To wonder if people still want traditional vows at their wedding?

[EagerCoralRobin]

We’ve all heard the classic “for better or for worse” vows but do people actually still want to say them? Are traditional vows still the most meaningful or is it more about personalising them to reflect today’s values and relationships? AIBU to think that more couples are likely to move away from the old-school vows in favour of something that feels more authentic to their relationship?

Well, we did discuss 'Love, honour and tolerate for as long as is mutually convenient' but the vicar didn't like it.

Mines were him saying ‘you’re always right, no questions asked’. 35 years later still going strong

Went to my niece’s wedding a couple of weeks ago, outside in a beautiful setting with all the traditional vows, though no promise to obey. The only difference/ modern thing was the bride also gave a speech.

To be honest, I can’t even remember what I said. I didn’t think it mattered really.

I wouldn't do the obey one, but apart from that yes traditional vows

We had no vows at all. Got married in the states

They’re not bad vows if you avoid obey. Obey is bloody stupid anyway because even the weirdos who say it are bam bam BAM choosing to say it. So they are choosing to obey, which is still a choice. The only women who really obey are the ones suffering DV and DA.

Is obey still in the marriage vows? We had traditional vows, definitely no obey, to love and to cherish though…

I wanted them but it wasn’t allowed.

Its a Protestant vow and can’t be used in non religious services.

I don’t think we made any vows at all in our quickie civil ceremony. From what I remember we just agreed to marry one another (and both objected mid-ceremony to the form only being interested in our fathers’ occupations).

Personally I like the traditional vows - we had a registry office wedding so no religious overtones and omitted the 'obey'! I would have found it extremely cringy to have written our own vows and said them in front of friends and family - it's just not us.

We did the 2 legal sentences of "I know of no lawful impediment..." and "I call upon these persons here present..."

Did exactly what it said on the tin.

We had traditional vows (not obey though). Why mess with perfection?

I did traditional vows but this was 10 years ago..

Work in the industry. In 15 years no-one has wanted to include 'obey' and tbh if they did I would question why.

In 1000+ ceremonies I'd say it was 60% traditional (or similar) and 40% non-traditional.

Of the 'traditional' about half would be the same sentiments and meter/rhythm as 'for better or worse; in sickness and in health' but in a more modern language e.g. 'in good times and bad; when love is easy and when love is a challenge'. About half still want to say 'to love and to cherish till death us do part'. Half might want 'to love and to cherish forever'.

Of the non-traditional some are very simple, the bare legal minimum, accepting each other in marriage. Some are structured but using oaths and promises that are personal to the couple. Some are entirely crafted by the couple, heartfelt expositions of their love, their feelings, their hopes and desires.

I got married 10 years ago now but vicar was quite strict, i wanted the 1664 vows but asked to take out ‘obey’. He wasn’t having it and said I’d have to have the modern vows then. So that’s what I did.

I'm another that just did the few legal sentences you have to say.
That was cringy enough 😂