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Original poster

Is it common that lots of boys dry hump at secondary school?

40 replies

Logicalcat · 25/06/2025 09:16

My 12 year old has frequently mentioned various boys in y7 dry humping each other, tables, chairs for a laugh. He hates it. My y10 said loads of boys in her school frequently engaged in this and promptly showed me a WhatsApp of boys jumping on sleeping boys ( on a school trip) and dry humping on them ‘for a laugh’. All very common and seemingly no big deal. It all looks ‘rough and tumble’ and boys being silly but I don’t remember dry humping being a thing in the 90s. Is this really a ‘thing’? If it happened outside school it would potentially be a very serious matter.

OP posts:
Teenybub · 25/06/2025 10:56

I’ve genuinely not seen it at the school I teach in, I’ve been here 12 years. It could just be that we have a different culture but I can’t think of a single time I’ve seen it. My school is pretty chaotic in terms of behaviour so I would have expected to have seen it if it happened.

PlipPlapPlop · 25/06/2025 10:59

I don’t recall the boys ever doing it when the teacher was in the room or outside when it was occurring tbh. In front of the lunchtime supervisors maybe.

Original poster
Logicalcat · 25/06/2025 11:13

When I first heard of it I thought it had sexual undertones and I felt uncomfortable Until my y10 said it was incredibly common and I thought maybe I was overreacting. If they did this outside their school environment I can imagine them getting into an awful lot of trouble and not realising why. Not to mention the potential effect on the poor recipient

OP posts:
KarmenPQZ · 25/06/2025 11:15

It’s grim and you and your kids should know full well it’s not normal or acceptable behaviour.
what is it if not sexual?

Twisterpiggy · 25/06/2025 11:22

Logicalcat · 25/06/2025 11:13

When I first heard of it I thought it had sexual undertones and I felt uncomfortable Until my y10 said it was incredibly common and I thought maybe I was overreacting. If they did this outside their school environment I can imagine them getting into an awful lot of trouble and not realising why. Not to mention the potential effect on the poor recipient

“My y10 said loads of boys in her school frequently engaged in this and promptly showed me a WhatsApp of boys jumping on sleeping boys ( on a school trip) and dry humping on them ‘for a laugh’. All very common and seemingly no big deal.”

You need to be seriously explaining to your teenager that this sexual assault. It’s not “no big deal”, it’s not funny, and being common does not at all make it right.

Consider how you would feel about your daughter being jumped on in her sleep by a group of boys and them humping her?

It’s disgusting and it’s no less inappropriate because the victim is male or a friend.

Brushing this off teaches boys that sexual violence is okay and it’s light hearted.

indoorplantqueen · 25/06/2025 11:23

Yes it’s done and to my mind has been done since I was a teen.

TerroristToddler · 25/06/2025 11:37

Yeah actually.... totally forgot this happened. I went to secondary school in 00's and a lot of the boys (particularly the 'cool' kids, joker boys, sports boys) would hump each other or even just inanimate objects as a laugh.

Really weird to think this was totally commonplace. I didn't even bat an eyelid at the time. But imagine if that happened at work!

LoveWine123 · 25/06/2025 11:43

I'd be more worried when they stop the "dry" part...

macaronisaidshetlandpony · 25/06/2025 11:46

It’s not ok. My DD many years ago came and told me that in her Y7 class that day a boy was doing this with a girl. I reported this anonymously to the DSL at the time (DD didn’t know although I had explained my views on it to her). It was fortunately taken very seriously by the school.

it’s disgusting behaviour and regardless of who it’s aimed at should not be brushed off as fun.

Blueskies3 · 25/06/2025 11:47

This is sexual assault

UnctuousUnicorns · 25/06/2025 11:53

KarmenPQZ · 25/06/2025 11:15

It’s grim and you and your kids should know full well it’s not normal or acceptable behaviour.
what is it if not sexual?

Edited

Dominance, I'd guess. I'm bigger and stronger than you; I'm the boss.

VickyEadieofThigh · 25/06/2025 11:55

Drew79 · 25/06/2025 10:00

It shouldn't be , it's weird, schools should put a stop to it, who would want to be on the receiving end of that??

In the 90's it would be wresting or rough and tumble, which is only okay if all parties want to be involved in it.

I taught in 2 all boys schools in the 80s and continued teaching in mixed schools until the late 2010s. I never saw this happen once but would've stopped it if I had.

Ihateslugs · 25/06/2025 11:55

I worked in inner city “ challenging” schools for over 20 years and was not aware that this was a problem! For over 10 years I was the Designated Teacher for Child Protection and Assistant Head so I’m sure I would have been involved. I do recall the boys play fighting or wresting although it was always stopped by teachers who were there but I do not think this was dry humping, just rough play.

i retired 8 years ago so maybe it’s become more common since then?

ARichtGoodDram · 25/06/2025 12:01

This is a thing that's weirdly school specific I've found. I was peripatetic and in some schools I was in it was a common occurrence and in others it never happened at all.

No idea why

MigGril · 25/06/2025 12:05

I've work in a couple of different schools and not come across this (I think it did happen occasionally when I was at school). I would definitely consider this unacceptable behaviour now and stop the child or report it if it happened now.

Maybe not so much of an issue with objects but certainly unacceptable between students.

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