AIBU to hate people popping over?

[Cookiecrumblepie]

I know some people love it. Friends and relies just popping in. I loathe it. I feel potentially it was more a thing of the past whereas nowadays people value their privacy and down time more? What’s the mumsnet consensus?
YABU - I like people popping over
YANBU - I hate it, people should ask first

Hate it. Partly because I’m in my own little world and a knock on the door immediately fills me with dread. My house is not ‘guest worthy’ (in fact I purposely invite a local friend over for a drink a couple times a month to motivate me to spruce it up). I’m sociable enough but need warning!

My in laws used to pop by unannounced at least once a week when fil was alive (mil only comes round occasionally now, must have been his idea)
Sil would also just turn up unannounced once every few weeks, really fucking annoying cos she's one of those people with only 1 germ in her house whereas mine is often chaos, so I was permanently feeling bad about the state of my house. My husband has managed to alienate his sister so she's only been round once in the last 5 years. Other than that no one ever pops round

Actually the other day my mil said she hated people popping by unannounced when her kids were young, especially if her house was a mess. I wanted to yell "YOU GUYS DID THAT TO ME NON STOP FOR THE 1ST 20 YEARS OF MY RELATIONSHIP!!!!" but of course i didn't

I’m not a fan at all… my DHs family is the worst for it (he hates it too). We love our ring doorbell as we just won’t answer the door if it’s not prearranged 😂

I don’t mind peaple popping in anytime but I would never pop to see any of them as I’m not a visitor at all .

I think its quite an old-fashioned village mindset that "popping in" is acceptable: it tends to assume that women in particular are occupied with domestic work during the day and not much else so they will be glad of the distraction.

I work 14 + hour days during the week and often have loads on at weekends so if people tipped up at my house it would very likely be quite disruptive. When you know people work and have children you can be fairly sure that downtime at weekends is precious so it's pretty selfish to assume they will be cooling their heels waiting for people to hang out with.

As a child our door wouldn’t even be shut. People’s would wander in . DM and friends would sit around drinking tea and smoking. DF would arrive home having walked 3 miles and worked 10 hrs. He would then wash all the cups up.

I am definitely not like my DM.

This.

Just inconsiderate.

Its personal preference, no right or wrong answer and neither the popperiners nor the arrange in advancers are unreasonable

Is someone trying to make out that you're wrong in some way?

I remember my parents making us hide when certain relatives 'popped' by on a Sunday afternoon! We used to bob down behind the chairs and under the windows. I can still hear my dad chucking and my mum shushing.. 😄

I just wonder if it something more of the past, where you would have a sahm that’s always available, or where there wasn’t a phone readily available etc so people would pop round to catch up. Whereas nowadays everyone is so busy, I find it a real inconvenience. I am so tired by the weekend I really need to rest and have peace.

Personally I wouldn’t just pop in, but if I was in the area I’d phone to see if the person was about and had nothing planned. I’d expect the same in return.

I haven’t voted either way because for me it really depends on who it is!

I think it’s the height of rudeness to just turn up unannounced. Even if I was just dropping something off, I would always ask first if it was ok.

My door is always open, neighbours, friends, family, anyone is free to pop in whenever they like. Kettle and food is always readily available. I was making tea last night with the door open, my 2yo DS playing in the front garden with neighbours DC, my neighbour bringing me some pots and pans over and staying for a coffee, my DSis and new partner called in to show us her new dress and everyone stayed for tea, typical day in my house. I grew up in a house polar opposite to this and hated it. I love the hustle and bustle of a busy house. Feels loving and accepting. But I clearly live like its 1950 😅 I even had my apron/pinny on yesterday which everyone commented on haha

I love it - but my house is always in a decent state, and I'm not afraid to say if it isn't convenient. I only have people who live in the same town popping in though, not people travelling a long way.

I only pop in on my immediate neighbours - and only neighbours who are also 'poppers in'.

I hated it. It was a common situation when I was growing up and I remember every weekend running around trying to tidy up as the guests were coming through the door. Before we moved, in laws had a key to the house so would turn up and let themselves in. It really used to tick me off as I never knew when they would turn up. One time the doorbell rang and when we answered, there were my in laws and overseas visitors on the doorstep and we were just about to sit down for lunch! No idea they were coming. So awkward. The overseas visitors were mortified and as they left apologised, which I was sad and annoyed as it wasn’t for them to apologise.
Now we have moved further away they can’t get to us by transport so we always know when they and others are coming. Thank goodness