Does your husband talk to you?

[dietmonkey]

DH constantly putting stuff on TV. I would like a date night where we just chat. Tried tonight to have a chat. He’s not interested. Couldn’t wait to put a comedian on. Doesn’t have sex with me either.,

He’s just not that into you

What does he say when you initiate sex?

I don’t initiate any more. Absolutely pointless

He's completely disengaged.

Nope and that is just one of the many reasons I am divorcing him.

Yeah. I think so. Such a shame. Been together 17 years and we are best mates.

Do you have things in common? Shared interests, sense of humour?

I definitely noticed we wanted to talk less as my husband was detaching.

We do. But I think he’s bored of me.

Has he always been like this?

Best mates who don’t talk?

Is this out of character behaviour, and if so, have you asked him if he’s ok? It’s known most men struggle to open up, so you may not get far with that, but if you sat him down for a serious talk, will he be responsive to that approach?

You describe him as your best friend which is usually the sign of a good relationship which is why I ask if this is a new dynamic between the two of you.

Yes, we chat all the time and do lots together. The evenings are light, can't you go for a walk together or have a game of cards or sit and do a crossword in the garden. Nothing exciting, just general hanging out together. What about the weekends, do you do stuff together then?

Is there any day to day chit chat that just comes from living with each other?

Tell him how you're feeling, you cannot spend the rest of your life talking to a wall.
If he cares. He'll make the effort to change, otherwise life is to short, he can sit in silence somewhat else.

No, not really, it’s very lonely

Its easy to be in the habit of TV in the evening and it can feel a but stilted to try and just sit and talk.

Try doing an activity. Like a cheese or chocolate foudue you can chat over? Bake something together? If you don't have to stay in the house for small kids go for an evening walk together? It would be a lovely way to make the most of these summer evenings

Over dinner, whilst walking loads

T.V time tends to be quiet and decompression time

Have you tried talking to him about that?

I would say to him or do an activity together like a garden or canoeing, anything really so you can try and chat.

Mine does chat to me - married 25 years though sometimes has his phone. Today first thing we chat about is the cat waking us up for tuna. Then we chat about plans for the day. Then DH gets things shopping and messages me what he's got. Then we go out to a party together and mainly chat about the food. Then go in car for a meal out and on way see an air display so chat about that. At meal we mainly chat about the meal. Then come back home and go in garden with our chickens and chat about the chickens and our son and daughter.

Nope.....I was called a cunt earlier because I asked him to get his daughter ready for her hobby and haven't spoken to him since.....common theme nowadays. He commendeers the living room watching tv whilst I do everything (his excuse is that he works all week) well newsflash.....so do I! Just because it's "office work" that doesn't apparently count. I literally hate men....the older I get the more I hate them!

Dh and I have been together for 23 years and we did drift apart there for a while. We had a chat about it and we both still loved each other and wanted to make it work. We started going on dates again, making an effort to go for walks together, basically things where there was no distractions. It really, really helped. We have always gotten along so well but somewhere along the way life kind of took over and we just needed time to reconnect.

If you both still love each other(and like each other) talk to him about it, see if he is willing to put in the effort with you to get you both back on track.

We've been together over 30yrs and both like our quiet times in the evening. We also have some mad nights where we stay up far too late and put the world to rights. In the last year we have had 'date nights'- well annual leave off work in the afternoon to go out for lunch/drinks and come home before adult DS gets in and have the house to ourselves for a couple of hours! Love good food and far too much wine mostly but still like the same music etc so bond/chat over this and make time to go to gigs just the 2 of us and stay away overnight in a hotel a few times a year. Do you ever think what attracted you to each other in the first place? You can go back to the initial attraction even when you are old grey and mostly knackered. We were 21 when we met and now 50's - been through loads of trials and tribulations but we both see each other as eternally 21.