To think having friends of all genders is healthy

[Annettte]

This occurred to me as I was talking to a friend who's son recently did his 1st year at college. I know the young man in question & he's really blossomed since going away. After growing up shy and not fitting in, all boys school, very male environments he's now got a good circle, female as well as male. I've met men in their 40s who are clueless about how to relate to women. Some of them honestly seem terrified of women. I don't know why. Wouldn't the world be a better, more empathetic place, if we all knew each other a bit better?

I think you mean friends of both sexes? In which case yes, it’s a good thing.

Gender is stereotypical nonsense and should be avoided.

Ah, you meant "both genders". Yes, I agree. My DH and I, and our kids have always had friends of both genders.

Can’t agree more it is lovely to have friends of both sexes. I have seen this for both of sons in sixth form and uni and it is great.

Both sexes? Absolutely.

Some of them honestly seem terrified of women. I don't know why.

Dig a bit deeper. Parents give us our templates for relationships very early in life. If people find it difficult to relate to a particular sex it can mean something went wrong with that sex of parent early on.

Wouldn't the world be a better, more empathetic place, if we all knew each other a bit better?

Well, yes. But wouldn’t the world also be a better place if people like you weren’t judging others for their fears?

I've met men in their 40s who are clueless about how to relate to women.

Are you a woman? Maybe you could have been their first good experience if you’d had a little patience and empathy with them?

"all genders" - nope; I don't think my life is impoverished because I don't have any faegender friends

"Both sexes" - yes, for sure.

Two sexes, yes. Genders though, I mean it's going to be hard to find the two spirit penguin to complete the set.

Yes, I agree. (I have a couple of trans friends and a couple of 'I don't really know which gender I fit into so I eschew gender categories altogether' friends and let me tell you that is very healthy as well. Even if I don't always agree with them on detail.)

Why men only? What about the women who went to all girls schools? We have couple friends of both but I really don’t have any male friends of mine specifically. We socialise with lots of couples and some single friends I haven’t thought about it that deeply.

Both sexes, you mean.

Apart from a few couple friends with DH, I only have women* friends and don't see any problem with that. I'm very well rounded I can assure you.

*The vagina kind

Most sixth forms are co-Ed.

Every modern sports club I can think of welcomes both sexes. Every employer.

I have a male drinking buddy I've known for 40 years.

I don't see an issue.

All genders? There's only men and women.

Yes it's healthy to have friends of both sexes.

I grew up with a mix of male and female friends. Every male friend I had tried to get me into bed at some point or another so now I have only female friends.

I hardly think that makes me unbalanced or not well rounded. My experiences of male friendships have been less than stellar.

Absolutely. I have some great friends of both sexes - I think it's really important to be able to maintain platonic friendships with both men and women.

75 genders no.
Both sexes, yes.

I have enduring friendships with both sexes, as does DP. It's absolutely normal, I would have thought?

What about people who don't believe in genders?

I don't enjoy being around men as a sex in general, due to life experiences, so wouldn't be interested in finding one to be mates with. I'm certain that none are sad about that.

I think it's probably impossible to have friends of all genders nowadays!

I agree that it's probably good and healthy to have friends of both sexes.

Can we start an an app bit like Pokémon go to make sure we can collect them all?

I don’t know enough people to be friends with at least one of each gender. I could never be that popular, even if I had the time.

People who don't have male and female friends are weird..

Tells me they are excluding an entire category based on prejudice and stereotypes , instead of treating people as individuals. So weird, to put it nicely.

I agree. I don't think it's just men in their 40s who cannot relate or have a clue about how to interact with women, there are plenty a lot older than that.

Let me restate. I meant both sexes, not genders.

Yup, sadly my experience too. As a younger woman I could have superficial friendships with men, but that that vast majority of men only invested time in a deeper friendship with me if they were hoping to sleep with me. Once it became clear that wasn't going to happen, they lost interest.

So I'm a bit cynical about male/female friendships, but my teen DC do seem to have more genuine friends of both sexes, so it would be wonderful if attitudes are shifting.

One of the enjoyable things about middle age is being able to really enjoy men's company in a purely platonic way with no sense of having to be on my guard.