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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think not everyone’s job has to be a calling?

16 replies

ThatPlumRobin · 23/06/2025 13:24

Some work is just work. That’s fine. Romanticising everything is exhausting.

OP posts:
Whatifitallgoesright · 23/06/2025 13:27

Like when an interviewer asks: "So, what exactly makes you passionate about customer service?" And you want to reply that you are prepared to fake caring because you just want the money.

Ihaveneedofwaternear · 23/06/2025 13:30

Definitely. Work is just a means to an end for loads (the majority?) of people, and that's fine and you don't have to have a career or a calling or a passion, you just have to provide for yourself/your family and try your best to be as happy as you can in your life

maxelly · 23/06/2025 14:59

I do agree and I think it's particularly true for modern women who understandably feel they've been misled about what work would be like - while I feel things have massively improved from my generation (educated in 60s/70s) where as middle class, reasonably academic girls, our ambitions were systemically and implicitly squashed as far as humanly possible Grin and we were told to only expect to have a career spent helping men or doing 'women's work' in secretarial or caring roles and that only until you married and had kids, or if you wanted a proper professional career you faced the horrible prospect of spinsterhood. Things were much better for my daughters (educated in 90s/00s) who were taught it was not only possible but highly likely they would 'have it all' i.e. a fulfilling, vocational professional job they were passionate about and families as well. Just like how my war-generation teachers missed the huge social revolution that intelligent educated women weren't automatically limited from professional careers any more, my generation probably didn't really get that there was a huge change away from vocational, job for life, passionate work and much more towards corporate, work to live type culture which is prevalent for Gen Z and A.

I do think we did them a disservice there, my kids and many others of their generation had a bit of a nasty shock when they emerged into the world of work not really certain of what their vocation was but having been told all along that if they worked hard and achieved academically that a 'dream job' would fall in their laps, which was always bollocks really. The kids ended up feeling like they'd somehow failed for taking just a normal job that pays the bills and/or ending up working part-time and limiting their careers for a time to raise kids, rather than being high flying over-achievers who spring out of bed delighted to work every day, which was never a realistic ambition - it's as true as it always has been for all of known time, that it's only the lucky few (usually either very talented at a particular niche thing or with a lot of parental backing and money, or both) who get to follow their passion as a full-time job, the rest of us are just playing our part in the system and should feel lucky to have reasonably secure, well remunerated employment that we don't hate, or not all the time anyway, and that gives us a nice life.

That being said I don't love the narrative that's around now that working or having a career is completely pointless or even traumatic either, and that unless you have a passion or vocation (which as above few people do) you may as well not bother working at all or as little as you can afford to. Or, what often goes hand in hand with that type of talk, the idea that the only thing that matters in the world is having a family and spending time with your family. While I agree of course family and loved ones are the most important thing, the idea that it's the only thing is a dangerous path to go down, again particularly for young women. Women's entire purpose in life being to have kids is what's behind some of the 'trad wive' movement which I find really sinister - obviously raising kids is really important and we should think about how as a society we can do it better which probably means working about how we can do better to allow parents of both genders to take time out of work to do it, but I think working outside the home does have a lot of benefits too even if you don't feel passionate about what you do - financial independence, social contact, mental stimulation and challenge, sense of achievement/fulfillment outside the purely household/family being just some. I hate it when people say 'you won't wish on your deathbed you spent more time in the office', usually as a way to encourage the person to give up work and spend more time and energy with their family. I just think its a truism. Fair enough that there's a balance to be struck and I'm sure some people (men in particular) do have deathbed regrets about not spending enough time with their kids and so on when they were young, but I think it's actually a very common regret for my generation (and perhaps it will be for my DDs too) that they sacrificed too much of their career for the children too...

Didntask · 23/06/2025 15:06

Christ, no. I work PT doing mind numbingly boring admin for a local retailer for just above NMW. However, I was a SAHM for several years and was going insane. I love my colleagues, which makes my office day fun. The end.

Imperfectpolly · 23/06/2025 15:21

I think if you have meaningful things in your life outside of work, then work doesn't have to be a calling.

TerribleGardener · 23/06/2025 15:34

I have an old school friend on Facebook who has changed jobs several times in the last few years eg SAHM to Teaching Assistant to Animal rescue centre, to hospital Admin, each one is announced with a caption about how it's her absolutely passion, "finally fulfilling my dream of working with children" etc etc its crazy but obviously she feels the need for each job to be a calling of some sort.

MidnightPatrol · 23/06/2025 15:35

I mean… very few jobs can be ‘a calling’, given what most involve!

Allergictoironing · 23/06/2025 18:07

Unfortunately saying certain types of jobs are a "calling" can be an excuse to pay crap wages e.g. nursing & caring roles.

You can enjoy or at least not be unhappy in a job without it being a "calling" or a "passion"; I enjoy most of my job but I never had a calling to work admin for Local Government.

LittleWhiteFlowers · 23/06/2025 18:18

I am a sales administrator for a reasonably local company. The job is described as fast paced and challenging.....what they mean is they work you like a dog for a piddly salary and bare minimum annual leave.
My job is not a calling at all and if I won the lottery they wouldn't see me for dust!

mondaytosunday · 23/06/2025 18:22

At an interview I was asked how did I feel about blood sports (it was to work on a country sports magazine). My reply was ‘I can be bought’. I needed the job and he was kind enough to smile (and then hire me).
@maxellyi grew up in 60s/70s and we were certainly told then we could achieve anything if we worked hard enough! Women’s Lib was big then and Mary Tyler Moore (as her news producer character) was my hero. We were expected to go to uni and have careers! Though truth be told my mother was also expected to have a career and she was born in 1925! She was a medical social worker and her OLDER sisters were a lawyer and a doctor and her younger a dentist.
What hadn’t changed was the fact women still did 90% of the childcare and housework too.
My DD is at uni and fully expects to have a career in something she’s passionate about, with having a family a secondary goal. She has the drive and intellect to do that, and also the financial cushion of a decent inheritance which no denying will help so she can possibly take lower paying job if it will get her to her goal.

Greenartywitch · 23/06/2025 18:58

I think employers push that narrative though.

Every job advert advert seems to want someone who is 'passionate', 'committed' about the most mundane tasks and employers generally expect their staff to value work above everything else in life.

When frankly many people just work to get a decent salary to pay the bills, save a bit and have enough to do things they enjoy in their free time.

DwarfPalmetto · 23/06/2025 20:37

I work in the public sector. I am good at my job, it's interesting enough and my boss treats me well. I don't feel passionate about it in any way and that's all fine with me. I'm doing it for money not for love.

StMarie4me · 23/06/2025 20:42

Absolutely agree. And we should not define ourselves or others by the job that is done.

Kendodd · 23/06/2025 21:14

I do wonder what they ask people in interviews for some jobs. Working in a chicken shop, or box packing for example, is 'why do you want to working a chicken shop?' How do you answer that part from ' I need the crap low wages you pay'.

musicalchair · 24/06/2025 08:47

My gen (millennial) was definitely sold the lie that you can be or do anything you want, and you should follow your passion, especially if you have the ability to excel.

The result? I am now in an industry where it very difficult to find work, and the jobs that do exist pay a pittance. AND they still include plenty of mundane tasks that frankly I could do in a different industry and get paid twice as much for.

musicalchair · 24/06/2025 08:49

And don’t get me started on the hoops you have to jump through to try and get these lowly paid jobs. The amount of admin many applications require is unethical. Such a waste of time.

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