Sports day. Rational or irrational rage

[Strawberries86]

Its a quick one but the rage I’m feeling…. Calm me down mumsneters or share my rage.

8 year old daughter, in year 3, a group of 10, they move around activities in their group competing against each other, little score keeping, no record of winning. Mixed ages.

In a game I couldn’t quite fathom, 1 on 1, throw some balls at a cone then run to touch the cone first - now my daughter got there first so it isn’t a case of ‘my child should have won god dammit’.

But she was playing a year 6 boy, he was a foot and more taller and stocky. Ran and slide tackled her, his feet straight into her ankles. HIS MUM CHEERED?!?

He could have broken her leg. I truely believe that this woman is a large part of what is wrong with our society. She’s so proud of her darling boy for taking out a little girl? What sort of man will he grow up to be?

WTF, did the teachers stop it? That's awful and I would complain. No contact sports allowed at that age. Were you filming it?

YANBU, did you tell one of the teachers?

What did the teachers say?

It was being run by the 6th formers from the local secondary school. Teachers all over but couldn’t see one watching this group. I’m emailing rather than speaking to them

I thought it might get lost in the day, they’d forget etc. so I’m emailing the head.

They had 2 goes at it, I filmed the first one where he tried to do it but just ending up falling. So at least I can identify the child.

To be clear my daughter said it hurt but was ok, it was more than what could have happened. I saw his face, he was loving life, I genuinely don’t think it will have occurred to him to be careful with smaller children, he’s also a child, I get it.

Surely as a mum you say just be careful today when it’s mixed ages and sexes, have fun and all that. Not bloody cheering him.

Genuinely curious to hear why I’m being unreasonable.

Were you allowed to film?

I don’t think it needs to be escalated to the headteacher at this stage.

Escalated re learning about next year. This year was the first way they arranged it like this.

Sorry yes allowed to film, asked not to share to social media.

Did you say anything to the mother?

Genuinely curious to hear why I’m being unreasonable.

I didn't vote, but people may think YABU for totally blaming the mum. Did the bruiser's dad reprimand his son and apologise to you?

Dad not there that I could see, 99% sure it was just mum.

I didn’t speak to her, I’v no issue with things like this but honestly didn’t want to cause a scene if she reacted badly. I regret not doing so but my daughter loves sports day and as it was the second game of 8 and we were walking around with group for the rest of the morning, I was worried about ruining it for her. I did tell her I was going to speak to the head, so she knows Iv not just left it.

I don’t have a son, but my daughter does have younger friends, cousins etc and being careful when you are bigger than them is a conversation we have. Surely it’s a responsibility if you have a boy who’s large build, you have this conversation with them?

I would've said something to a teacher rather than waiting to email the head.

I have a son and if he had done that to a younger child, I definitely wouldn't have cheered him. He would've sat out for the rest of the sports day for a start.

Her attitude sounds not great!

In the other hand, you seen to mind the fact that he's a boy and she is a girl, and at age 6 that doesn't make a big difference in physical strength, and 6-year-old girls can benefit from a bit more rough tumbling like the boys more routinely get. Not because they have to be like boys, but because all kids can stand to develop some faith in their body and their toughness.

Year 6 boy, not six years old.

The boy is in Year 6, not age 6. He will be 11.

@Zezet he will have been likely age 11 in year 6.

I do think it matters that he is a boy, violence from men to women is an epidemic and in situations like today where as part of play, it is celebrated will be contributing to boys mindset and norms. His mum is the problem here.

Oh! Sorry, I don't know the UK system.
Then I think you're not wrong at all!!

I think it’s worth speaking to the school if only to flag it so they keep it in mind for next year and think about how to watch over the games.

The mum sounds awful, would she have been happy if a lad a foot taller than her son had tackled him? Can’t really judge the boy himself if his parents encourage him to behave like that.

I don’t at all think he was aggressive but he is a boy large for his age (tall, broad) could have been 13/14 and still tall for his age.

We need to change how we treat our boys as children to change how a sadly large number of them behave as adults.

I know some people will think I’m making a mountain out of a sports day mole hill but there has to be something we can do differently with this generation of boys to change things for children. (I know not all boys/men, but a lot of them).

The responsibility is still with the school. If they are going to have sixth formers from another school running sports day they are still responsible for supervising and ensuring the games are run safely.

Who decided it was appropriate to allow yr 6 and yr 3 play together in a game in which contact tackles were allowed? Its bloody stupid.

It was exactly a sliding tackle like that that broke my DH's ankle and means he's now got a permanent metal pin and plate holding it together.

11 year olds should not be tackling 8 year olds. No way should they be competing and if yr6 there to help they should know not to be physical with the younger kids, generally they would know to pretend to tackle but actually let the younger kid win.

I suspect boy may be a very tall and only slightly older. If so they should ensure the games are suitable for them to play against smaller children. Been to lots of sports days, sack race, egg and spoon, score a goal, shoot a basket, skipping race, throw beanbags, balance walking accross a bench etc They never had to be tackling anyone.

The mum cheering is a seperate and very obnoxious issue.

Mum to a year 1 girl. Our sports day was reception, year 1 and 2 only. The groups were in their individual year and the girls and boys were split. Even at 6 boys against girls is not going to be fair so I was glad they did it this way. I would definitely be complaining to the school.

The boy should have had an instant disqualification and taken out of all other events

You are right, the boy should have been a little more careful and the mother should not have cheered. But if you are planning to take this further please don't use the 'violence against women' argument. He is a boisterous overenthusiastic boy and she is a little girl. He is not necessarily going to grow up to be a his future girlfriends to a pulp. Focus your argument on safety and good sportsmanship.