Inappropriate dog touching

[LeonardosYoungerModel]

if one more child or adult touches my dog without asking I may scream. Dogs are not toys!!!

Shes very young and a very family friendly breed. I’m socialising her at the moment and doing first walks. I’ve had her breed before and I know that if not properly trained they are a sodding nightmare (bouncy, bitey and big).

It’s a sodding bloody nightmare. Every child, person, stick insect and tosspottingwankweasel going seems intent to not only approach her and touch her, but also encourage her to jump up!!

Half the time they don’t even ask but when they do I’ve said no and they do it anyway!!!!!!! I’ve taught her to ‘place’ between my legs so people have to get level with
my fanny to touch her, and they still do it! Get your head away from my fanny!!!!!!

Why are people so damn thick?! AIBU to think that if it is clear the owner does not want you touching their dog, then you do not touch the bloody dog?! And you definitely do not touch any dog and more importantly do not let your bloody toddler touch a dog without asking but particularly when the owner has said no?! And you don’t bloody put your head near someone’s bloody fanny (thankfully not literally at the moment) to pat their dog who is ignoring you?!

I'm not mad about dogs , I like them but do not coo all over them when I'm out .
My friend however , always goes in for a pat or stroke and ( I had a little smile ) when she went up in a dog when we were in a cafe garden right up to a dog who was with its family and went in for a head stroke , it nipped her on the hand ! It didn't draw blood or anything , just a warning to stay away .
I hope she's learnt her lesson .

I accidentally offended a woman in the park by NOT automatically petting her dog that came sniffing around me and my DS.
She loudly said “come away, they don’t want to touch you” in a really irked tone. I said, “oh, can we?” And we gave him a stroke when she said yes.

Strangely, I haven't found it anywhere near as bad with our current pup as I did with the previous ones.
Same breed, just as big and fluffy. People will stop us to ask what she is, but we haven't had many actually coming over to pet her.
With our previous dogs we'd often get little kids running up to hug them, but it's just not happened at all this time. She's quiet, not barky or grumbly at all, we get told she's beautiful, cute, looks like a polar bear etc, but they're mostly keeping their distance.

I'd imagined it was a general thing - big powerful breeds getting a bad press in the media - MN being a prime example of that. But clearly it isn't that at all. Maybe it's me they find scary...🤔

You're being very precious, it's a dog. Socialise it so it can cope with these situations.

😀. Excellent!!

Very few dog owners have this weird attitude in my experience. I have had dogs for over 25 years and meet 100s of owners. It is really a modern thing to have this level of neurosis about dogs being touched.

In my opinion it's better for dogs to socialise a lot and learn people will randomly touch them and it's out job as owners to not let them think this is weird. Dogs are hyper sensitive to their owners and take lead from them.

If an owner is inwardly annoyed at their dog being touched (and something about fannies that I could be arsed to understand) they will think it ls bad to be touch and become reactive.

We've had rescues like this and had to desensitise them .

As for teaching them to jump. The very quickest way to teach a dog to stop jumping is to teach them jump and then teach them down.

Blimey. I thought the Mumsnet ‘I never answer the door’ crew were eccentric. I have an exceptionally cute dog and he gets tons of attention and strokes when we are out. I thought half the point of having a dog was the cheery chats you have with sociable strangers. I met a brilliant fox terrier yesterday and I fondled his adorable ears while his owner petted my dog.

To me, it's basic parenting to bring up children to know that you don't approach dogs you don't know without asking, same as you don't cross the road without looking both ways and you don't throw your rubbish on the floor. It's basic safety and manners.

Dangerous and rude behaviour will always occur though because not everyone is brought up to know these things, and then they in turn don't bring up their children to know them. It's a shame, OP, but all you can do is be vigilant and physically turn away from these people and have your dog walk away.

Fine to stroke dogs gently if you've asked first and the person in control of the dog has said it's all right.

YANBU
I have the same problem - was worse when she was a puppy, but still happens now.
I've had parents trying to get the lead handle off me so their toddlers can 'walk' the dog and they can get photos for Instagram, multiple people just pick her up, people bend down and call her over, parents encouraging their kids to stroke her without knowing if she's friendly or not... Etc etc.
It's so bizarre.

By getting them to recall consistently. We had one incident when they’d first gone off lead where they jumped at a lady and we ran to put them back on lead. They have never done it again and just aren’t very interested in people bar us. We walk them past and don’t let them investigate people, not that they really care. They’re all about the sniffs.

Just because people can access them! It drives me mad. I hated being on a yard with the field right on a road near a school. You’d get people feeding and arguing when asked not to! I had to go to bust up a crowd of horses trying to get treats (sandwiches/cake/kilos of carrots!) and asked the adults to stop. Just loved being asked why they couldn’t feed. I did explain but got less polite when they got arsey.

This. Were you trying to be funny OP? Because it didn’t work.

