To think that most of the bad things happening in the world stem from emotional dysregulation, and if that’s the case, shouldn’t we be doing more to teach people how to emotionally regulate?

[SnugShaker]

It feels like so much of the suffering and chaos we see in the world today could be traced back to people struggling with emotional regulation. If that’s true, why aren’t we prioritising emotional education to help people manage their feelings better? Could emotional intelligence be the key to fixing so many of society’s problems?

That would be a no. There are people who can quite happy regulate their emotions, but are still fighting like toddlers over what they think is theirs.

Religious extremism has caused far more harm than emotional disregulation

Greed,
Tribailsm,
Patriarchy
Mysogyny
Ego

Are the drivers of most problems in my view, all of the above can exist during emotional regulation.

We need to teach ethics and measured judgment.

Are you suggesting that if somebody had just given the Taliban a few more hugs and some reassurance then the women of Afghanistan might be free? Or if Donald Trump had had a safe space to vent he might not be so hideous or if Netenyahu had a bit of counselling he might stop firing missiles at various countries

Are the murdeous mullahs of Iran who throw homosexuals off of buildings, and force women into marriages of sexual, physical abuse and control, emotionally disreguted?

What rot.

The desire for more power, wealth and control is what has always been the most damaging and will continue to

There have been some extremely dangerous men who are very in control of their emotions

Dysregulation in kids is one thing, in adults it’s absolutely no excuse for war, violence and murderous behaviour. Adults have control over their choices and behaviour, we aren’t slaves to our feelings.

YANBU. Everything stems back to feelings and beliefs.

There are people who can quite happy regulate their emotions, but are still fighting like toddlers over what they think is theirs.

that’s an inability to sit with feelings of disappointment, anger etc

Greed,
Tribailsm,
Patriarchy
Mysogyny
Ego

again, inability to sit with difficult feelings - jealousy, anger etc

Are you suggesting that if somebody had just given the Taliban a few more hugs and some reassurance then the women of Afghanistan might be free?

Misunderstanding of emotional regulation.

Or if Donald Trump had had a safe space to vent he might not be so hideous or if Netenyahu had a bit of counselling he might stop firing missiles at various countries

Look up Gabor Maté’s view on the trauma driving world leaders.

Clearly loads more education needed all round.

All of the bad things happening in the world right now have one common denominator. Perhaps if we stopped raising boys to be aggressive, entitled, egotistical megalomaniacs and girls to be subservient, polite people pleasers, things would be different. I don't see many emotionally dysregulated women charging headfirst into war.

That’s not what I’m suggesting at all. I’m not saying emotional regulation is a magic fix for every global crisis - just that at a human level, a lack of it underpins a lot of harmful behaviour, whether in families, workplaces, politics, or leadership.

Of course there are complex systems at play but if more people were taught from a young age how to manage emotions like rage, shame, and insecurity, the ripple effects could be significant and I don’t think it’s naive to want that.

Teaching emotion regulation skills will not cause world peace
or prevent arseholes being arseholes
BUT many people don’t know the very basics of emotion regulation skills and therefore don’t coach their kids in these skills and you get swaths of people with poor coping skills which can put pressure on NHS - end up in mental health services, A+E alcohol / drug related problems, police - violence and aggression, social services- safeguarding issues, prisons, schools -
teachers managing emotion regulation instead of teaching.. the impact is massive

I see people when faced with a difficult emotion pick up the phone for a quick dopamine hit … this behaviour then interrupts the natural emotion wave and processing and problem solving that can take place when we are able to stay with difficult emotions -

Generally I agree it can create a lot of societal issues caused by poor coping mechanisms are due to emotional issues and we’re getting worse, not better, our kids are getting sicker and less regulated.

But global world harms are power struggles we still seem to be playing out at the nation state level, not a lot to do with emotions.

Maybe teach it to the boys/men because rape, and physical assault certainly isn’t due to the victims not having “emotional regulation”.

@SnugShaker you might be interested in the film The Wisdom of Trauma. You used to be able to watch online for a small donation of any amount. Very worth a watch and completely backs up your point.

I’m a big advocate of national roll out of emotion regulation skills, but if I had my way, any sniff of sexual predator behaviour from a male and I would castrate the fucker ! I don’t believe sexual gratification is their main motive, I think it’s about power and control -

I wouldn’t even classify Emotional regulation as the source of day to day individual crime. It’s certainly not the source of the world’s problem’s.

I’m not sure whether in isolation that it’s a cause for geo political issues but I have often thought that on a societal level, be that relationships between family members, partner or spouse, friends etc that a lot of pain and suffering is caused by people who lack self esteem.

That’s not to say that everyone who lacks self esteem is destructive - many deal with feels of self doubt or inner hatred by becoming people pleasers but I do think that the majority of people in my life that have caused me suffering have done so because they dislike or hate themselves so much and that I have largely put up with it in the past because I disliked myself so much.

So I don’t think you are way off the mark here.

@Bumdrops last I looked castrating sexual predators (chemically or surgically) leads to different more violent assaults on women.

Emotional regulation will only ever work if we are taught the same values and standards and not to have a cult system in the background that says women are inferior, homosexuals are bad etc.

Jeez … is that true ?? How utterly depressing

Most of the problems stem from men