Am I being precious about hobby

[Yayyo247]

So last year I got back into my passion and bought myself a horse as youngest son now as secondary school so have more time and financially in a great place. DH also was into horses growing up but hadn’t shown much interest when I was attending riding schools etc and getting back into it.
this year DH went and bought himself a horses and arrived at my yard (with owner’s permission) as a surprise but he had no stable space yet so they both had to live out. I was not happy with this and impacted my horses routine so I move yard, paid further deposit and have settled.
i enjoy my time up there to do my hobby and have some space from work, life and stress. Unknowingly to me DH had spoken to owner of new yard that if a space come up could he have it which I found out this week when she came to tell me she has a stable from this weekend for husband.
am I being precious that I just want my time to decompress and it sort of feels he is taking over everything I am trying achieve

Have you communicated any of this (openly and honestly) to him, or have you just hoped he'd pick up on how you feel?

I get that a good livery yard becomes a bit of a sacred space (both in terms of the time you spend with your horse, but also the good bitching sessions you can have with other liveries!) but you can't expect him to know that unless you've told him.

I would be extremely careful how you communicate this, because if I was your husband I would be very hurt to discover that you don't want to spend time with him in this shared hobby, in fact you want him to stay away. Particularly considering he would actively like to share this hobby, by trying to make sure his horse is in the same place as your horse.

If you already have your own horse, I think it's strange to say he's "taking over" by wanting his horse in the same place. Taking over to me would be him wanting to share the horse. Is there more going on that leads you to think this?

I haven’t said it explicitly but have been off work a few weeks with Mental health and have explained that the yard is my space , the place I am not mum worrying about everything and can take a breather which is why I mostly like to go alone - as he wants to go together and do one then the other as they are 15 mins away from each other.
I thought he understood that.
May new yard does have much better facilities a for rider and horse for pretty much the same money monthly and is closer to home but I just feel he takes over and can be awkward socially with people which puts me on edge

The taking over is things like giving me ‘advice’ and pointing out constantly how he does things and how his way of better than mine. He can take instant dislike to people and then not talk which puts me on edge when I just want to enjoy my space.
another example would be the yard is leased to the manager and the owner live on site and he has befriended the owner and already wrangling additional space and storage for himself directly with them

Ah that's tricky OP especially balancing it with MH challenges!
Best wishes for a difficult conversation. Just be aware that he will likely feel quite rejected and try to find ways to be compassionate and reassuring about that, so you don't hurt the person you love.

He is thinking: it’s great we both have a bit more time and enjoy horses, so we can do something fun together and I can support @Yayyo247 because I know she’s struggling a bit at the moment.

You ‘thought he understood’ but it sounds as though you were not very clear. I think there is a compromise to be had. You can go and do things with the horse on your own when he’s at work, but plan a ride together at weekends.

I agree with this. OP unless he is quite a controlling person generally he seems to think it’s a nice hobby you can do together, but that’s not what you want. I also need time on my own to decompress so I can understand how you feel. I don’t think you’re being precious, you just need to communicate that you need time alone doing your hobby for your MH so you can destress. But that you love him and would like to do it together occasionally. If the only option is to be there at the same time then one of you will need to move stables again 🙈