Yup, I unfortunately know this very well. It was horrific during Covid. It was seen as ‘entertainment’ to go and feed the ponies.

I had a dad get really aggressive with me that I asked them not to feed the (fat, native, laminitis risk) ponies slices of bread and veg peelings. ‘But my child likes it!!’ I don’t give a monkey’s!! It was the complete sense of entitlement!

My pony is food obsessed and v quickly learnt that groups appearing at the field meant food and would look out for them. I remember poo picking the field one day and suddenly he’s buggered off across the field at warp speed and I was looking round thinking WFT spooked him… no, he’s seen a family appear with carrier bags at the fence. Then the rest of the herd noticed and it’s all about to kick off and they are getting lairy with each other competing over the treats- dangerous for the people and the horses if a fight breaks out.

I do know what you mean OP. We have a lab (thankfully a well adjusted v friendly, and old enough now that she doesn’t get overexcited/jumpy) and so many parents let their toddlers just run up and touch her. I have no problem if people ask. Realistically she is usually delighted if random strangers come and say hello… but obviously they don’t know that if they don’t ask! It could end very badly if they approach the wrong dog.

Very few dog owners have this weird attitude in my experience. I have had dogs for over 25 years and meet 100s of owners. It is really a modern thing to have this level of neurosis about dogs being touched.
In my opinion it's better for dogs to socialise a lot and learn people will randomly touch them and it's out job as owners to not let them think this is weird. Dogs are hyper sensitive to their owners and take lead from them.
If an owner is inwardly annoyed at their dog being touched (and something about fannies that I could be arsed to understand) they will think it ls bad to be touch and become reactive.

Yeah I agree with this, it's a very prissy new thing and indicative of lots of owners who don't know how to raise a dog.

Yes! Parents telling me their children like to feed the horses! I’m like ‘Shall I follow you home and feed your dog endless sausages over the fence or should I give your child pounds of sweets?’ They didn’t get it. One woman even told me it saved us feeding them! I was delighted to move to an out of the way yard, tho did encounter a guy walking his dog through the geldings’ field (no ROW) but he got his comeuppance when the entire herd chased him out and he had to chuck his dog over the fence.

If it’s a golden retriever it never gets better. I think it’s the seductive feather duster action from behind and the smiling face from in front that invites strokes.
It escalates to taking pictures - again nobody asks first.

My beautiful golden retriever, when she was a puppy, used to get this sort of unwanted attention.
Training her to concentrate on me, to not go bounding up to strangers and not to jump up was made much harder by people assuming that they and their children could treat her like some sort of animated cuddly toy.

I found that calling out as they approached “Don’t touch her, I’ve just treated her for a flea infestation “ usually did the trick.

The Dogs Trust have come to the primary school I work in to teach children to never approach a dog without permission from the owner. It’s therefore a recognised problem, not a weird issue.

Dogs are sentient beings, experience many emotions, and this needs to be respected.

You choose to have your dog in a public space so can't very well complain

I’m on the fence here. I wouldn’t want anyone to approach my dog but there is never the opportunity. He is a darling at home with any callers but outside the house barks at anyone and everyone. He’s walked in a private dog field.

But my son’s 6th form had pat dogs/therapy dogs with their own online staff profiles. They were bullet proof and never reacted no matter how inappropriate the contact. What training did those dogs have?

Yep. Mine loves all people and all people seem to love him. I do warn them that he’s still at the jumpy phase but they don’t seem to care. If people want to say hello to my dog then I’m happy to let them, as long as they knkw he might jump up. I keep him on a short lead and make him stop and sit beside me when someone just approaching but he poses so the majority of the time it just makes him even more of an attraction. Luckily there is some interaction with me first and if they don’t want to be judged as someone with no soul by my dog and walk past then that’s fine.

say no, slap their hand away and say "no" as if you were training a dog

Anyone who complains that you touched their child gets the death stare.

What a bizarre attitude. Dogs are not objects, they are living beings. You can't just be touching animals because they're in public, they might not like it and you are taking a stupid risk. It would be a different story if the dog was approaching people seeking attention (which is what OP is trying to train it not to do), but OP has the dog on a lead and it's not bothering anyone.

Even if you consider dogs to be little more than objects, the dog is OP's property, not a community resource. Would you walk up to a stranger in public and start stroking her coat, fiddling with the gears on her bike, picking up her bag? Leave other people's stuff alone.

@IHeartFridays she is a Golden!

I had the same issue with my last one as well. I just can’t believe how many adults think it’s okay for their child to say hi without checking and then smile indulgently. Just because she’s a puppy and a Golden does not make it okay. if anything the fact she’s a puppy makes it worse as a bite is far more likely.

It does happen a lot. I have a small, 'cute' dog that young children seem to think is a toy. I am always vigilant in protecting my dog from inappropriate touching.