To feel fed up with the "sleep when the baby sleeps" advice?

[MyBusyTurtle]

FTM here. My baby slept 6+ hrs at night early on, but rarely napped during the day. Every time another parent asked how I was and if DC sleeps I mentioned it and said it was challenging. Then I'd get a reply somewhere along the lines of “oh wow, well mine still don't sleep through the night" or “ugh I hate you” (half-joking, but still).
Meanwhile, the lack of naps mean I'm struggling to eat and do anything, or even rest — because surprise, I don't just start immediately sleeping when he has his night sleep!
But their advice always? “Sleep when the baby sleeps”… except I just told them he doesn't sleep...
Now at 4 months, he still doesn’t nap unless rocked for an hour+ and now wakes through the night. He also started hating being in the bouncer or baby carrier and just wants to be attached at the hip. Bet they’d be thrilled to hear that 🙃

Anyway. Mostly just wanted to vent, I know it's a grass is greener sort of situation. But if anyone has tips on how to get my 4 month old to nap during the day please share 🫣 I sing, play, rock, walk, read, try to do wake windows and it's just a massive battle each time that I usually lose

Love this - clearly never had a baby who would scream if the mum attempted any
of these things 😁 Some people just have Velcro babies!

She literally says that it's ok if the baby cries a bit, you can look after yourself.

My baby was fairly velcro, but I still found the newborn stage the easiest stage because he was fairly immobile when put down, even if he did fuss sometimes (bouncer with fairy lights was the favoured solution).

But I would also eat whilst he fed on his feeding pillow, or have something handheld like a wrap whilst he was in his sling.

I genuinely think that people slagging off "sleep when the baby sleeps" etc are doing a disservice to the women for whom it is possible.

Not for everyone, but it is a learnable skill IMO. Took me a few goes to get it, but we both slept better once I did.

Yes I used to go to bed at 8pm once baby was asleep and DH would stay up and do 1st night feed 11pm and I would be awake for 2nd in early hours. So I did essentially sleep when baby slept.
Our baby did nap during day though- & I
also learned to sleep during those naps. Everything else had to wait. For me sleep was more important.
I still take afternoon nap now actually 6 years later 😅

Tiny babies = exhaustion and getting unsolicited advice for years.

You have my sympathy. 💐

The game changer for me was when I stopped saving all my chores/showerr/eating for his nap time. It was more stressful to get things done with him around but it meant when he did eventually go down I had a genuine 30 minute slot to myself. Mostly watched Call the Midwife.

Mine also took an hour to bounce to get him to sleep like 30 minutes.

We sleep trained at 5 months. Worked like a dream. Do it early, the older they are the harder it is (teething, sickness, separation anxiety). You don't need to do full crying out and I still breastfed on demand. We had a total of 25 minutes of crying so it doesn't have to be too bad. Look up some gentler sleep training methods.

So let them scream for a bit. Not for hours, but if it takes you hours to go to the toilet or take a shower, there is something wrong with you.

Again - there’s a difference between crying and screaming. Some babies go straight to screaming - even being sick from it - if they are put down - plenty of threads on here about it. It’s one of those where you can’t really understand unless you’ve been there. No chance of having a shower!

Don't try to fit into other people's routines.