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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it’s annoying to put your kids on the phone?

30 replies

Wildhorsesdraggedme · 22/06/2025 21:05

I don’t know why people don’t understand that I’m calling to speak to them and not to suddenly have the conversation interrupted to listen to heavy breathing and unintelligible ramblings it’s impossible to respond to.
There are only so many times I can ask how is school/your friends/ your hamsters and grit my teeth through the responses of “don’t know” “poo poo wee wee bum” without wanting to tear my hair clean out.

If you let your kids answer your phone then teach them to ask who is calling and to actually hand the phone over. My friend is a teacher and had to ring a parent with an emergency on Friday, the parents younger child answered the phone and wouldn’t pass the phone over, when she finally got to speak to the children’s mother she had to cut her off gushing about how cute and sociable her youngest is and how she loves chatting to grown ups on the phone.

It’s not cute to let your child phone to book a taxi or a restaurant table or in any professional capacity, don’t act so surprised when they don’t take it seriously or think it’s a prank and hang up!

Putting the phone on speaker during our conversation without telling me is not cool in front of your kids.
I don’t appreciate talking about sensitive subjects then hearing your child asking what a blow job is and if they can have one for Christmas please mummy?
You also can’t reprimand me for swearing in front of your kids when they shouldn’t have been listening to any of the conversation to begin with.

It’s wrong to not only let your kids eavesdrop on private conversations but also for not making sure they don’t repeat the conversation - this isn’t just applicable to phone calls.
When I take the time to come to visit you I don’t want to worry that little Jenny will be regaling the next visitors the details of my personal life in the same way she tells me that “mummy’s friend Betsty can’t go to the Tesco anymore because she had a special cuddle with the man from wines and spirits and doesn’t want to see him or be his friend anymore!”

I understand your kids are important to you but respecting your friends privacy should be as well. You might think your children are wise and insightful but they really aren’t and it’s just lazy not teaching them that they can’t be always be the centre of attention and guests have come to see their parents not them. Teach your kids how to go off and entertain themselves rather than forcing unsuspecting victims to a 40 minute rendition of frozen songs and dire choreography.

Am I overreacting or is this annoying?

OP posts:
Tulipssndturkeys · 22/06/2025 21:08

You have some seriously weird friends!!!

Changingplace · 22/06/2025 21:08

Agreed, I’ll add that it’s also very annoying if I’m talking to someone on the phone and they start having an unnecessary conversation watt their small child at the same time, I don’t want to sit here listening to that, you’ve got all day to chat to your child

Runningoutofpatiencefucksandmoney · 22/06/2025 21:14

THIS . ALL of it 🙌🙌

Katemax82 · 22/06/2025 21:17

My husbands friend married a woman with a 5 year old son who was really spoilt. We used to exchange gifts on birthdays and when it was his birthday and we sent a gift i was talking to her on the phone and she put her son on to thank me for the gift, only he didn't. I had to awkwardly talk to him as he clearly didn't want to talk on the phone to his stepdads friends wife. Very annoying

Jigaliga · 22/06/2025 21:19

Also: busy supermarkets and train stations? Yeah, this isnt the place to try and cutely teach your kid how to be an adult. Actual adults are in a hurry!

Leeds2 · 22/06/2025 21:21

I could’ve typed your post. I don’t know why people do it.

SomethingDifferentBloomed · 22/06/2025 21:36

Jigaliga · 22/06/2025 21:19

Also: busy supermarkets and train stations? Yeah, this isnt the place to try and cutely teach your kid how to be an adult. Actual adults are in a hurry!

So children are people too and also have a right to be out in public and interact with the world. Hope that helps!

WasherWoman25 · 22/06/2025 21:39

I haven’t got any friends that put their kid on the phone thank god! And the first thing I say to anyone if I answer the phone in the car is ‘your on speaker phone, mini washerwoman and / or mr washerwoman is also in the car’.

Jojimoji · 22/06/2025 21:39

SomethingDifferentBloomed · 22/06/2025 21:36

So children are people too and also have a right to be out in public and interact with the world. Hope that helps!

Parents don't have the right to use every social space for teaching moments at the expense of other people's time.
Hope that helps!

Chocolateorange22 · 22/06/2025 21:41

SomethingDifferentBloomed · 22/06/2025 21:36

So children are people too and also have a right to be out in public and interact with the world. Hope that helps!

It's like you are damned for not teaching your child life skills but then you are wrong for your university age child to not have learned how to use a washing machine for example. Can't win on mumsnet.

ConfusedSloth · 22/06/2025 21:42

DSis insists on having her two front and centre of every single family call we do. Every single time. DBros are both abroad so we don’t see each other very much at all but every single call is just her two preschoolers needing 100% of everyone’s attention, or drowning out anyone speaking. She genuinely seems to think the whole family absolutely love it - we don’t! But she won’t do a call if they’re asleep and insists they must be there 🙄

jazzhands84 · 22/06/2025 21:44

Oh no I love talking to my neice and nephew on the phone! They are so excitable and it's a treat to hear their news. Kids can have such a fun way of looking at the world.

