To want to just be left the fuck alone??

[ButteredRadishes]

I'm ill, hot, ratty, all touched and needed out!

I'm trying to lie down for a bit in the cool bedroom, with instructions to "LEAVE ME ALONE, Mum is ill"

It's been 20 minutes, the child had been in twice, DH has been in asking where some random items are. Then DD wants a cuddle. I suggest he takes her swimming and it's ..." oh aren't you coming?/mummy I want you to come".

Just all fuck offffffff.

I'm going to have to go out in my own in a bit, just to stop them harassing meeeeee.

💐

I hear you. I have 4 kids

Bless you, I hope you feel better soon.
It's like mums aren't allowed to be I'll or to rest when not well.

Is there anywhere you feel comfortable going where you can rest? Do you have any family/friends nearby where you can drop in for a few hours to get some sleep?

Your DH should be on top of this and be keeping the kids away so you can get a break!

Totally feel you. One of the reasons I divorced my husband was his total failure to step up in these situations and recognise I needed to not be "on call" all the time for everyone in the household.

It's excusable from a child. Why the fuck can't your husband manage it?

Call your DH into the bedroom and tell him in no uncertain terms that you need him to do the parenting right now.

Tell dh - I’m ill and going to bed - unless nuclear war breaks out I am not to be disturbed.

shut and lock the door and try and rest.

don’t engage until you have had a rest.

am sure he can manage for a couple of hours.

you and your health matter.

put yourself first fir a couple of hours .

When better add a lock to your bedroom door

Improved my sleep and health immeasurably

Now they have to knock
actually they’re mostly adults and moved out, but it’s been there for years

but I still lock the door when I want peace

in the meantime I’d suggest a loud “F off I’m ill”, or child appropriate swear words
or text OH exactly what you’d want to shout, in caps

I developed a tactic for this. It was either that or throw shit at them. I can't hand on heart say I mean metaphorical shit tbh.

any time I was disturbed while ill, I gave the disturber a task to do. Preferably horrible. Always urgent.

You need to clean down the u-bend of the loo type for my husband, deep cleaning of bedroom for sons.

Came in again - did you do X? no? why? when will you? oh, you also need to do Y.

Pretty soon, whenever I said don't disturb me, I was left undisturbed!

It's chapter 2 of my FAFO book. Chapter 1 was You Interfere, You Volunteer.

Give them horrible or boring tasks and nag the fuck out of them every time they come back in. Or do the whole oh while you're in here, please do/check/pass me...

You'll be left alone for so long you'll start to worry the zombie apocalypse happened while you were napping.

This is genius.

Barricade the door closed. I may have done this in the past.

It’s horrible.

I genuinely don’t remember harassing my mum like this when I was a kid. But my kids do it to me all day long. It’s so horrible.

They get loads of attention and positive reinforcement. It’s like they just can’t stand me having anything to myself, even if it’s just 20 minutes of peace.

’im going for a nap, when I wake up we’ll clean the house’ you’ll be left alone forever

I hear you. I've got 3 kids. 4, if you count the husband!

YANBU. I tried to have a twenty minute lie down earlier and exited the room after five (noisy) minutes to find my son, three cats and a dog (the dog isn't even mine) waiting for me pressed against the bedroom door while my husband was dealing with the baby's explosive poonami in her room.

Maybe you got told off strongly, rather than positive reinforcement, so that is why you didn’t disturb her.

I also don’t remember bothering my mum the way my dc do (well used to). @largeredformeplease

I do a similar thing to @Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast if they come in the bedroom I ask them to get me something that’s downstairs, or set a task for them to do something for me. Eg get a glass of water or something. Stops them wanting to bother me.

I also don’t mind telling dc and dh to go away. If they don’t go away, I tell them if I don’t get rest I’m going to be horrible for the rest of the day because I’m tired, so it’s up to you?

I do tell dc off for disturbing me at times. I try to teach empathy but that’s not a quick solution.

Dh knows I mean business after a couple of times I have hit the roof in similar circumstances. I now get plenty of un disturbed rest. He knows it’s either that or I turn into Ursula.

Your DH is a twat.

Mine are teens now so this might not work but I tell everyone I'm going to do a meditation so no interruptions please.

Chair under the door handle for now, add a lock when you’re better. Tear your husband a new arsehole.

Mine do this.

I can't even have a cup of tea without them wanting me.

I'll be working in my study, DH will be on his phone in the lounge and they'll come and ask ME. Always.

I swear men have invisibility buttons.

I am in awe!

can I have a copy of your book?

I remember shouting “12 minutes! The Archers is 12 minutes long. Is it too much to ask to be left in peace for 12 minutes?” one day. They all looked at me in amazement. But reader, I listened to the Archers in peace that day.

I hope you get some time to yourself later op. It’s a very stressful feeling.

This

not just the children
their teachers and reception staff too

many got the very curt response of ‘what?
I’m abroad, working.
Have you tried the parent in the UK, who in listed as first contact in all their documents?’

I had to bite my tongue not to add ‘I know he has a penis but…’

Pretend to be fast asleep