Wasp nest - aibu?

[Totallyfedupnow]

Just got back from holiday to be told that the next door neighbours have discovered a large wasp nest behind a panel on the side of their house. It’s about 4ft from our garden fence and 15ft from our house. But obviously wasps fly…

Meanwhile I have a young DC who was terrorised by wasps while on a walk in the UK a couple of years ago - they crawled all over his face, over his lips and nose, and kept following him when he tried to move away. As a result he is absolutely terrified of wasps and won’t go outside in the garden if they are around.

I presumed that the neighbours would be getting in pest control to remove the nest, which is what I would obviously do, but they say no, they will be waiting for the nest to die off naturally in the autumn and then they will block the space up, which means the nest will be there all summer.

I explained about my DC’s experience and the impact this might have on him, but all they said was “sorry to hear that, we’re keeping the wasps anyway”.

AIBU to think they are being really selfish?

Wasps are not bees. We spend all summer keeping the wasps off our house. They love it for some reason. If we don’t, we get swarmed the second we step outside.

They are incredibly aggressive and a sting means huge swelling for me for about a week, but thankfully so far I haven’t had to use an epi-pen.

We had a wasp nest at the bottom of our garden growing up, it was definitely there for more than one year, so was the one in our roof more recently. Anyway, it never caused me or my children any issues, the risk of being stung is extremely low, and it's not that bad. It's something kids have to learn, you can't sanitise the world of creatures just because one bothered you once. I'd only consider getting one removed if someone liviing nearby was allergic.

I'm not sure there's a council in the country that's got the budget for inspecting wasps nests on private land?

If they will not remove it, they are within their rights not to do so unfortunately.

Try not to panic, it will make him worse as he'll pick up your fear. Wasps are a pain in the arse for everyone, and they're also part of living in this country in the summer. Other countries have some very interesting wildlife, that people start to learn to live with as children, including scary encounters. You will have to manage it, and support him to cope with it.

I remember watching a program on TV about midges.

There were some people that claimed they were bitten more. They did a scientific experiment and proved that they actually were.

They did a chemical analysis of their sweat IIRC and they apparently had more of a specific chemical in their sweat.

https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn1287-midge-magnet/

Maybe there is something similar to wasps.

@CatherinedeBourgh
I do plenty for insects. Bee hotels, ladybird hotels, lavender hedges, wildflowers, no-mow areas, nettle patches, water basins, you name it. I don’t even hoover up spiders.

Wasps on my doorstep, I draw the line.

The thing is, you can't make them get rid of it and I would be the same as them, I won't kill things unless absolutely necessary and I would be very reluctant to destroy a whole nest just because my neighbour wanted me to.
You are going to have to mitigate against it and use deterrents.

I was a window cleaner for 25 years, I got stung by wasps every year , I've had my hand swelling up when grabbed a cloth with a wasp on it, been chased after accidently disturbing a nest in a bush, the worst way being stung above my eye whilst up a ladder, my eye closed immediately, the only wasp I like is a dead wasp

There is something similar in wasps, they are drawn to sweat and carbon dioxide. Also if you have been eating something sweet or have sweet perfume or laundry softener on you. But there are equally things that they hate and will avoid, such as tea tree, peppermint, geranium and citronella.

Us cyclists run a similar gambit. I've been stung by many wasps and bees, mostly when they go down my top as I'm leaning forwards. One time on my neck, and one time in my groin. Luckily I don't react badly to either type of sting, my brother swells up like the marshmallow man if it's a bee.

I presume your DS isn’t aware of the wasps nest?

Bonkers.

Not yet. He’s away until early next week.
Even if nobody tells him about it when he’s home, he’ll find out soon enough.

They are being ridiculous. Report to environmental health.

A normal wasp nest is not a public health risk. She won't be able to get it removed from someone else's property either.

It’d be getting removed when they are out then. A child being able to play and feel content in their own garden over summer is more important.

I mean, that's up to you, but the simple truth is that most normal people would just get on with their lives in a world that has wasps in it.

That’s easy to say “just get on with your life” but it doesn’t sound like you have ever had wasps in your face, following you everywhere.

We literally don't have enough pollinators anymore!Pollinator decline
I really do sympathise with your situation but I agree with your neighbours that we shouldn't be killing any perfectly healthy pollinators. People have given some good advice about repellent and mesh hats. Don't let him have a phobia for life, help him to realise the good things that wasps do and build up his tolerance to being around them. Show him you aren't scared of them too. I say this as someone who had a massive fear of spiders from a very young age and can now tolerate them.

@DollydaydreamTheThird

I do plenty for insects. Bee hotels, ladybird hotels, lavender hedges, wildflowers, no-mow areas, nettle patches, water basins.

Wasps on my doorstep, I draw the line.

I understand, honestly. I'm scared of dogs thanks to an unfortunate incident. I hate them running up to me. But the reality of the world is that I can't really avoid it, so i just have to find a way to rationalise it and get on with my life - the fear is mostly in my head and there are ways I can keep myself safe in reality.

YABU. The nest has very likely been there undiscovered for a month or more. Before making demands - have you even assessed whether the wasps are a problem? Besides your disproportionate fear of them?

I think it's more antisocial to mindlessly contribute to the destruction of vital ecological systems than it is to simply tolerate wasps existing in one's own garden. And for the record, I stumbled into a wasps nest, was stung about 50 times and had to attend hospital as a result when I was a small child. My parents still instilled a love of nature in me and I do not fear wasps. It is perfectly possible to help your child past their fear but only if you can let go of your own.

@AloeVeraAloeFred I haven’t made any demands. I thought they would do the right thing, and they haven’t. When the wasps sting one of their own grandchildren I suspect they will change their tune quickly enough.

I would remove it if I were your neighbour (I did this with mine) but nothing you could do to force them doing it. So I would invest in deterrents - magnetic fly screen for windows, spray around doors, windows and on the fence, citronella candles for the outside eating.
By the way how would your child know about the nest? At the moment we regularly have wasps coming to our garden and I have no idea where they are coming from. Most of our neighbours have outbuildings as well so the possibilities are endless.

Or perhaps they will view occasionally being stung by a wasp, and getting over it, as a normal part of growing up. At least in a world that still has insects, flowers and wild places...

@pizzaheart he might not know that one is where it is but he will certainly see the wasps.
It’s been very windy here the last few days but even this evening I saw some about in our garden.