2 year old not given water at nursery

[bzarda]

I genuinely need advice if I am being an over the top first time mum or not before I contact the nursery.

My 2 year old (26 months) has been going to nursery for a few mornings a week since she turned 2. She doesn't need to go because my work is flexible and I work in the evenings (although I have been getting work done the mornings she is there) but I wanted her to get used to being with other people, have more socialisation with children and do the messy play stuff we don't do a huge amount of at home. I'm also going back to teaching come September so she will need to get used to childcare.

She has coped really well and cries a bit at drop off but is always happy when I pick her up, until today. I got her at 12 and she runs towards me in tears asking for her water bottle. The staff start asking me what it looks like and reassuring me she's had plenty of water throughout the day but I can hear them asking one another ("has she? Oh I don't know"). I check her bag and her water bottle is stuffed underneath her jacket exactly where I packed it this morning, so she hasn't had a drink since before 9am and no one has bothered to check her bag despite me reminding one of the nursery workers at drop off.

She is really tearful on the way home and telling me she was asking to go home the whole morning and everyone told her no. The nursery also told me she hadn't played much this morning and had been sat down a lot which isn't like her at all. She also hasn't gone to the potty at all since her first wee this morning despite prompting from me which makes me think she is really dehydrated! In this weather in particular it does worry me.

Basically, I'm pissed off that it feels like she has been forgotten about all morning. She's been sat upset at nursery not playing, not offered any water and not taken to the potty. That feels like the basic minimum of care to me.

She is a sensitive little girl and slow to warm up to people but her confidence does seem to have grown since she started going. At the same time, her language is really good and she consistently tells me she doesn't want to go to nursery and has specifically told me this morning that she was upset and the nursery workers ignored her and told her no when she asked to go home/them to call me.

AIBU to call the nursery to complain about this? I don't want to be one of "those" parents but at the same time I feel like pulling her out.

3 hours without water won't do a single bit of damage, if it had been 8-6 then that's another kettle of fish but you are massively overreacting.

3 hours without any water is fine. If her language is that good she would have said if thirsty and they would have got her a drink. If she’s asking to go home then makes sense that the staff will try to distract her because they will be trying to get her to settle and manage the whole session. 3 hours without a wee is also fine and I wouldn’t expect them to take a child that is fully trained because they’d usually take themselves.

By all means ask the nursery what they normally do- if they give cups at snack time or if water bottles go somewhere specific to ensure she can access it if needed but I really wouldn’t be worried.

She is shy and softly spoken and doesn't advocate for herself yet. The staff have told me before they forget she's only just 2 because her communication is good and she tends to play with the 3 year old preschoolers. My worry about the potty isn't that she wasn't taken as such but more a worry about dehydration because she would normally have gone at least twice by 12 (and it's currently half 2 and she still hasn't gone).

Water wise I've always given it over with her other things in the bag to make handover quicker as this is meant to make them less upset. This is what other parents do too. I'm going to clarify if there is a system but in the pictures I get there are often water bottles of other children all over the place so it does seem like they are allowed to walk around with them. I'm going to hand it over out of the bag in future.

I don't think she does have a snack - I've never been told about snack time or been told about things she has eaten if so. There is no information on their website either, it just mentions lunch. I will ask them for sure.

I also find it odd no snack offered or cup of water?

Thanks, I did speak to them at pick up. They told me she had no water and had sat there all morning not playing.
The nursery has a policy that they ring parents if your child is getting upset and as she has no key worker at the moment (signed off) they had said they would ring me if she became upset or asked for me more than 3 times. This is partially why I chose this particular nursery. I understand getting upset at drop off but I don't like the thought of her being upset for 3 hours, but I can see I've catastrophised it a bit in my brain.

I didn't realise this was odd! I'm a first time mum and she's only been there for 2 months, and she's not a huge eater so I didn't think this was abnormal. I've only seen water bottles when I have picked her up. I am definitely going to ask.

To be honest it sounds more like she's coming down with something. Not playing when she's usually happy, upset when she sees you, seems dehydrated - I would be expecting a fever within 24 hours.

Our nursery had a space for water bottles to be put at the beginning of the day, but I think only for the older ones - at 2 I would expect the adults to be giving them cups of water, especially at snack time. Presumably they're not wandering around eating, so there's opportunity for a drink then? I would absolutely go and talk to the office about their procedures, and perhaps also go and look at a few other nurseries if you're not sure about this one.

ETA - just seen you don't get told about snack time... that's really odd. At our nursery they kept them well fed as a distraction and to keep them happy 😂 I'm sure they are feeding them something in those three hours.

Thank you this is really helpful :)

I wouldn't be impressed if they encouraged them to walk around with their water bottle. I would also think there is a huge risk of children using other children's water bottles at that age

I would also assume a snack time. KS1 children have morning snack. so would assume nursery children would too

You're doing a great job op so don't feel guilty x

Sending you a supportive hug. She will be fine. Don't let her 'catch' your anxiety. Nobody can look after a mummy's baby like their mummy. You're doing the best you can for her, and she will thrive.

this is a non event. Ask staff if kids are given a drink with food. Kids are like this sometimes. Ratios are 1 to 5 at this age so staff may have been busy. Sure you aren't projecting?

Of course they're not going to ring you every time she says 'I wanna go hoooooome'. If they let every kid do that they would have an empty nursery and it would be chaos!

Thank you xx

Thank you, I do try to be conscious of this, I don't want her to worry like I do. Thank you for your advice x

I think if your DD has just started at nursery, she is more likely to be tired. Socialising is tiring work for children (and adults).

The staff start asking me what it looks like and reassuring me she's had plenty of water throughout the day but I can hear them asking one another ("has she? Oh I don't know").

Now that would bug me.

We don’t use child’s own water bottles and have had parents query whether they’ve had a drink as it will still be full. Ofsted requires fresh water to be available at all times. We offer a drink at snack time (as well as the meals times) and they get a drink on request in younger rooms and have access to a water fountain in the preschool room where they can get their own cups and help themselves. We usually make sure they get asked if they’ve want a drink if they look a bit hot in this weather at other times if we are worried they aren’t asking.

Definitely check how drinks are offered through the day. We did try their own water bottles but everyone just took everyone else’s, especially in the younger groups and illness spread more.