To be told about a party/date but no official invite extended?

[tangerinemagic]

Slightly odd. I’m on maternity leave, 9 months in. Someone who I worked closely with is leaving, we had a great relationship, they’re more senior than I am. Only worked together for a year though, and I changed role after 6 months so really worked less closely after that.

We exchanged a couple messages at the start, I then saw him in January at someone’s leaving do, baby was only small so wasn’t a big one.

He messaged to say he’s leaving too now. I asked for a call and we spoke, then at the end I asked when his last day was and he said x and I’m having a leaving on x. That was that. Didn’t say anything about me going so I didn’t say then at the end of the call he said we should keep in touch and all that.

AIBU to be confused?

If he wasn’t including you he didn’t need to mention the leaving party. Is he assuming you will go? Or is it just his department so wouldn’t expect you there.

No idea :/

Should I message you think?

If you WANT to go along, then I'd probably message him something along the lines of 'Is it OK if I pop along to your leaving do John, it would be nice to see you again before you go?' If he intended you to go but just made a hash of actually asking you, then he will of course say yes, and if not, he may say, 'Sorry, I'm afraid it's my department only', or some other excuse. However, if you're not that bothered, then I'd leave it.

does it seem weird he said the date and didn’t say to come? I’d like to go and see him but honestly it might be weird to rock up from maternity leave to a huge group…

Especially if I strong armed my way in. Different if he said why not come along.