to be p****d of at another mum?

[pinkyp]

Hi today another mother at baby group asked me where i worked, i said i'm a stay at home mum to which she replied:
"oh i thought about that but i'd rather work so i can buy my son what he likes so he can have the best childhood".
Excuse me buti didnt realise more money equalled happier kids. I've nothing against people that work at all but this really annoyed me.
AIBU?

Of course YANBU. Silly shallow person. Don't let it get to you.

I would suspect she really wants to be a SAHM, and is justifying it iyswim.

But YANBU

Loads of good reasons to go out to work but this aint one of them.
BTW, what's she doing at baby group if she's a working parent?? One of the advantages of working is avoiding groups like this and the nonsense that seems to go with them!

I have a neice who has the same attitude. I don't think they realise it sounds insulting.

YANBU.
Stupid, defensive thing for her to have said.

Clearly madly jealous of you. Ignore silly cow.

every paper i've ever read about child development has stated that children remember time spent with their parents doing fun stuff together made them happiest, far more than material goods alone. Kids need caring and interactive parents, not a toy store. You might want to fire that back at her next week. .

(and the fun stuff needn't be expensive either. Playing at the park, beach, doing stuff at home, enjoying a hobby or game together, even just reading a story, all important to kids of any age.)

oh, and giving kids a sense of the value of money and not letting them get absolutely everything they want without question is also important. Or they grow up expecting the world to give them everything and then get a bit of a shock when reality hits...

yanbu. ignore the stupid woman!

she was on a few days break from work. I've been questioning "should i be working?" ever since, she's off on holiday soon god knows where. i dont want to work, it is a struggle financially but we do manage. i feel so lazy now, i only have 1 baby.

what a stupid thing to say! Never heard that one as an argument but it is ridiculous

you're not lazy

I go to work for a rest from the baby and I'm sure I'm not the only one. I admire anyone who can be a SAHM because I'm almost sure I haven't got the patience or imagination to do it.

Silly, stupid, rude woman.

On the logic that more money equals happier childhood, why doesn't she get her son adopted by the likes of Madonna or the Beckhams, who really could give him everything he wants.

Pay no attention. You are not lazy and your choices are no one's business but your own.

My SIL says this, she sees her kids (6 + 4) for 2 hours a day, and when my niece said something like "why can't you be with us more mummy" her answer was, i work to give you all the things you have, would you rather i played bingo all day and we lived on a council estate!

The thing is, i am a SAHM (well i do work weekends) but she was telling this to me, and obviously completely forgot who she was talking to. She makes me feel like a lazy cow for staying at home, and she seriously thinks that money and materialistic stuff makes kids happy.

pinky, let it wash over you! You will meet women like this, both WOHM and SAHM who will try to justify their guilt by slating the choice YOU made. Of course there are advantages either way but as long as YOU are happy with what you have and you know your LO is happy and well-cared for, just ignore the silly bint!

Yeah, ignore the silly woman. I'm now a SAHM, but I was working full time until a few months ago. When DS was a couple of months old and I was planning my return to work, this woman said to me that she thought what I was doing was wrong because she believed that if you have a chil you should look after it. Apparently, it was also wrong for my partner to be SAHD. Well now I am at home with DS and I have heard that this woman is working full-time, so the tables have turned. It's whatever suits you and your family. Don't worry about her and her comments.

thank u i feel loads better now, plus you've given me plenty of comments to say back if she comes again! lol

wow - I cant think of many children who would want more toys compared to more mummy!

I would count being able to have a decent standard of living as one of the reasons we both work - but I mean that in terms of being able to pay the mortgage on a house that isnt in a scarily rough area, being able to eat decent healthy food and pay for little treats like books, the odd day out, babygroup on my day off etc etc. I certainly wouldnt work more hours that I had to to buy stupidly expensive toys or to go off on caribean holidays.

I think most mums love the idea of being a sahm but for may decent reasons have to work (and in this I include finding being at home all the time very difficult - certainly a reason why I work - I dont have the patience to be at home all the time - think sahms are saints who deserve medals!). So maybe she was feeling guilty and it just came out wrong...

TBH some mums are idiots and it doesn't matter if they are SAHM or WOHM. Concentrate what you think is best for you and your family. It sounds like this stupid cow is insecure about her choices and that is why she feels the need to ram it down other peoples throats.

Oh, and it doesn't matter where she is going on holiday because if you have a baby with you it sure as hell won't feel like a holiday.