To think one meal of eating unhealthily is okay for a child?

[Tractorandtrailer]

My mother is acting like dd is going to pile on the weight by eating one meal that isn’t healthy.

My mother has always had issues around food (both hers and mine growing up). I do not want this to pass onto dc as it still has a huge affect on me snd my relationship with food as an adult.

Dd is 3 and eats well. Her favourite foods are cucumber and pepper! She is a healthy weight and there isn’t any fat on her. She recently had her height and weight measured for her red book which I thought would reassure my mum.

Today dd wanted chocolate spread on toast for lunch. She doesn’t usually have this but I let her. She had it with strawberries on top. I want her to have a healthy relationship with all food.

we are at my mum’s and she is now saying that dd will be WAY over her ‘calories’ for the day and what will I cut her down on later to make sure she doesn’t over eat 🤨.

Dd is on the to go all the time and very active so I’m not worried in the slightest.

We are with my mum daily due to caring responsibilities. How do I shield my dd from my mum’s issues with food and get my mum to back off?

I think you know it wasn't 'for your health'. It's lucky she hasn't given you an eating disorder. I would tell her either she doesn't discuss your DDs diet or she doesn't see her - I realise that may seem extreme to you but what she is doing is so damaging and DD will soon understand it, if she doesn't already.

We are with my mum daily due to caring responsibilities. How do I shield my dd from my mum’s issues with food and get my mum to back off?

You need to be really, really straight with her. Tell her in no uncertain terms that her totally dysfunctional attitude to food had a detrimental effect on both her and on you and you are damn well not going to let it be passed on to your DD. Emphasize that your primary responsibility is to your DD and if your DM cannot grasp this and behave appropriately then you will just have to limit contact. If this means walking away from these other care responsibilities then so be it.

My dc always use to have chips (from chip shop) after their swimming lesson - quick and easy. One is now 6’ 5” and the other 6’3 and both still okay sport regularly.

Thanks all. It’s helpful to read your comments about it all. Makes me feel like I’m not doing the wrong thing!