Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make life easy for myself this summer and keep youngest dc in childcare?

27 replies

cheeseandpasta · 21/06/2025 17:59

I am a teacher so have gone for term time only childcare. I had my first child January 2021, and so he started nursery just after Christmas 2022. First summer we had together was really nice. I had my DD August 2023, so for the last two weeks of term DH was on paternity leave anyway. Last year was really, really tough. I struggled a lot over the summer.

This year DS starts school and I’m considering switching DD to a year round contract. I just wonder genuinely what the point is in having a stressful and difficult summer when for three days a week she could continue going to nursery, and I can focus on DS a bit before he starts school.

The cost of it does make me feel bad but I also feel a bit mean. Wondering what others think.

OP posts:
MamaGarl85 · 21/06/2025 18:03

I think if you can afford it, go for it!

SilviaSnuffleBum · 21/06/2025 18:06

Will you be able to have a decent amount of one to one time with your daughter, as seems a bit unfair to send her off 3 mornings a week just to be with your son?

lanthanum · 21/06/2025 18:10

Nothing wrong with creating some time to spend one-to-one with the older one.
If your nursery offers both full-year and term-time only contracts, you might also chat to them about whether there's any halfway house, whereby your little one could just go a couple of days a week over the summer, on a more pay-as-you-go basis. If you can be flexible about days, they might be delighted to have her on the days when it works best for their ratios. Their numbers are bound to fluctuate while people are going on holiday.

User37482 · 21/06/2025 18:11

Yeah do it, my relationship with my DD improved when we weren’t together 24/7. I had much more patience.

PicaK · 21/06/2025 18:11

Consistency for her, bit of 1:1 time with you. Can you put him in a few days so YOU get some chill out time too.

Skybluepinky · 21/06/2025 18:15

Nothing like making one child think that you don’t want them around, prime candidate for needing CAHMS when they are older. Why have children if you can’t cope with them.

MamaGarl85 · 21/06/2025 18:16

Skybluepinky · 21/06/2025 18:15

Nothing like making one child think that you don’t want them around, prime candidate for needing CAHMS when they are older. Why have children if you can’t cope with them.

And you think a 2 year old will come up with that?!

JustGoClickLikeALightSwitch · 21/06/2025 18:17

Skybluepinky · 21/06/2025 18:15

Nothing like making one child think that you don’t want them around, prime candidate for needing CAHMS when they are older. Why have children if you can’t cope with them.

Yes, the nearly two year old will absolutely glean this. Alack, alas.

Do it OP. Summer is long, you’ll be a better parent with a bit of breathing space built in.

TheSlantedOwl · 21/06/2025 18:22

Skybluepinky · 21/06/2025 18:15

Nothing like making one child think that you don’t want them around, prime candidate for needing CAHMS when they are older. Why have children if you can’t cope with them.

Don’t be so daft.

OP go ahead.

Original poster
cheeseandpasta · 21/06/2025 18:25

Thanks. I suppose my thinking is that DD had a lot of one to one time throughout my maternity leave and then she will again in September. So this is kind of my last chance to have some one to one time with DS. It isn’t forever but right now it is a bit difficult managing them both, they are just at very different stages at four and a half and two. At five and a half and three it won’t be as marked I don’t think. I do feel guilty though!

OP posts:
HiRen · 21/06/2025 18:50

I don’t get the one to one time thing Confused. You are a family of four (or three). It’s not your family life to carry on as though you have two, only-children. It’s your family life to carry on as though you are a mother of two, and each child has a sibling.

I totally get keeping the youngest in childcare so your life is easier, or because she enjoys it, or to hold onto the spot etc.

Original poster
cheeseandpasta · 21/06/2025 19:04

Because sometimes older children like to do things little ones can’t, and vice versa

OP posts:
stichguru · 21/06/2025 19:21

Provided you daughter is generally happy in childcare do it.

