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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Men are so odd

7 replies

Saoirse18 · 25/06/2025 20:23

For months, probably since January this year a man I have always been friendly with started making very flirtatious comments to me. Really obvious, affectionate and sometimes sexually charged comments. He even put his arm around me a couple of times. I like him back so I read the signals (wasn’t hard to I read at all) and when we were alone together I kissed him - a quick kiss, not long and drawn out. Just to show I cared for him romantically and would be interested in taking things further.

He was lovely, we had a cuddle, we chatted, no awkward behaviour at all. But since then…..you guessed it………nothing. Total withdrawal. Maybe he was in shock? Maybe he didn’t expect me to lay my cards in the table? But literally, no sign of him for about a week and a half. He clearly had a crush and was interested! What’s going on? It’s not like I made myself vulnerable without obvious reason! I am not the type of person to do that unless I am 99.9% sure it’s “safe” to do so.

What is going on in the male mind? I have no idea what he’s up to. It feels like obvious rejection but that’s so weird given the clear signals for months beforehand. Anyone else experienced similar? I find it very strange and slightly childish TBH

OP posts:
mrandmrsrobinson · 25/06/2025 20:41

Perhaps he thinks it's just flirty banter?

Icanbuymyselfflowers86 · 25/06/2025 20:44

In what context do you know this man?

He could be dating someone else that he prefers or have a partner already and thinks it went to far.

DontTouchRoach · 26/06/2025 15:18

He wasn’t as interested as you thought.

Flamingoknees · 26/06/2025 15:26

He was flirting, but not interested in taking it any further. Just move on OP. Maybe he isn't single. Maybe he's just naturally flirty and tactile. Pointless worrying about it.

MoFadaCromulent · 26/06/2025 15:30

Yeah we're awesome.

Sorry what was the question?

Dweetfidilove · 26/06/2025 15:38

In my experience, men that want you never leave you to infer. They are very forward.
Flirting for months while not advancing? He didn't want it to go beyond the flirting.

ChrisTheBastard · 26/06/2025 15:42

mrandmrsrobinson · 25/06/2025 20:41

Perhaps he thinks it's just flirty banter?

This is my guess. He may not have realised that you had feelings for him, so when the kiss happened he may have realised that things had progressed further than he intended. He really should communicate this tbh.

This begs the question as to why he was like that with you, which I cannot answer. flirting isnt usually an accident and anyone with an IQ north of a cactus ought to realise that if you flirt, and it's returned, that sets up certain assumptions.

Either that or he's married, liked the idea of a flung / affair and then shit himself when he realised he'd gone down that route.

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