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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was this stealing?

36 replies

JoelyJoe · 23/06/2025 22:44

So, this happened today...,
I went for a quick shop in M&S after work, to get a few items, including a bunch of bananas.
I was in a hurry, so went to the self-service checkouts, as there was a queue at the tills.
I scanned everything through, until I got to the bananas, at which point I realised that I needed to weigh them and I was at the type of machine that didn't have scales. The scales were at the end of the row, so I left my stuff and went to do it there. However, there was a staff member at the scales, pulling out the ticket / sticker reel (there were loops of it everywhere... it looked like she was having a problem!).
I asked where I should weigh my bananas, and she replied that I couldn't do it there, as she was going to be a while. I was looking around, thinking that I'd either have to start again and queue, or leave the bananas behind, and I asked her if there was somewhere else I could weigh them. At this point she said: "Just take them". I said "What?". She said, "Just take them". I said, "What, put them in my bag without paying... surely I can't do that", and she said "Don't worry, just take them". So I did.
Driving home, I had this internal dialogue going on... "that was weird.. do M&S employees have discretion to waive payment in certain circumstances..? etc etc", and inevitably came to the conclusion that of course they don't. She was probably just hassled and wanted my out of her hair, so took an easy option.
So, was I given free bananas, or did I steal them??

YABU - of course you stole the bananas, you didn't pay for them
YANBU - you were given permission to take them, by an employee, it is not stealing.

OP posts:
AppleKatie · 23/06/2025 22:45

Free bananas win win. I think M&S will survive it.

fashionqueen0123 · 23/06/2025 22:46

I had similar in Sains when something wasn’t scanning right. The guy clearly didn’t want to spend the next 15 mins working it out so said don’t worry just take it.

floppy44 · 23/06/2025 22:46

An employee told you to take them because they couldn’t be bothered to assist you. So no it isn’t stealing. Enjoy your free bananas.

WinSomeandLoseSome · 23/06/2025 22:47

Had this in primark. She couldn’t find the bar code so just put it in the bag. I was dead worried I was going to get stopped on the way out.

WingingIt101 · 23/06/2025 22:51

I voted yabu but only based on your criteria - stealing is taking without paying. I’m not sure the staff member would have the discretion to give the stock away and many moons ago when I worked in a supermarket if we wanted to give something away for any reason such as goodwill we still had to get a manager to put it through and override the price so they could monitor stock and goodwill gestures etc.

that said you were told by a member of staff so it doesn’t feel like the same as you walking in, deliberately concealing them in your bag and walking back out!

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 23/06/2025 22:53

WingingIt101 · 23/06/2025 22:51

I voted yabu but only based on your criteria - stealing is taking without paying. I’m not sure the staff member would have the discretion to give the stock away and many moons ago when I worked in a supermarket if we wanted to give something away for any reason such as goodwill we still had to get a manager to put it through and override the price so they could monitor stock and goodwill gestures etc.

that said you were told by a member of staff so it doesn’t feel like the same as you walking in, deliberately concealing them in your bag and walking back out!

Stealing is taking without consent, OP had consent.

WillYouDoTheFandango · 23/06/2025 22:54

I also had this in Sainsbury’s on Friday night. Free bottle of fizzy water that wouldn’t scan, young man on the tills on his own told us to take it. My son was shitting it that we’d get stopped. He thought the alarms would go off!

Fairygoblin · 23/06/2025 23:00

It’s excellent customer service to my mind! She recognised that the situation with the scales / available staff to help was out of your control. You asked for assistance, they freely gave you a resolution. I’m sure staff or a certain level of staff are entrusted to make decisions to ensure good customer relations.

Kendodd · 23/06/2025 23:03

I got my whole (basket) shop free once at Tesco. Was at self service, scanner kept going wrong, wouldn't take payment, took ages, staff kept helping me, eventually gave up on that machine and moved me to another. Then that machine started going wrong and not scanning. Manager comped my shopping, even asked if I had anything I'd need a receipt for incase I need to return it.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 23/06/2025 23:04

My mum had a free bag of shopping from M&S years ago when their till was broken. More recently my best friend had a free online order from them when they were hacked.

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 23/06/2025 23:06

The only problem with this is that it does rather vindicate all of the 'hilarious' types who say "Well, if it won't scan, it must be free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 23/06/2025 23:16

I used to work at a supermarket - she absolutely will have had authority to do that OP.

