Hating how you look

[Kipperpig]

I used to be relatively attractive- tall and skinny with long blonde hair, got a lot of attention from men and older women telling me I could be a model.

Now I‘m 40, put on a bit of weight (still slim but not skinny). A random mole has decided to let it’s presence known on the end of my nose.

I see photos of myself and don’t recognise myself. I know I can’t go back to the golden years. But how do I accept this is what I look like now?

I know this thread is disgustingly self indulgent, but I could never voice these concerns in real life.

Well there's been plenty of threads on this subject before OP.

And generally the feeling is getting older is harder for women who have been extremely attractive than for those of us who have always had more average looks.

I'm sure when you look in the mirror you are noticing changes in yourself that others are oblivious to. But just because you dont look the same as when you were younger it doesnt mean to say you aren't still attractive.

Sorry - off topic-ish but you’ve had the mole checked haven’t you?

You just have to accept it. I've always been a bit of a munter, so had no looks to lose. Ive had to accept a load of new aches and pains instead, when my body always worked perfectly well before.

Apart from the mole what other changes have you noticed? And how old are you in the photos you are looking back on? A little weight gain wont suddenly make you unattractive

40 is when I looked at photos of myself and went 😱but I tried to be kind to myself as I had 2 young dcs.

Now in my late 50s, how I wish I could go back to looking as I did at 40. The march of time is relentless.

You have to accept you are not the babe in the room anymore. If people are looking at you, they might be looking at the girl behind you.

I'd strive for looking attractive, rather than wow. You could if you want lose weight, spruce up your wardrobe, work on skincare and make up. Some people opt for botox and fillers - personally I stay away for them but it is up to you. Botox isn't bad but fillers are falling out of fashion.

It is wonderfully liberating to be invisible. Very occasionally, I might get a genuinely admiring glance because of an outfit I am wearing. It is not leery and gives me a nice feeling.

I feel the same. I’m 38 and aged massively. I’m covered in cellulite now. Everything I put on to wear I hate. My shape has changed and I look so much older than all the other school mums.
I have started to work on myself in last few months. I also had very long blonde hair. I’ve now started growing it again and using new products like hair masks and oils. This has had a huge boost for me. It’s a little bit of my old self I can see. Other simple things like painting my toes and using teeth whitening products has helped too.

I felt similarly, OP. Fat, bucked teeth, thick glasses.

Then I thought sod this - I lost 4 stone through dieting, paid for braces, laser eye surgery and took up running alongside weight training.

I still don't think I'm particularly attractive but I'm happier now and look the best I can ever look.

OP, if a random mole has appeared at the end of your nose, you need to see your GP and get it checked.