To not want my sister in my life for a while

[Bluegem7]

I ended a toxic relationship 6 months ago. We'd been on/off for years and I walked away before but got back together before finally accepting it was not what I wanted and walking away again. My sister who is very overbearing messaged me to say she'd been bumped into him and he really misses me etc. I asked her to please stay out of it and if she sees him again not to talk about me. She knows full well why I ended it. Anyway that same evening she phoned me to say she'd noticed a missed call off him so she rang back and they talked for one hour and twenty minutes about me and how he really loves me blah blah and how I should give him another chance. I'm furious she went against my wishes not to interfere and have told her I now need space to process it all. She did say sorry but it's difficult not to talk about me when it's the no. 1 conversation whenever she sees him and she only does it because she cares about me and then the pity play about her own problems. I just don't want her in my life at the moment. AIBU.

No YANBU.

Ghost her or tell her why, but cut her out. It's not a discussion, its not an opportunity for her to tell you anything. It's you making a decision and following it through.

Regardless her excuse for why she does it there was absolutely no reason whatsoever to respond to his missed call. That’s on her. She actively chose to call him then spent over an hour on the phone after being asked not to. Give it a few months and you’ll probably find out she’s dating him.

You must go no contact with her.

Oh and I agree with the poster above. She will end up offering herself as a nice substitute. She will end up with him all whild bleating she “meant well.”

You don’t talk for that long about your sister/ex.
He’s after her, and she’s interested.
Go LC with her and count your blessings that you got away from him. He’s trouble.

I agree with PP’s. She doesn’t respect you or your decision to leave him. She doesn’t have your best interests at heart. The only way she’d spend that long on the phone to him is if she’s getting something out of it.
That could be gossip or his side of the story to use against you or change your mind if she’s that interfering. Or it could be that she’s interested in him. You need to block her so you can properly heal.

She’ll be seeing him before you know it.

She's welcome!

YANBU tend to agree with others that actually what she wants is to become his confident and eventually end up with him. Its incredibly callous. You are right to protect your own peace.

Even if her motives ARE genuine, it doesn’t matter - you have said you don’t want to discuss this man, or for her to share information about you with him. It shouldn’t be too much to ask of your own sister.

Thank you. I'm ghosting at the moment because I don't know what to say. I told her I need space to process and after one week she messaged me "have you processed yet?" which felt a bit patronising. I'm nowhere near done processing or knowing how long I need. It's like she's trivialising what she did if she believes one week and it's all forgotten.