To wonder if I was correct?

[Wishiwasawag]

So, my ex (I absolutely hate him and he is horrible to me for no apparent reason) will not have the kids every other weekend as it doesn’t suit him. He says he really doesn’t care what I do but I can’t think of any other reason why he wouldn’t agree to every other weekend other than to be spiteful. He is with somebody new now and they seem quite happy. A month after we split, he took them abroad with his new woman and her child to see his parents abroad. My daughter passed out on the plane for some reason on the way there and I wasn’t told until she came back home, he is now saying he wants to take her abroad again but she really doesn’t want to go (I think due to the plane issue) not entirely sure but he said she doesn’t have a choice (she is 8). I told him that she absolutely does have a choice and a voice.

My youngest is 5 and he wants to go bless him.

Do you have the passports? “Lose them”.

I do yes.

This might feel like a pragmatic solution but it will cause issues down the line. You’re not unreasonable and you need to advocate for your daughter.

If he can't be bothered with his own DC on a regular basis that's his choice.

Equally it's your choice to have a say in their lives and if you feel that your DD doesn't want to go then she doesn't get forced to go.

Is it to see his parents again.

He needs to realise he doesn't get to waft in and out of their lives when it suits him.

No, I think they are going somewhere different this time and they might enjoy it to be honest but I just thought he cannot force her to go if she doesn’t want to. Long gone are the days where children are ‘seen and not heard 🙄’

You've phrased your AIBU in a really convoluted way so that either vote could be seen as either supporting you or not. YABU for that.

YANBU to say your 8yo has a choice. If he's not seeing them regularly and is not a part of their day-to-day life it's not hard to understand that he's going to stop being someone that DD feels safe and comfortable with. Tell him that if he succeeds in getting a court order that says that he's allowed to force a child who doesn't want to come, which will include you telling the court about how he doesn't want to see them regularly or be involved in their lives and telling them about her illness last time, and if the court thinks he's being reasonable then you'll comply but nothing short of a court order will make you agree.