Your daughter

  • doesn't get a big gap in childcare and then have to resettle in September
  • doesn't get dragged to do things that her older brother wants to do, that are too hard or not interesting for her

Your son gets time to do some things with mummy that his sister wouldn't enjoy yet.
You get some time to focus on your son and do things with him that you daughter can't manage or wouldn't enjoy.
You all win. It's not like you'll never get time altogether or your daughter will be in childcare full time all summer.

Everydayimhuffling · 21/06/2025 19:29

YANBU. Mine were in year round because their nursery didn't do term time only. It was really nice to have time to myself and later 3 days a week in the summer before school with DC1.

I think it helped keep my sanity when I had a 3.5 year old and a 2 year old who didn't sleep. And later when I had a 4.5 year old and a 3 year old who still didn't sleep! Take the help you can get.

Sassysoonwins · 21/06/2025 19:37

Do it and enjoy the time with your other one for those short periods. Nurseries are set up with all the activities and built in little friends you can't possibly replicate at home.

LilacPony · 21/06/2025 19:39

I did it!

1AngelicFruitCake · 21/06/2025 19:45

I think do what works well for your family. I never did that, also a teacher, because I wanted to be with them both, no matter how hard it was. But maybe I could have done with making it easier!

susisihsbebsb · 21/06/2025 20:07

Her attendance isn't compulsory even if you switch her to a year round contract. If you wake up one morning and fancy taking them both to the beach or the zoo, just say she's not coming in that day.

The summer holidays are only a few weeks long, if she's settled at nursery and enjoys it I don't see an issue.

Bearbookagainandagain · 21/06/2025 20:12

I think it's fine, at 2 they don't really notice anyway.

I wouldn't do this to my 3 yo as he would definitely mind / notice it. So I agree it's kind of your last chance.

HowYouLikeMyStyle · 21/06/2025 20:19

HiRen · 21/06/2025 18:50

I don’t get the one to one time thing Confused. You are a family of four (or three). It’s not your family life to carry on as though you have two, only-children. It’s your family life to carry on as though you are a mother of two, and each child has a sibling.

I totally get keeping the youngest in childcare so your life is easier, or because she enjoys it, or to hold onto the spot etc.

Just because you have more than one DC it doesn't mean they have to be glued together at all times. It's actually very healthy for children to experience some times where things are focused on them.

Go for it, OP. I also think it's easier to keep to a routine at that age than have a long break and then restart nursery.

KeenGreen · 21/06/2025 20:26

We working in education, When my DS was in nursery he was term time only. We would book extra ad hoc days in the summer holidays. Mostly so we could do jobs around the house which needed two people like DIY and so it wasn’t such a big break. He’d do maybe 4 days total in 2 days blocks so it wasn’t such every couple of weeks.

I’d go for booking some ad hoc days rather than switching to year round fully.

RobinHeartella · 21/06/2025 20:33

I have a similar situation to you, I'm a teacher with a primary age dc and toddler. I'm part time with my toddler in year-round nursery.

So in term time I have 1-1 time with the toddler 2 days, and in the holidays I have 1-1 time with dd 3 days. It's fair and works great.

I'm also putting her into a club for a couple of days per month when ds is in nursery just so I have a total break.

If you burn out you'll be no use to anyone, so arrange things so you can get a break.

Zanatdy · 21/06/2025 20:38

If you can afford it, why not. It’s a long time for them to be off nursery, and my youngest especially would have struggled with the change of routine and struggled to settle back in. I did leave her in nursery some days in summer hols when I was on leave if I wanted to take DS up to London to do something that would be hard with a toddler / baby in tow.

LemonyPicket · 21/06/2025 20:41

Skybluepinky · 21/06/2025 18:15

Nothing like making one child think that you don’t want them around, prime candidate for needing CAHMS when they are older. Why have children if you can’t cope with them.

Congratulations I think you win the award for the most ridiculously hyperbolic thing I’ve ever read on mumsnet. Have a biscuit

stargirl1701 · 21/06/2025 20:43

I did. I had to pay for the place anyway. It’s better for young children to stay in their routine.