3 month old bed time 😲

[dontcomeatme]

Okay I'll be honest I'm completely winging life with second DS, he's 13 weeks old, EBF and I have a just turned 2 year old, who is feral, if that's relevant. I've just seen a "recommended routine" for 3 month old babies online and it has structured naps and a set bedtime between 6 and 8pm 😬 I'll be perfectly frank, I often fall asleep with him cluster feeding on the settee and we may go up to bed around 10pm?? Am I an awful mam? If I put him to bed at 6 he would be up again in 2 hours starving! He takes a huge feed and sleeps 10pm till 3/4amish currently.
Even his day time looks absolutely nothing like this, and I know it's an "example", but is anyone else's routine with their baby actually like this? AIBU to think this is either bonkers or PFB vibes? Or do I need to get my finger out my arse and put him to bed 🤦🏻‍♀️ his brother goes to bed strictly for 7pm and then I'm lying feeding till our bed time.

Mate, screw the routine, sur ival is where it's at. Do not fall asleep on the couch with your baby though it's a massive sids risk

Feed baby when they want feeding, put baby to sleep when they're tired, screw routine at that age. Although I echo above, stop falling asleep on the sofa with baby, it's incredibly dangerous, you'd never forgive yourself if you woke up to your baby not alive anymore. If you struggle with staying awake, have someone with you or sit in a chair that you won't fall asleep in.

It's not a recommended routine for all 3 months old. It's one of the many potential routines recommended for the parents who want one for there 3 months old.

You do you.

As far as I remember the words routine and 3 month old do not belong in the same sentence 🤣

@Sahara123This is my thinking too 😅

Just to clarify sorry, yes I doze while he's on the boob, but we're half lying/half sitting in a safe position and chair and my OH sits with us so we're safe, that's our time as the 3 of us, when I'm not supposed to be dozing at all 😅

Hahahahaha at that routine.

My baby is 12 weeks old, and unless something very dramatic happens, that schedule is not happening. For a start, his first nap is usually about four hours long, which is more than the entire nap allowance they’ve given for the whole day… 😂

He does have a bath and “join in” the bedtime routine with my older two, but then usually still cluster feeds for an hour or two before conking out.

I could only dream of a routine like that. Survival is the best you can hope for.

@Ohnowayexactly this 😅 my DS wakes up on a morning and seems exhausted so sleeps half the day away haha

Love doing the routine with my 2YO and baby it's so cute, we have bath and stories and bed cuddles etc. But then it's downstairs to feed him and stuff my own face haha x

My 4th child is 14 weeks old and I've no such routine. He naps a few times during the day and generally (only in the last few weeks) falls asleep anywhere between 8pm to 10pm for the night. Also I can't leave him unattended as he has a habit of choking randomly. Your not a bad mam. All babies are different, and normally difficult

3 month old, bed time? Don't remember that being a thing. She slept when suited her, off and on throughout the day. I slept whenever I could, mainly in annoyingly fragmented chunks through the night.

I find this kind of strict routine to be quite outdated now. It certainly wasn’t the way I raised mine when they were babies.

You’re not a bad mum, you’re certainly not doing a bad job!! My youngest is 3mo and doesn’t follow a structured routine. My eldest wakes her up at 7ish when he comes into our room, then she sleeps when she’s tired, feeds when she’s hungry and bops about with us the rest of the time. Bedtime is a little more routine I guess because of my eldest’s routine, but whether she’s in her cot for the night by 8 or by 10 varies day by day!

Exactly! This one seems unwilling to spend too much time awake yet (who can blame him when there are two older ones wreaking havoc?) and I’m not about to start waking him up! During his cluster feeds I mainly make polite requests diva demands to have cups of tea delivered by my husband and I really enjoy the lazy time. 🤫

That “routine” just sounds designed to make good mums (and dads) feel guilty! Every baby is different.

Both of mine had routines similar to this from when they were a few weeks old. Awake at 7am, napped in the morning, big nap 1-3pm, cat nap 5ish when they were really tiny. Bed at 7-7:30pm.

But I was formula feeding, which I think is easier in terms of knowing exactly how much milk they’ve had and therefore how long they might go till the next feed - and to therefore get into a regular routine if that’s what you want. I don’t think it’s as it easy (or even possible?) to do this with an EBF baby. You just do what works for you and don’t worry about it.

Lol. People just try to make money from writing shit on the Internet. Parents are sleep deprived so they'll Google this stuff and read it and feel bad and keep clicking on related content and seeing whatever ad comes on so whoever wrote that shit makes some money.

3 month old and routine 😅 🤣

Tell me you've never had a baby without telling me you've never had a baby.

I think back to the early days with my DS with sadness in some ways. I was so sleep deprived and reading these routines made me feel totally totally hopeless. I blame it for my PND

Ignore it. You do you. Xx

@Ohnowaydiva demands 😅 stealing that haha x

@YellowGigi889hhaha it's always those who've never even been around children in their life who have the biggest opinions 😅 x

@DueyCheatemAndHowI'm so sorry crap like this on the Internet made you feel worse 😔 hope you feel better now, I totally get it though. When I read that today I instantly thought oh my goodness I'm a shit mam ! Shocking really x

They don't read the books, and if you find a routine which works for you, that's fine. I can't remember exactly what mine did at what age, but it definitely wasn't what the books said. At whatever age they're supposed to have 2-3 short naps a day, she had one 3 hour nap. It seemed to work, and it meant I got a decent stretch of time when I could nap too, or get something done without interruption. She also liked to tank up in the evening, through to about 8/9 months, and went to bed about 10pm. That fitted far better with our lives than an early wake-up, although it did mean it was a while before I could return to doing anything out of the house in the evening.

What a load of shite 😅 DD came up to bed whenever I went to bed. She would nap/feed on me whilst I chilled on the sofa like you say. I thought the advice now is not to have them sleep in a room by themselves for the first 6 months anyway? So was the author of this routine just sat in the corner of a dark room all evening so baby could have a proper bedtime?

@CathmawrI just said this to OH, if I'm putting DS to bed at 7pm which one of us is sitting up there in the dark watching him 😅 how ridiculous haha x

I mean an 8pm feed and bedtime isn’t 6pm? 8-6am with feeds in between sounds fairly normal. My first probably went down around then most of the time by 3 months, the second didn’t for longer as they had colic.
Surely by your second baby you know it depends the child and some random “routine” you seen from a single person on the internet doesn’t mean anything?

Very ridiculous! That evening sofa time was very important for my mental health. And prime time for hanging out with DH (and getting him to fetch me never ending snacks) after wrangling a 3 month old solo all day 🤣

It’s fine to put your 3 month old down for an hour or two in another room with a baby monitor on. Some of these perspectives are insane.