Worried about my adult son

[Oldlady62]

My son is 40 . Only child . Father deceased. Married with one child.
His wife is very jealous and possessive. He hardly sees his friends. My visits are restricted in various ways and vice versa. My feeling is she wants him all to herself.
He stays at home as househusband . Doesn't drive. They live in middle of nowhere so he stays at home 24/7. Child goes to school. He just sits in house.
Wife works. Goes and sees friends but resents him doing so.
I'm just very uncomfortable about his lifestyle. I can see he is mega depressed but what can I do ? I keep my mouth shut as I know my head would be bitten off if I said anything.

Can he not drive at all or just cannot right now? Did he work before the children? Why is she the sole earner if the child is school age? Have they always lived in this location or did they move?

Are you able to go over when wife is out and perhaps take him out for lunch? Or invite him to you? Get him talking and tell him how worried you are.

Take him out for lunch and talk to him.
Ask how he’s doing. Is he happy with the shape of his life? Is there anything you could do to make it better for him?

He’s a grown man. You can’t impose on him, only offer support if he wants it.

Does he not drive through choice?
Surely he can get a job that fits with school hours instead of sitting at home all day, or at least do some hobbies.
Did they both make a decision on where to live? Could they move somewhere that suits them all as a family?
I understand your worry, OP, but he is a grown man.

Why doesn’t he drive? Why are they living in the country if he doesn’t drive? Sounds like his work options would be limited anyway.

Funny how it’s always the wife’s fault.

I agree with PPs suggesting you find an opportunity to talk to him alone.

His wife wants to live there. She very and I mean very domineering.

I go and see him as much as I can . When I do he doesn't really talk. I think I'm just an escape for the day .
I think he's depressed but he poo poos idea.
I know he's a grown man but you never stop worrying about your kids.