ConfusedSloth · 22/06/2025 21:47

jazzhands84 · 22/06/2025 21:44

Oh no I love talking to my neice and nephew on the phone! They are so excitable and it's a treat to hear their news. Kids can have such a fun way of looking at the world.

I think there’s a big difference between speaking to your niece and nephew on the phone and trying to have an adult conversation with your sibling whilst your niece and nephew are on the phone making noises that drown out adults or insisting the conversation is about them.

One is an example of a well-raised child engaging in conversation with a relative, the other is a poorly-raised child expecting the world to revolve around them (because mummy/daddy thinks it should)

Wildhorsesdraggedme · 22/06/2025 22:12

I am both happy that there are people who know exactly what I’m talking about and happy for those who have never experienced it.

Anyone who has had to block a child from their FaceTime account after parents let them call on their iPad?

I was at a work meeting and my niece kept FaceTiming me on my work iPad over and over with my young nephew.

I connected it in the end to tell them to stop and that I was working but they just kept jumping round waving and singing so I did the easiest thing and blocked.
I was very unpopular with my sister who seemed to think even the people in the meeting would find it adorable and charming.

My best friend had similar and hundreds of texts, she kept blocking and her sister kept unblocking saying how cruel she was. Her sister was telling the kids to FaceTime auntie when she wanted some peace.

The next time my friend was at her sisters she went to the basket where the chargers were kept and grabbed them, unplugged them all at the wall and took them home and held them to ransom. They were only returned after negotiations for peace went in her favour and FaceTime was outlawed 😂.

OP posts:
MarxistMags · 22/06/2025 22:14

LoL 😂 LoL 😂

feelingbleh · 22/06/2025 22:20

ConfusedSloth · 22/06/2025 21:42

DSis insists on having her two front and centre of every single family call we do. Every single time. DBros are both abroad so we don’t see each other very much at all but every single call is just her two preschoolers needing 100% of everyone’s attention, or drowning out anyone speaking. She genuinely seems to think the whole family absolutely love it - we don’t! But she won’t do a call if they’re asleep and insists they must be there 🙄

I hate it when adults don't seem to be able to do anything without their children being involved

ConfusedSloth · 22/06/2025 22:29

feelingbleh · 22/06/2025 22:20

I hate it when adults don't seem to be able to do anything without their children being involved

Edited

It's honestly excruciating - I have two that are a similar age but I have the basic decency not to think the entire extended family revolves around them. It's every, single conversation. But she's generally a self-involved and completely unaware person so this isn't surprising.

EveryOtherNameTaken · 22/06/2025 22:36

Being passed to 'say hello' to anybody is awkward and annoying. Just don't!

Icanttakethisanymore · 23/06/2025 06:05

Jojimoji · 22/06/2025 21:39

Parents don't have the right to use every social space for teaching moments at the expense of other people's time.
Hope that helps!

Don’t they? Have you ever seen a parent and child chucked out of a store for taking too long to do something? I’m pretty sure that never happens because there aren’t rules about not using social spaces ( not that a shop is a social space) to teach your child stuff. You might not like it (I might not either) but to suggest they don’t have the right to be there (any more than you do) is a stretch.

Icanttakethisanymore · 23/06/2025 06:06

EveryOtherNameTaken · 22/06/2025 22:36

Being passed to 'say hello' to anybody is awkward and annoying. Just don't!

Agreed, it’s never great, whoever it is.

NestEmptying · 23/06/2025 06:21

DB does this all the time. He asks "Do you want to speak to Auntie Nest?" and then hands the phone to one of his kids without checking if Auntie Nest wants to speak to them!
Then I have to go "oh really!" etc when they tell me they did a poo in the potty or did their coat up by themselves. .

curtaintwitcher78 · 23/06/2025 06:31

Over the years there have been a few occasions where I'm having a conversation via WhatsApp (thinking that would stop the kids hearing it) only to be interrupted by a load of emojis. "Oh that was Alice, sorry! She likes to read my messages."
YOU WHAT?! Could you have warned me? This has happened with more than one friend.
Another friend didn't tell us that her kid had entered her office when we were having a group 'drink and Zoom' during lockdown (supposed to be downstairs with daddy). Next minute one of our friends let's out a very bad swear word and suddenly the kid is on screen asking what it means. Then she told us we'd have to watch out language and we're having the rest of our boozy video call with a grumpy 5 year old. I don't mind saying hello but warn me FFS.

Tiddlywinksrus · 23/06/2025 07:04

I was thinking that I agreed with you then you went on a very weird tangent about blow jobs and kids booking taxis and now I think you might be batshit crazy 😂

Jamandtoastfortea · 04/10/2025 09:11

EveryOtherNameTaken · 22/06/2025 22:36

Being passed to 'say hello' to anybody is awkward and annoying. Just don't!

Absolutely - had an ex that would be out with colleagues drinking and would call me and do this. Wtf do you actually want me to say to steve from accounts?….

cobrakaieaglefang · 04/10/2025 10:15

I used to play a sport, it was adults level, one mum used to bring her kids to training every week. They squabbled, ran around where we were running, the coach had rather fruity language, there were constant, please watch your language comments from her..no, how about baby sitter or sorry can't do this until kids are older. The same reason I didn't do it when my kids were young.

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