Ashamed over life insurance rejection

[Lifelifelife21]

I’m pregnant so that might partly explain why this has hit me so hard.

Since I fell pregnant DP has been nagging me to get life insurance. He got a policy, all super simple and only £8 per month.

Ive spent pretty much ALL DAY today trying to do mine and I’ve failed miserably. Been rejected by 3 separate places so far. I always thought of myself as a healthy person so this has completely blindsided me tbh. I’m a normal weight, never smoked and never drink. I can’t help feel really ashamed that I’m letting DP and the new baby down.

I seem to be getting rejected on various health grounds, which to me seem silly. They’re for things like: had one instance of blurry vision for 1 minute during this pregnancy which the doctors checked out for pre-eclampsia and ruled out, low platelets (only slightly lower than average) and again doctors not concerned, and then mental health issues 20 years ago when I was a teenager.

What do I do now? Should I just give up? Try again in a year’s time? I did speak to a broker for a bit but they were very pushy.. and I felt really uncomfortable going through the medical questions (results of smear tests, mental health issues etc). I feel terrible that I can’t just get a policy and give DP this peace of mind.

I had much the same experience. Maybe it’s getting harder to get these days…

You'd be best going through a broker. Life insurance companies don't like unexplained medical episodes. Some insurers will only ask about mental health in the past 5 or 10 years

It's also worth checking what's on your actual medical records as that's all you need to declare. On my report it only goes back 15 years. You'll have to pay for this but worth doing

Mines 100.00 a month. Eight is unfathomable can you try a broker? Or now you have been refused us that a black mark against you? I'm with AXA and they cover pre-existing illnesses. If that helps.

I'd probably leave it until you've given birth. Pregnancy is a risk to life or something isn't it?

I was covered by L&G despite mental health conditions, although my premium is around £35 per month, but I wasn't pregnant at the time I started the cover. I wonder if that is inflating the cost? It might even be that you might have to accept a higher premium until the end of the pregnancy and then try getting new quotes afterwards?

If you don't like the first broker, go with someone else. They're acting for you so they can lay off with pushy tactics.

Also, if you are in a union at work, they may have an option. It's often underwritten by one of the insurance companies but can be a better deal.

Good luck with the process and the pregnancy.

Totally agree. I did a subject access request and got my full medical records sent to me from birth to now. Really helps when applying for life insurance. I sat and highlighted all the things that were relevant and asked about. Those little visits or calls with a doctor that seem insignificant, or an antibiotic prescribed for something simple in the last 5 years. Easily forgettable incidents. But you go to claim without having declared, and they will find out.

Also, go through a broker. So much easier.

Th unexplained medical things seem to be my main problem tbh. The historic mental health stuff is probably less of an issue. It’s the fact that my health things are so unimportant and inconsequential (a one off minor issue, a slightly out of range blood result) that the doctors really aren’t worried at all, and I have no symptoms anything is actually wrong, so it’s not being investigated in any way.

That seems to mean I’m in a weaker position to get the life insurance than someone who had a more significant diagnosed but managed health condition.

Which feels slightly mad and makes me wonder whether to just try again in a few years.

Weirdly none of the life insurance questionnaires I did seemed bothered about pregnant. No questions about it and they usually said not to include any routine tests / monitoring that had happened as part of a pregnancy.

That sounds like what I need. How did you go about that? How much did it cost?

It's really rubbish that the insurance that could be seen as "discriminating" against men for being worse drivers was "fixed," so women pay more and make it equal, whereas life insurance is allowed to charge more and deny for pregnancy complications - which will only affect women.

There are some companors aimed at women, maybe look at them?

Completely agree. It feels like women will often get the rubbish end of the deal here because we go through so much more monitoring in general (smear tests, pregnancy etc) and are much more likely to go to the doctors for mental health and any physical issues.

I guess the insurance company could argue there was a chance these symptoms / blood results might have nothing to do with the pregnancy 🙄

Echo others’ suggestion to go through a broker. I have policies with L&G and Aviva, both arranged through a broker. It meant only answering the questions once, and they knew which companies were best with my conditions. I’ve just claimed on the critical illness aspect of the policies (breast cancer) but that hasn’t affected my premiums for the life cover. Though I’ll need a new critical illness policy now which will cost a small fortune.

Definitely go through a broker. i’ve got a couple of odd but unconcerning now that they’ve been investigated symptoms, and had the same difficulty as you to get cover.

A broker found me a policy covering most of what I was after at a reasonable cost. Please don’t give up

I had to make a request in writing at the time (this was years ago!) to my GP and it cost around £100. I was worried as I use to pass out randomly in my 20's but didn't have any condition l they thought it was just hormones . I ended up going through a broker who explained I didn't actually need to declare this. Policy was set up and I rang them to check that I didn't need to declare it amd got confirmation in writing that I didn't and my policy was still valid. I'm not sure how GDPR changes the fees for this kind of thing

Oh I got rejected a couple of times and found it really upsetting too! Obese and a history of mental health problems so I get the reasoning in my case but still distressing! I went through Moneysworth in the end, they’re a brokers, and they were so lovely and helpful. Found me a couple of options straight away

Have you ever had to complete a stress awareness course whilst pregnant? If I’d ticked the symptoms I had at the time (that cover both pregnancy & stress), I’d have been classed as highly stressed. Pregnancy symptoms are temporary and you need to consult with the insurance provider to distinguish between the two

Why on earth did you feel the need to mention you had had blurry vision "for a minute"? That is not a medical condition, but the moment you mention it, the insurance has the obligation to add it to your record.

When you answer the insurance questions you are honest and precise, but youfocus on actual medical conditions. You don't mention that you had a passing headache 5 years ago, or that your left knee hurt for 2 days after having a long walk when you were 18, for goodness sake.

Thanks for your kind response…! Much appreciated.

I included it because the phrasing of the question was such that I had to. It was asking about a symptom (vision issue / blurry vision episode) rather than a diagnosis.

And the vision episode is IN my medical records. Very clearly and recently. So if I hadn’t declared it I could have been in trouble had the policy been awarded.

I went to the doctors for it because they were concerned it could be pre-eclampsia.

Ignore the people who tell you not to mention things, unless it isn't on your medical record. If you fail.to declare anything in your medical history it could void the insurance.
I used to work in financial advice and highly recommend you use a broker. They will know which companies do and don't like certain conditions. From what you say there is absolutely no reason you shouldn't get cover and it is SO SO important that you get it. Don't wait a few years as you could die before that (not wanting to be depressing but it happens)
Lifesearch is a reputable broker who I would recommend. They'll help you with the underwriting too.

Agree with the advice to use a broker. However I think the popular policies are becoming far more stringent. I’ve just bought travel insurance and was rejected a lot because I declared a very low risk routine operation in the last 2 years. I’m perfectly healthy and not travelling anywhere unsafe. It did shock me that I’m apparently too high a risk because I was honest so I understand how you’re feeling.

Do you work and if you do what’s your work payout on death in service. DH and I had good payouts on death in service. He was however ‘the cash cow’ as earned more, I turned down promotion as always liked an easier life and did not want to manage people and all their oddities. So if he died the gap was bigger money wise so he had extra life insurance. I have so many odd chronic conditions that my life insurance was just going to be too much so I just didn’t have it. We were asked about extra insurance and the mortgage adviser had a list of health conditions, she asked which ones. I just replied I would have to tick too many and actually joked about how I was far too expensive to insure. I have to pay more for travel insurance.

Please don’t be upset it’s not worth it. I walk around with a heart condition and a weird inherited blood disorder. Heart issue from my Mother and blood from my Father.