To think it’s a little unfair although I can see the reasoning!?

[Inheritancequery1]

I am moving in with my partner. I live in Ireland and I get a small amount of benefits (less than €50 a week) I also have an element of extra tax credits so my pay is a little more than If I wasn’t single so I think the difference is about 40per week.

I am moving in with my DP (not dc’s dad) and so because of this I will loose about €90 per week. I know I know…i get the reasoning but it’s still hard to take a bit.

I will take home about 3100 per month (I can do OT to top up also) and dp’s is about 4100, he is very kind and we are paying pretty much half of everything except a few bills which he will pay so it will even it out. I can see I’ll be better off. But he’s not their dad and what if he wasn’t so kind about money? I’m sure there’s men out there who are not!

I do get what you’re saying OP. You’re saying you as a couple are now moving in together, but it’s not like he’s suddenly going to start going halves with you on school trips, uniform, snacks, presents for school friends birthday party’s etc. If he is then, great! But it’s an awkward conversation to have ‘do you realise you are now expected to provide for my children?’ All well and good most of the time but I imagine there are men who won’t or will be resentful. That said I do agree with the system, otherwise single mums who don’t have a partner would be worse off.

I most certainly do not don’t worry

Irish taxpayer here 👋

You seem very grateful to this man, but not grateful to the system that has subsidised you.

You’re in a home that you own with a net income of close to €90k a year. What more do you actually want?

I will take home about 3100 per month

You poor thing 🙄

So you lose around £300 a month. But your dp is going to pay a bit more as he has bigger wage?
What's your advantage? Bigger house, nicer area?

And I’m guessing you’re not including child benefit in your income calculation. It’s €140 a month per child, not capped or means tested.

I am very grateful to the system, I literally said about that in a post above. I’m extremely grateful that it was there when needed. I’m grateful to my DP in lots of ways, as is he to me.

No I didn’t include that.

Bigger house, new house, my own house so not renting.

How are you worse off?
You’ll be splitting bills instead of being solely responsible for bills. How are you worse off?

That’s why benefits go down/are removed and calculated differently for two adults, because you’re sharing the bills and you’re not solely responsible. If you met a man who expected you to pay for everything then you obviously don’t move in with him 🫤

Well yes I wouldn’t…but unfortunately you read these kind of situations on here all the time. I’M not worse off, but I’m sure some people are.

I genuinely do not understand this thread.
Good luck with the house move etc. Hope all goes well!

Stupid to say ‘he’s not their dad so what if he wasn’t nice about the money’ your relationship is optional, if he was an arsehole that didn’t want financial ties then you wouldn’t need to move in with him. It’s irrelevant to everyone that he’s not the DCs dad when you are moving in together, these are your life choices and it’s a positive change that’s totally fair. You could equally choose not to live together.

You're sounding a bit too grateful for what is essentially practical because he gets what he wants (living with you) and not really anything to do with being kind. Presumably there's a win here for both of you. Why else do it?

If you decide to live as a two income household, why should you get benefits that apply to a single income household?

It sounds like you want to gave your cake and eat it.

Well the initial realisation was…that’s a bummer I’m not gonna lie, but on looking at it no I don’t actually want/need it, I’m fine with it, it was there when I needed it and I don’t anymore so I won’t be claiming it anymore.

So…. What’s the point of this thread?