Marriage counselling

[Onecanonlyhope]

Has anyone been, if so, did it help?

How does it work?

Can’t imagine driving there together, then home afterwards

Just not sure how this could be solved, too many problems and resentments etc etc

Go for it.
time to air exactly what’s on both your minds.
who knows ?

There’s a series on iPlayer called Couples Therapy. It will give you a good idea.

I know a couple who did it and are still
together, and appear to be happy more than a decade later. And I’d have said they had no chance whatsoever; took some work but I think they were both prepared to put in the hard yard.

I worked at Relate (in office admin) for many years and saw many people come through the system. Some people thrived on being given the opportunity to air their feelings in a safe space, and they blossomed and came through it better for it.
For some people it was the kiss of death and only confirmed that they needed to be apart.
I think counselling can work if you are both committed to it.
I used to like it when I would see couples leave the building on our CCTV camera ... and see them hug... and it was heartwarming.

I did but it is not necessarily meant to fix the marriage, rather to provide clarity. In our case it did force things out in the open. It became very clear that he was smitten with another woman, and no longer cared about me. I wised up enough to seek legal advice and 'get my ducks in a row' instead of flogging a dead horse. In that sense, it was helpful.

Did it many years go, in our case u would say both people have to be fully invested to attending and committed to doing the homework task (a conversation about something that has come up that week using the tactics you kearn in session) otherwise it is pointless. It also is not beneficial if there is anything abuse at all, any emotional abuse etc.

In my experience it was pointless as he was abusive, he acted a certain way in tbe appointments, refused to do the homework but blamed me, and used what I shared in the session against me to blame me for everything.

However a very close friend of mine and her husband did it. It strengthen their marriage they understood each other more, they continue to use the skills they learnt years later. They said every couple should do it to strengthen communication and understanding jn a couple. I definitely agree with them! Just not in my situation.

I chose not to do it because I knew my marriage was over and I wasn’t fully committed to it. It felt like flogging a dead horse. I think for it to be helpful you both have to be want it to be, if that makes sense.