To throw DC a birthday party

[SixEggOmellette]

Any wisdom please? DC is quite little still (Pre-Prep) and looks forward to birthday party all year. I am trying to plan a party for upcoming birthday but DH is really against it. He says it is too much work and stress, and we should just take DC out for a meal. If we did this, DC would be the only child in peer group not having a party and would be extremely disappointed. I feel it's important to arrange something, which I am happy to sort out by myself, and asked DC to support me in getting on with this. He accused me of being really unreasonable and not supporting him in not wanting to have the stress of a party. I feel like just pressing on without his approval (it will be easier if he is mot involved anyway) but it will cause a lot of arguments and I know he will say awful things about this on front of DC. Should I plan something or AIBU?

As long as the party isn't causing you financial hardship then I'd tell him to jog on, the miserable bastard. Imagine grudging your child a birthday party!

What a child your husband is. It finished me when he said you were not supporting him not wanting any stress. Selfish me, me, twerp.Its not all about him.
Please give you child a party, and ignore your husband. Better still show him this thread, he needs to know the world does not revolve around him.

Is this the only time he's behaved like this or is he regularly this unpleasant?

Birthday parties aren't something my husband excels at so we quickly fell into a tradition that I organise the parties and he helps with the cleanup or watches our other child, or does a bunch of the carrying around of whatever. But it works for us and he begrudges none of the effort or expense of celebrating our children. So if this is just one thing your partner just can't cope with, figure out a way through. If this is just one of the many ways he is regularly unpleasant it's a different situation.

Why on earth would a young child want to celebrate their birthday by going out for a meal?! Of course they’d prefer a party! Your DH is being selfish. As long as you can afford it, what’s the stress?

If he's little, no need to have any stress.

Of course organise something, you can just book a soft play or something, get a cake and job done. If you keep numbers low, it won't cost too much.

Your DH is an arse. he will say awful things about this on front of DC
it's his child too, ask him why he would be spiteful and nasty in front of a little kid?

Wtf is wrong with your husband?!

If your child is at pre-prep that’s presumably private school and money isn’t too much of an issue so definitely let the poor kid have his party like all his friends. If organisation is a genuine concern then you can choose a venue that will sort it all for you rather than a DIY option at home or in a hall.

What kind of small child wants to be taken out for a meal for their birthday?!

A dozen kids at softplay and a birthday cake, mostly organised by his spouse, is hardly strenuous and it’s just part of being a parent. Unless you’re trying to plan something akin to a celebrity wedding then he’s being horribly selfish. Miserable sod.

I feel like just pressing on without his approval (it will be easier if he is mot involved anyway) but it will cause a lot of arguments and I know he will say awful things about this on front of DC

I would be reconsidering the whole idea of being with this man. He is verbally abusing you in front of your daughter - what lessons is she learning from this.

Your child is looking forward to a party, would be the only one not having a party, and you're happy to plan and organise a party.

Have the party! 🎉

Is he this joyless in all aspects of his / your life? I'd seriously be considering if i want to spend my life with him

If he doesn't like this then don't do one at home, do one at a soft play or something. He's a miser.

Yes press on but if it's going to cost a few hundred pounds you will need to agree cost if it's from joint funds subject to your usual rules. If he's bothered about the stress tell him you'll organise it but he needs to be willing to pay half!

Plan a party and get a divorce.

Just have it at a soft play type place that does everything for you! These days I’m sure you can even order cakes/balloons and party bags from them so all you do is turn up!

Saying horrible things about it to your child? Ruin their fun, make them feel bad about their birthdays... this is awful.

Does he do this about other things if everyone doesn't agree with his point of view?

So you are going to organise everything, no work for him... I'd tell dad he doesn't even need to show up to the party.

Foul behaviour. I would be having a serious look at his behaviour, if this is a common theme (which i am assuming it is as you are predicting he will say something bad to your very young child) then I think considering whether you want your child to be brought up where their opinion doesn't matter and is ridiculed for it can continue. I couldn't.

Exactly my thought, how selfish of him. Even if you don't have a party surely he sees that going out for a meal is not particularly fun for a child.

Book a party at a local soft play or something if you can afford too, minimal stress or organisation and no tidy up after. You also wouldn't really need your DH to be involved or do anything

This is really sad.

There were many things I would rather not have done - including arranging birthday parties - but they bought DS joy so there was no way I wasn't going to do it.

As a parent, you suck it up and get on with it.

You have greater problems in store than just this birthday party.