I was in Tesco once when DD was tiny, and there was a power cut, no tills. In the end I went to a member of staff and said I was really sorry, but I had a Dr's appt, so I'd have to leave my trolley. She asked if there was anything I was desperate for - I said the nappies. She said take them, then she saw formula and told me to take that too, and then saw a sandwich and said to take that too if it was my lunch! I was really surprised, but really grateful.

DoctorRoseReturns · 23/06/2025 23:19

WingingIt101 · 23/06/2025 22:51

I voted yabu but only based on your criteria - stealing is taking without paying. I’m not sure the staff member would have the discretion to give the stock away and many moons ago when I worked in a supermarket if we wanted to give something away for any reason such as goodwill we still had to get a manager to put it through and override the price so they could monitor stock and goodwill gestures etc.

that said you were told by a member of staff so it doesn’t feel like the same as you walking in, deliberately concealing them in your bag and walking back out!

Stealing isn't just "not paying" or all freebies would be stolen goods...

nomas · 23/06/2025 23:19

Our local Waitrose often has loads of unsold bananas reduced to pennies.

And yes, the staff have discretion. I've been allowed to take (low value) stuff without paying when they've had scanning issues.

nomas · 23/06/2025 23:20

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 23/06/2025 23:16

I used to work at a supermarket - she absolutely will have had authority to do that OP.

I was in Tesco once when DD was tiny, and there was a power cut, no tills. In the end I went to a member of staff and said I was really sorry, but I had a Dr's appt, so I'd have to leave my trolley. She asked if there was anything I was desperate for - I said the nappies. She said take them, then she saw formula and told me to take that too, and then saw a sandwich and said to take that too if it was my lunch! I was really surprised, but really grateful.

Yeah, that's a bit too much. She was probably leaving the job soon.

DoctorRoseReturns · 23/06/2025 23:23

If anyone was stealing, it was the assistant but they will likely have discretion

I've done it at work, given away a freebie if it will maintain customer satisfaction

Also had staff at shops where items haven't scanned who just scanned another item of around the same price (but usually cheaper, never more) twice. At one point the local Asda was putting stuff through as Chewing gum because they could grab that from the till...

naemates · 23/06/2025 23:24

I used to put any produce I couldn’t find the code for through as onions as it was the cheapest. I wasn’t great at checkouts Grin

Original poster
JoelyJoe · 23/06/2025 23:26

Pleasantly surprised by all the positive messages, as I thought I might get slated... Seems I can enjoy my bananas guilt-free!! 🙂

OP posts:
GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 23/06/2025 23:26

nomas · 23/06/2025 23:20

Yeah, that's a bit too much. She was probably leaving the job soon.

Show quote history

I know! I honestly wasn't expecting anything - I was mostly feeling guilty someone would have to re shelve my shopping in amongst all the chaos.

I figured I had a tiny baby and probably looked completely frazzled, the power had been off for about 30 minutes with no sign of it coming back on, they'd already found a chair for me to feed her, and they were probably trying to forestall a social media post along the lines of 'omg Tesco were awful, I can't feed or change my baby and it's all their fauuuulllllt!' (not that I'd have done that!)

stayathomer · 23/06/2025 23:29

Fairygoblin

It’s excellent customer service to my mind! She recognised that the situation with the scales / available staff to help was out of your control. You asked for assistance, they freely gave you a resolution. I’m sure staff or a certain level of staff are entrusted to make decisions to ensure good customer relations.
I’m pretty sure they’re not and she’d have been fired if overheard. Very different a high up manager saying this to a normal employee. Our supermarket wouldn’t even give you a warning on this- they have signs up in the stock room reminding you that even one grape not being paid for is stealing

Offleyhoo · 23/06/2025 23:30

Not stealing, I think the staff have the authority to do this if necessary. I gained a cucumber the same way last year from Sainsbury's. As an aside I am VERY careful with the self scanners as I'd be mortified if there was ever any suggestion I'd deliberately not scanned something.

Backfromhols · 23/06/2025 23:31

I’ve been given items in Waitrose by staff members multiple times.

lilacbreeze · 23/06/2025 23:33

The staff shouldn’t have given them away and could get in trouble but you weren’t technically stealing. CCTV will show this- there is a camera built into each self serve checkout.

AutumnFog · 23/06/2025 23:35

So many bananas get put in waste, I'm pretty sure her manager would agree with the decision to improve customer experience and reduce queues with such a small priced item which is perishable and has a high volume of waste anyway.

Happyhandbag56 · 23/06/2025 23:37

I don’t know if she has discretion but I have had similar in both my local M&S and Sainsbury’s. I have worked in retail myself and we wouldn’t have been allowed to do this but maybe some companies have different policies? Certainly not something I’d worry about.