To be cut out of friend group by their boyfriend

[Sunnydaze22]

I have met up with a group of friends for years and was really good friends with one of them.

If I ever suggested another person coming along this friend would say they aren't part of the group so was shot down.

Anyway, she got a new boyfriend a couple of years ago and since then he's been invited to every meet up. To make matters very awkward he won't speak to me even small talk. Just turns away or outright ignores me!

I decided to slowly stop meeting them if he was invited (he always is) but have seen that this friend organised a lunch meet with two people but didn't put it in our group or invite me. Then a few weeks ago asked if we wanted to go out last night by the time I had a checked a few hours later if I was free I was told it was tough as she had booked tickets and of course her boyfriend was there.

I think seeing my 5 friends along with this bloke posting in the group chat has made me sad thag I feel pushed out and just really awkward around him.

On a weird note - she posted in the chat last week and tagged me saying I didn't want to hang out with them anymore which isn't true - I just don't want to hang around with her boyfriend . AIBU??

Just arrange your own meet ups with the others. Don't sacrifice your friendships with the others because of the one and her boyfriend.
I wouldn't dignify her with a response. Ny putting that into the group chat, tagging you and raising the issue openly, it has given you the perfect opportunity to just speak directly to the other friends and keeping those relationships going.

I've tried this with two, but they insist that the other friend has to be there as well (she's very much the alpha in that group) x

Sounds like very teenager behaviour. Time to move on. If they value you as a friend they wouldn't expect you to be uncomfortable (with the boyfriend being weird) to maintain a friendship with them, just not to enjoy the leader of the group. Sounds like a lot of drama that no one needs, adult friendships are equal and healthy. This doesn't sound that at all.

Can’t you organise a meet up that is more female focused so hopefully he won’t want to attend

We do!
Brunch
Tapas and wine tasting
Drinks
Girls night out

He came to them all!

You said that you decided to stop going if he was going, so it sounds like you’ve isolated yourself rather than been pushed out.

Does he ignore everyone or is it just you?

Make a group with the others and invite them to yours.
Exclude her and her boyfriend and move on.

Just message them individually and say it’s not you but the boyfriend is spoiling the dynamics for you and if they want to meet separately you would love that then just say X is the organiser so understand it’s her choice if her bf is involved but it’s not working for me and I really don’t want to lose you as my friend. I really hope we can meet up soon.

It sounds like you may be the only one who has a problem with the boyfriend being there? I would just leave the group to be honest, the others haven't responded to your offers to meet up so it's quite clear which side they've chosen.

Walk away. I couldn’t be friends with anyone who’d be described as an “alpha”, fuck that!

You've got nothing to lose! Tell the group that you've stopped coming because the bf makes you uncomfortable by being very rude, then politely bow out and leave the group chat.

I couldn't be arsed with this shit as an adult. This is one of the few good things about being an adult.