Toxic school gate?

[JollyAquaMaker]

We moved to the northeast last year and it’s been really hard for me and ddx2 to all to settle in after a divorce/house move etc. We had a lovely community and group of wider friends at the last school down south but couldn’t afford to stay in the area so had to move closer to family for support. Thing is I feel like we’ve landed in a really toxic school community and considering even moving schools over it - one person in particular who says all sorts and no parents ever speak back / if anything they seem to enjoy hearing about it. Ive heard her at the school gate and kids parties and in cafes badmouthing parents and kids from the school she’s a headteacher at. If it was my dd’s headteacher I’d be really sad if she was talking about me or my dd like that. Things like saying how relieved she was to finally expel a kid she hated, how kids who don’t behave properly in mainstream need expelling not ehcps, ridiculing one parent for having Botox, speaking very negatively about benefits claimants. The list goes on. I’ve previously been too stunned to speak when she starts going but feel like I should maybe say something? Or should I let her bad vibes come back to bite her in time?

She sounds so unprofessional! You could consider moving schools if your dds are unhappy. You could name change and ask on here which schools have a friendly community.

If it were me I’d have to say something. It is possible to break up group dynamics if one person stands up. It’s hard though if you are en entire newcomer into a community. A lot depends on how close knit the school community is and the place generally (is it a village for instance where everyone is a local and you are not). Almost certainly others find her toxic and unpleasant but it could misfire if you read it wrongly.

If she’s a headteacher she shouldn’t be talking like that! I’d be contacting the governors or her school/ OFSTED

I agree with this! Definitely let them know

I don’t know how to report her as it’s not serious safe guarding issue, just a headteacher being very unprofessional. If I do report her to the governors, I’d need to provide my name and ideally ask other mums who’ve been there when she’s making these statements to provide back up. As the newcomer in the community I’ll just get ignored and then labelled as a trouble maker. Feels like I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.

Sounds really toxic and I’d be tempted to move schools over that.

I used to work in schools and some are like this, sadly. I’ll let you guess whether or not those schools have happy outcomes.

Just be careful you don’t move to her school..!!

You're considering taking your children out of their school, because you don't like what some adults are saying at the school gate?

Catch yourself on.

This is your children's domain, not yours.

If it ever affects them (although I can't see why it would) then consider moving them.

But otherwise it's ridiculous.

Thing is I feel like we’ve landed in a really toxic school community a

no Op, you have not landed in a “really toxic school community” 🙄

let me guess, you have quite a history of dramas and spats with people?

Wouldn’t it be funny if you did withdraw your child, and the school allocated was the school she is head teacher at! 😆

I think I know the headteacher you’re talking about. Does her surname begin with a C?