What would you do?

[AquarianGirl]

I keep getting a lost screen so I will write it for the third time briefly.
Yesterday while driving my partner out his hand(s) round my neck punched the dashboard and said he would do me when we got in. He has brain injury and mobility issues from being attacked with a brick, comatose and operated upon.
We had started rowing about our dog. I couldn't believe it when he carried on arguing when I was driving and said as much. Out of extreme frustration anger and fear I was verbally vile to him and this was the result.
I went to a women's domestic abuse centre. Lady said I could get a non molestation order whereby he can only contact me about the dog either for three six or twelve months.
Will he stick to it? Will he give the dog away like he said he would and never talk to me again?
I don't know what to do but I'm not coping as things are. I'm always making adjustments. Next it will be cancelling our planned holiday in September and never driving him again.
What would you do? I don't think AIBU is the correct topic but I just want quick feedback. Thank you.

The dog?? I would give him the dog and tell him to never darken my doorway again. Maybe move.

You cannot leave your dog with him. He may give it away (to God knows who) or be violent towards the poor thing. Contact the police and tell them about his threats of violence and ask them to come to the house because you want him to leave. Then get the locks changed immediately.

Brain injuries can really change people's personalities, and I feel sorry for your partner, but I think you need to end the relationship and keep the dog.

Get that non-mol.

End the relationship. Keep the dog.

Your partner is a danger to you, the dog and everyone around him.

Nobody can say whether he will or won’t stick to the non-molestation order, but the whole point of the order is that if he breaches it, he can be arrested and charged with a criminal offence. Without a non-molestation order, he can contact you as much as he likes without any consequences.

We don't live together. The police won't do anything for the dog. If I took her we would be living in my car and even that wouldn't work because she barks NON STOP with me. She tries to dominate. I even contacted the RSPCA when he went out for most of the day leaving his previous dog with water and food but not walking it and they filed it as a malicious complaint.

I'm not very tech logical. This was in response to the person who said don't leave the dog with him

Even if I move I don't see how I can take the dog with me because no rooms or flats I ever find and can afford
accept pets.
Thanks to everyone who has replied.

Thank you

Do you have help from Headway or similar? I understand it is not a usual situation due to the acquired head injury but you both need professional help to split up and stay apart.

Would it better if the dog was rehomed?

I used to work for Women’s Aid and we had a list of people that fostered animals whilst their owner was getting support/accommodation etc sorted.

You could maybe contact them about this and also about what they do for you.

I looked into them years ago. I used to get their emails and I read their advice and info. My partner is in denial to be honest. He won't accept help like that. But thanks. Perhaps I'll look at them again.

I think you need to stop worrying about the dog and get yourself sorted out. The dog will likely be fine whether it stays with your partner or not. Yes the dog should be walked but this is quite a minor worry compared to the likelihood of you being seriously assaulted. You need to take his threats to you seriously and create separation urgently.

Maybe it would. I don't know. Generally rescues are full or have very long waiting lists. There is maybe one woman I could ask.

Thank you. It's only for people who are offered a refuge space. I tried but they said because I have separate flat to abuser I don't qualify.

Thank you. I will.

Leave the dog and save yourself. Whilst you are clearly a very caring person, your compassion is focused on the wrong area, it needs to be about you.

https://refuge.org.uk/what-about-pets/

You need to break it off as soon as possible because men who choke you tend to be homicidal.

Is it his dog? If so, you need to end the relationship and stay away from him - phone RSPCA about the dog if you're worried. But you can't put the dog's safety above your own. End the relationship and look into a non-molestation order if he won't stay away.