4th child and trying to hide my pregnancy

[RemmieJane]

Hi this is my first time posting and honestly don't know where to start I am 28 i have 3 kids already to my previous relationship that ended pretty badly my youngest is now 6 and i am now happily engaged in a very healthy relationship and just found out i am pregnant with my 4th child (a complete surprise after trying for my first 3) my current partner is over the moon as this will be his first baby and he will be able to experience the pregnancy/labour parts that he hasn't experienced before here is where i may be over reacting! everytime I have tried to tell my family about my being pregnant I have been met with "waw are you sure you want to do this?" And worst from my mum who has 5 kids "you do realise kids are just a huge burden you could have such a good life if you would just stop having more" this has always put a huge damper on my pregnancies in the past and I just want to enjoy it this time around I have told my partner he is more than welcome to talk to his family about it (our family's live far apart so they don't see each other and there is no risk of them finding out through his family) but I would very much like to keep this away from my family for as long as I can potentially until after the birth AIBU in keeping this from my family? Has anyone else done this and how did it go? Any advice would be hugely appreciated pic of baby scan

unfortunately family or not people will always have their opinions and there’s nothing you can do about that. The only thoughts and actions you can control in life are yours. So long as you’re not harming anyone and looking after the children then it’s no one’s business how many children you choose to have. You might find that your family are pleased about baby no 4 and may feel hurt that they were kept in the dark about things and unable to share the journey with you. Take care, hope all goes well.

I wouldn’t keep it secret, that may be very challenging, especially if you need support.

Perhaps tell them not in person? Would that be easier.

Congratulations OP. It’s not viable to hide it forever of course but there’s no obligation to tell anyone until you’re ready. Enjoy the pregnancy with your partner and don’t think about anyone else

I have four although all grown up now and we had negative comments especially with the third and fourth, who to be fair weren't planned and we weren't really in a good position to have especially the third. Looking back I can see how recklessly daft we really were to have four in seven years. ( not saying you are ! ) .However it all works out fine. I would just ignore any negativity. As long as you and your partner are happy that's all that matters.

Personally I’d send a message out phrased in a way that doesn’t invite opinions.

DP and I are thrilled to announce that a new addition will be joining our family in [Month]. I’m sure you will join us in celebrating this exciting time for our family when baby arrives.

or something similar. Any negativity would be shot down with we were letting you know for your congratulations not criticism or opinion.

Didn't get any criticism for any of our 4 just love and support from all family both sides and friends although we have been married a while and it went 1 then huge gap and now 3 under 3 lol but loving it