To ask about moving baby to own room…

[poppyparenting]

DD is 7.5m and outgrown her bedside crib. I didn’t feel ready to move her to her own room so DH has moved the cot into our room today. Now it’s in there it’s taken up more space than I imagined and I feel a bit as though we should’ve just left it as it was. I have had everyone tell me that she should just go into her own room, for the sake of our space, her independence, us not disturbing each other and lots of other reasons. DM reckons it will be harder to move her the later we do it and more upsetting for her.

I’d say she is a good sleeper, wakes once or twice a night on average but does sometimes sleep through. When she wakes she has a feed and I don’t like to get out of bed to do it. I also can’t imagine her being in a different room. When she wakes up she looks for us and I think doesn’t immediately cry and just coos to herself instead because she can see we are there. In contrast after she wakes up after a daytime nap she will sometimes cry.

Am I being OTT and do I just need to rip the plaster off and do it? I know the guidance is 6 months as a minimum and our room back would be nice on one hand but I’ve mixed feelings and don’t know even more now DH has gone to the hassle of dismantling and putting back together the cot. He is happy with whatever I would prefer to do but has said if it was totally his decision he would say why not her room because she needs to sleep there at some point

I initially thought we’d move her at more like 9.5-10 months so just before I go back to work but maybe this is excessive, I am not sure

Thank you in advance

Do what YOU feel comfortable with. Everyone has their own opinion about stuff like this but it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks - do what is best for DD and for you. If you think she is better being in your room with you - and she isn't disturbing your sleep to the extent it's impacting your day to day life - I'd carry on with her in the room with you. My DS is 7 months and I have no intention of leaving him in his own room yet, I just don't feel ready to and I don't think I'd sleep well without him in the room as I'd be worrying!

I think you do what suits you best. 6 months is a minimum for safety, not a deadline. As long as you manage the transition, it doesnt matter if you do it at 7 months or 17 months old. Ours were toddlers before they moved out of our room because it was just easier, and the transition wasnt particularly hard.

Do what feels right for you don't listen to anyone else. There is no optimum time to move her. Some babie stay in the same room as their parents until they are a year or later.
I am from a very different generation from you but I was in the same room as my parents until I was 5 because there wasn't space for me to have a separate room.
It hasn't scarred me in the slightest and I can't remember moving out of their room so it can't have been traumatic or difficult

Our stay in our room until toddlers. It was absolutely fine moving them to their own room.

Do what you are happy with.

Mine moved to their own room at 3 months, we were keeping each other up 😂. In the UK, I think advice is 6 months.

They are only little for a little while, I promise you when they start primary school, no one will ask or care how long they were in your room for, and if you pureed or baby led weaned. No one will care, so ignore the comments for now.

I have three kids.
One is asleep next to me at 4 months old. My older two shared my bed for a year and 18 months - both moved into a bed with minimal fuss (my son used to come in my bed on a morning for a while) despite every one bleating on about me making a rod for my own back... do what you feel comfortable with and ignore every one else.

If You have a baby that sleeps pretty well then don’t change a fucking thing!

Our eldest was in our room till she was around 2. We did try & move her out but she was a rubbish sleeper and we needed sleep for work! Even then she regularly ended up in our bed - she could by stealth sneak in without waking us.

My second happily moved into her own room at 6 months old. Never had slept with us - even when she is poorly she will come up wake me and then we go back to her room.

Do what works for you and the little one.

There's really no harm in trying and if you don't feel comfortable then bring her back in your room. I only say this because we moved my son when he was 7 months, I really really didn't want to but he'd also outgrown his bed side and the cot wouldn't fit in here, and oh my god he loved it! I still miss him being in here but I think he sleeps so much better. But ultimately it's your choice, there's no wrong or right way

Sidecar the cot. Makes life soooo much easier!

I felt exactly the same as you. We left the big cot in the nursery and bought a good travel cot. It was much bigger than side sleeper crib but not as bulk as cot. Did same again for 2nd dd. Both girls were in with us until about 18 months.

DD1 went into her own room at 6.5months and with the exception of a pretty grim 9month regression was absolutely fine.

DD2 is still in our room at 14months and needs a lot more from us at night.

If its working for you and you want to wait a bit, then don't let anyone else convince you otherwise. Equally, if you want to try moving her now, there's nothing wrong with that as well!

Bc the advice is to breastfeed on demand until a year old i didnt bother moving till after that. Moved around 15 months but I was ready for my space back before he was 1! I disliked tiptoeing around my room and I am still breastfeeding my nearly 2 yo mostly just once before bed.

It was about this age with mine that I moved them out into their own rooms starting with naps first then graduating to night times.

We didn’t want a cot in our bedroom or our kids getting too used to sleeping with us as ultimately I was going back to work after a year with each of mine.

Everyone is different but I’m of the opinion that sleeping in a dark room on their own is good for a baby’s development, as long as they know you’ll come if they cry for you in the night. Sleep is important for both of you.

Do what you feel comfortable with. My first went into his own room around 7 months. I knew I was disturbing him at night and so moved him for that reason. I was quite bereft that first night, but he slept a solid 12 hours and I knew I'd done the right thing. With my second, she stayed in my room until 12 months because I didn't feel like we were disturbing her like I did my first. I purchased a space saving crib when she grew out the next to me and it worked well. Maybe you could do that if space is an issue? When my second moved to her room, she transitioned just as well as my first, so I didn't find the extra 5 months she'd spent in our room had a negative impact.

Ours was in his own room after two weeks! He slept brilliantly - as did I. We needed the temperature and brightness of the room at very different levels and sharing a room wasn't working. He is a very happy and well rested 6 year old now.

It’s advice, not a mandate. Baby will be safe either way- do whatever ypu think works best for ypu.

I would be inclined to keep her a bit longer, but either is fine. I do wonder about people who think a 7.5 month old should have "independence" though!

Note to future readers of this post - for the prevention of SIDS, all baby sleep should be in the same room as an adult until the baby is at least six months old. This includes naps and overnight sleep.

You’re not doing anything wrong OP. It’s perfectly normal you want your own room back. My DD ended up sleeping in my bed until she was about 10, then at 12 was sick and needed a blood transfusion and kept feeling like she might faint so she came back to my bed for another year. She is almost 18 now and if she needs a nap in the day (still has ongoing health issues) she still goes in my bed!

Your mum needs to keep her opinions to herself. Are you happy with her living with you? I would find that really difficult personally, especially when opinionated.