her jacket under the chair at the theatre. She filled out an online form the next day to enquire about it.

Yesterday DF contacted me to say it looks like the jacket is sadly lost and is having to give up on it.

She feels that it was left only because she was tipsy on the wine that came with the tickets.

She now feels that I ought to reimburse her for the jacket as she wouldn't normally drink that much alcohol in one go.

It's a vintage jacket and she said she wasn't really sure how much she needed to replace it.

I was a teeny bit gobsmacked really. Do I have replied that it was entirely her responsibility to decide how much free wine to drink and to take care of her possessions. And I wouldn't be reimbursing for anything!

She's replied saying that she's going to look on Vinted Ebay and other places to see if she can find similar and she'd let me know then if she finds a replacement.

She wasn't exactly clear that she'd ask for the money if she did find a jacket, but equally didn't say she wouldn't ask.

Aibu to think she's a giant piss taker?

OP posts:
NicolaCasanova · 26/06/2025 12:51

Next CF, sorry, DF will be telling you it’s lucky her Rolex didn’t slip off into the snack dish so you’re got off lightly with just the jacket.

IAmTheLogLady · 26/06/2025 12:51

I believe this is true, my ex sister in law would have done something like this.
She would have meant it too.
I can actually hear her whiney tone, " but I wouldn't have been drunk if you didn't buy me wine"
I so glad she's my ex sil.

shortsharp · 26/06/2025 12:52

no this can’t be true 😂😂😂😂

you need to find a new friend.

Cuppa2sugars · 26/06/2025 12:54

I could tell you a similar story involving my car window I had to smash in order to get a friend to hospital appointment which she insisted wasn’t worth a smashed window for ! I would never ask her to pay for a replacement window, it would’ve cost me her friendship !

tell her you’re not paying for the jacket, it’s entirely her fault. You didn’t leave your possessions behind did you.

Codlingmoths · 26/06/2025 12:56

Is she generally a nice person? Have them to dinner. Serve wine. Jump up before she drinks any and say oh wait I need you to sign a waiver, here I’ve written one out, it just a little one, it says despite not being charged for the wine, it is still optional,dh and I are not waterboarding it down your neck, if you drink any that is 10,000% your choice, and any consequences of your drinking it are also 10,000% on you, we take no responsibility at all, but it’s our house and we will expect you to pay for breakages and damage. Here you are, sign please!

BeMoreAmandaland · 26/06/2025 12:57

Did she also recently get married and try to steal a friend's Dyson Airwrap?

fivefoottwowitheyesofblue · 26/06/2025 12:58

80sStMickey · 26/06/2025 12:35

Lawdy I'm a humongous waffler aren't I?

I'm sure that could've been condensed.

I don't get out much.

Please do not apologise! I loved every word!
CF of the highest order.

Not sure I could ever get past that tbh.

I think you have 2 options:
1 - if she's a friend you wouldn't miss
Laugh in her face and say 'you're taking the piss aren't you?' Pull back from any other contact. Fucking tight arse.

2 - if it's a friend you value
Say 'please don't tell me you are actually asking me to reimburse you for this jacket you loon. This is the sort of thing you read about on Reddit. We'll be laughing about this in a few months'

Cherrysoup · 26/06/2025 12:59

Did she pay you for the tickets? She is taking the piss, big time. Obviously you won't be paying because she can't act like a responsible adult!

BeMoreAmandaland · 26/06/2025 12:59

Laugh in response - it's the only way and if she digs in then invite her to take you to the small claims court

Unbelievable nerve!

ARichtGoodDram · 26/06/2025 13:00

I cannot believe multiple people like this exist.

When I was younger I genuinely thought my eldest brother was unique in his CF-ery, but there are more!

ISpyNoPlumPie · 26/06/2025 13:04

Also struggling to believe people like this exist. And if they do, I certainly wouldn’t be friends with them. You know, you don’t have to be friends with every arsehole that crosses your path.

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 26/06/2025 13:05

Presumably she knew that you had paid a lot of money for the tickets and the wine, and weren't asking her for any money?

