To have a polite word with the kids on our street, or to have friendly chat with parents??????????

[Thomcat]

Feel awkward but......

All 3 kids sleep in the front. One is 6 with SNs and gets really tired, one is 2 and the other is 7 months.

Kids next door and one away are aged 3 to about 8.

They all play outside on pavement and as my lawn merges with next doors they often are on our front lawn too (not a problem in itself at all btw)

There is 4 boys and 2 girls that play out.

Great kids, I like all of them.

But they go to bed a lot later than mine.

Mine are in bed at 7pm and usually asleep by the time I leave the room.

Tonight neighbours kids were still shouting, riding skateboards (quite loud on a pavement), playing football, play fighting at 9pm.

Mine were aware that playing was going on so eldest 2 were up shouting out other kids names, looking out on their bedroom window at them etc.

I know that their mood will be effected by a late night.

Kids eventually went in at 9.30 tonight and my kids now asleep.

Do I say something next time or is this just a case of - it's life, get over it?

Would only say something like 'boys would you mind keeping it down a little please, and maybe playing a bit further down, more outside your own front door, as the girls are trying to sleep'??????

Or do I mention it to parents - or is that making too big a deal of it?

Or shall I shut up and put up?

Gonna be a long summer if so.

Essay

If they're good kids I'd just say as you've suggested to them. Going to the parents may feel to them a bit like being 'told on' iykwim. If you just ask them politely I'm sure they'll take notice if they nice If not, then I'd go to parents.

Thanks. Feel like a right old meanie

Yes, ask them directly, as per your own suggestion.

I suspect neighbours might feel the same about my DCs lately, I wouldn't mind a bit if someone asked them to keep the noise down and I would hope they'd comply.

Oh don't. I've got a bunch of really lovely kids in our small street that play out, around 10 of them including my dd aged from around 4 to 14. If they're ever getting too noisy or rowdy I always stick my head out and ask them to move or keep it down. They always do and are fine about it. You're not telling them to go in and stop playinga re you

i think you should chat to the parents. You could just mention that your SN child gets disturbed by it. That way, it makes it sound like they would be doing you a favour and you are not having a go or questioning their parenting, iyswim

True.
Thanks for making me feel better.

I think that you don't really have the right to ask them to play inside or go to bed earlier. Their parents clearly have different rules to you and you need to respect that.

I think you would be within your rights to ask them to keep the noise down though I would suggest you ask the parents rather than the kids otherwise there will be a post on here tomorrow "AIBU - my neighbour is trying to control my kids!!"

Big sympathy on this - is it only at weekends, though?

It would be a good idea to ask the parents, but whether it makes any difference is in the lap of the gods.

Otherwise, perhaps get double glazing or swap bedrooms around?

Have got double glazing but still very easy to hear kids right outside being kids and not possible to swap my children into the back as the biggest room is in the front and DD1 & DD2 share and the other room at the back is the bathroom.

Would never ask the children to play inside or stop playing or anything like that. Just wondered if it might be ok if they didn't play directly under girls window.

Thought that bringing it up with their parents might be making too big a deal of it but most people think that would be better than popping head out and asking older boys if they would mind moving away from the window a bit.

Hate this sort of thing.

DarthVader - it's worse at weekends.

How well do you know the parents?

Lots of people let their children stay up till it gets dark at weekends but if the parents are reasonable, they wouldn't mind if you told them about your children's bed times and asked if the other kids could possibly play in the back garden after 7.30 or so. Do they have a back garden?

I would just ask the kids nicely. If they don't move you could ask the parents but if they are nice kids they will probably move.

Memories of being put to bed myself on summer nights and watching all the older children out playing!

and I'd talk to the parents rather than the kids because the children might take it as a 'row' and mis-report what you said to the parents and then you're in a trickier situation.

Yes they have back gardens. And I'm cool about them playing in the front or the back just would prefer them to not be so loud right under my lots bedroom window, If they played out the front but a bit further down the road - like outside their own house, not outside mine maybe.

oh they could play further down too? Yes, speak nicely to the parents. They have lots of options so they would be very unreasonable to object.

I'd just hate to make the parents feel like I was saying I don't want their kids playing out. They have every right to be kids and do their thing. but when mine are still up at 9pm and I know about it the next day I have to say something. Just want to get it right so that the parents then feel their kids can't play out the front.

I'd start with the kids, pretty much exactly what you wrote, maybe with a little bit more of "can you do me a favour boys - you know how dd and the babies really need their sleep.." and then what you suggested - then they can't possibly take it as being told off, more being asked to help.

If that doesn't work, try a similar approach with the parents?

Really nice to hear there are children in London who still play out! I agree with Turquoise, would approach the kids in a friendly 'can you do me a favour' way and mention it to the parents in passing if you can 'hope you don't mind but I've asked the kids if they could possibly steer clear of my front when they are playing out late as it's keeping my lot up'.

I would have a friendly kind chat directly with the kids involved tbh, in my experience of this kids tend to listen to adults who treat them with respect, and part of that is talking to them directly, rather than going to their parents. I may talk a bit more to the older ones and ask them if they can 'help' make sure the younger kids play quietly in the evening.

You may need to pop your head out every night after 7 though, to remind them to keep it down. It takes kids a while to remember these things, especially when they are busy having fun!

I had a similar problem. My seven month old sleeps in front of our house and next door's teenagers and their m8's used to use the front of their house as a 'hanging out point'. Very noisy.

A few weeks of me asking them to keep the noise down and they soon found somewhere else to stand, I did try talking to the parents but found dealing with the kids themselves more effective.

I think the trick here is to make it obvious to all (parents and kids) that they are very welcome at all other times to play there; then they won't feel you're an unreasonable b.

I would have been a parent of children playing out late and as long as my neighbours made it clear that it was just when her children were gone to bed that she had a problem with I'd be accommodating. If I felt however she didn't want the kids playing there at other times I'd have been more annoyed.
Our next door neighbour did night shift sometimes when my dc were younger, and I would automatically get them to play elsewhere when he was sleeping because I know they'd do the same for us.

Thanks everyone. They are lovely kids and is great they all play out in the street together. Will have to have a very nice word next time though. The girls were so tired the following day having been up at the window till 9 looking out at the other kids, it was impossible to do anything with them and they were so ratty with each other, it was horrid.