Should I give up

[Flamingodaughter]

First time posting, not sure if I’m doing this right lol. I’m currently 15 stone and 5ft 6. I’m 51F. People say I carry my weight well but I feel fat and I ache constantly. However, when I try to diet I become so down and depressed and I end up breaking my diet and/or reverting back to my youth when I was very very slim but bulimic. Sometimes I think I should concentrate on eating well, getting three meals a day with plenty of fruit and veg and forget all about losing weight. I just want to stop thinking about food all the time and being depressed and sad about how I look. I love my DH immensely and constantly worry about not being slim enough/attractive enough to him. AIBU to give up on dieting and concentrate on eating well rather than constantly binging on junk or will that just lead to me getting bigger and bigger? And therefore unhealthier.

I guess it depends on what 'eating well' actually means. If that means not buying and eating junk food and instead filling up on vegetables and fruit and protein, then absolutely ditch the psychic torture that is trying to diet and failing :)

Yes that’s exactly what I mean, I’m constantly trying to follow slimming world or weight watchers and it’s making me obsessed which in turn makes me return to bad habits of binging and sometimes purging. I feel like maybe I should accept I’m overweight at the moment and concentrate on changing my diet permanently even if that means a slow weight loss or even no weight loss at first. I feel like I’ve forgotten how to eat ‘normally’ and need to re-educate myself on that before focusing on losing g weight if that makes sense.

As an ex bullimia sufferer, I'd say you need to find some healthy safe foods that won't trigger a binge. For me it was avoiding carbs and having a plate of meat and veg. Or eating prawns and seafood as snacks.

Then once I got used to feeling satiation without bloating, I gradually reintroduced carbs, then sweets and stuff in moderation.

I wish you well. Take each day at a time. And just because you've taken a bite of cake, doesn't mean you need to eat the whole thing. Give it away or even bin it if you have to, just to prove you don't need to go through with a big binge.

You are absolutely right that eating well is the way to go. Eating well will result in you losing weight, since it seems like you mean eating mostly fruit, veg and lean protein. That's not dieting, that's lifestyle change and it's the only way to keep from gaining weight back. Crash diets where you starve yourself are not effective. Just eat a good clean diet and get enough exercise. Build some muscle, which helps you burn calories in addition to all the other benefits. You'll lose weight the proper way, which is slowly, not a quick loss from starving yourself. You lose more muscle when you do crash diets, which results in a higher body fat %.
You can stop bringing on junk. It sounds like you have some anxiety and self esteem problems which lead you to emotional eating. Address those issues. Best of luck lovey.

👍That is exactly what you need; a permanent change and slow weight loss. Yes, what you're saying makes total sense.

Thank you, you are absolutely right, I know my triggers and I need to find a way to deal with them. Food triggers are hard to deal with but another thing that triggers me is feeling that I’ve ‘broken’ my diet so may as well eat everything in sight hence wanting to stop feeling like I’m dieting as such.

Thank you, I don’t know why but your comment brought a tear to my eye. I appreciate your answer and advice.