A decent friend would have had a brief word with the people serving and asked if she could take the full paid-for bottle away with her for you and said to you later: "Thanks very much for the ticket(s) - I really enjoyed the show; so sorry you had to miss out going then, but at least here's your lovely bottle of wine for you both to enjoy on a special occasion".

Did she go alone or with somebody else? If alone, if she isn't old enough to know what the obvious adverse effects will be of one person drinking a whole bottle of wine in one go, she isn't old enough to drink any of it yet.

xILikeJamx · 26/06/2025 13:05

For a good while I was thinking this was about your Dear Father which made it even more special!!

I would be sorely tempted to try as hard as I could to buy an identical jacket then send her a selfie asking her if she likes your new jacket.

LemondrizzleShark · 26/06/2025 13:08

Does she really think two concert tickets, wine and snacks cost less than some secondhand jacket she stores on the floor anyway?

It obviously wasn’t vintage Chanel or anything or she wouldn’t have chucked it under her seat at a concert venue.

Likely she owes you money, if she wants to take that route.

Delphiniumandlupins · 26/06/2025 13:13

You gave her two tickets for the event? Plus the crisps and wine? That was very kind of you. I think holding her down and forcing her to drink the wine was unreasonable though.

Apfelkuchen · 26/06/2025 13:17

Send her an invoice for the tickets, wine and snacks.
When she acts outraged, just shrug 🤷‍♀️
She may see the CF error of her ways.

Bamboozledbylife · 26/06/2025 13:18

Are you serious?! Rhetorical question of course. What a cheeky f*cker.
Please post your reply in this thread.
I think my reply would be along the lines of
"I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand. I gave you free tickets and YOU drank the wine I bought and YOU lost your jacket and you want me to pay for it? Is that right? Because that makes no sense to me. If you'd like I can invoice you for the show tickets and wine/snacks?"

usedtobeaylis · 26/06/2025 13:20

Honestly top marks for providing so much info and detail 😆

She's taking the piss.

Monkeysymbols · 26/06/2025 13:23

She's bonkers. This is brilliant

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 26/06/2025 13:25

LemondrizzleShark · 26/06/2025 13:08

Does she really think two concert tickets, wine and snacks cost less than some secondhand jacket she stores on the floor anyway?

It obviously wasn’t vintage Chanel or anything or she wouldn’t have chucked it under her seat at a concert venue.

Likely she owes you money, if she wants to take that route.

It was probably Primark, George or charity shop - but it suddenly started identifying as very high end posh designer as soon as the hope of a freebie luxury coat was perceived as maybe being on the horizon!

honeylulu · 26/06/2025 13:27

Yes there are people like this. I have had the misfortune of encountering some of them.

Audacious yes. See also entitled, self absorbed, self centred, delusions of grandeur etc.

Someone I knew at uni was like that. I swear if she was given the sun and the moon she would pull a disappointed face and ask why she couldn't have the stars as well.

Once a few of us were going to a gig in another town. Being students only one had a car and kindly offered to drive if we split the petrol money, which we did. Got there and the gig had been cancelled last minute. She asked driver for her £4 fuel contribution back. He said no, as the fuel had already been used and he had to take us all back again too. She went on and on about how she would never have come had she known (er well neither would any of us) and it wasn't fair. In the end he gave her the money to make her shut her trap. We all had a go at her and she pouted and said we were "mugs". I expect she's still princessing her way through life!

MounjaroMounjaro · 26/06/2025 13:29

@honeylulu The driver should have given her £2 back and told her to find her own way home.

DiscoBob · 26/06/2025 13:33

Absolutely bonkers. I'd laugh at her.

Tell her she's not a child and frankly it's appalling to ask such things when you so kindly and graciously shared your tickets and wine with her.

If she doesn't apologise I'd not want to speak to her again.

arcticpandas · 26/06/2025 13:34

🤣 i was thinking the same thing

Eddielizzard · 26/06/2025 13:38

She's a twit