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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Are you surprised when someone in a professional role has bad teeth

144 replies

layback · 20/06/2025 16:53

I met with someone in a senior health role today and was quite surprised by how bad their teeth were, a lot of tartar build up on the front teeth which was really noticeable. Their role is well paid so it made me wonder why they've not had their teeth cleaned.

I am not bashing those who can't access a dentist at all or those with weak teeth or poor genetics. My teeth were pretty rotten and I spent around £8000 over several years fixing them, I was really self conscious about them and it impacted day to day life, I couldn't laugh with my mouth open, I was fearful of anyone noticing my bad teeth it was horrid. So, I saved, used credit cards and slowly had the work needed, I don't have turkey looking teeth just average now but what a difference to my self worth.

OP posts:
Yolo12345 · 20/06/2025 16:56

Perhaps they have a phobia of going to the dentist…or perhaps they have issues at home and are not able to do much self-care. Some people genuinely don’t value aesthetics- think stereotypical professor - boffin types, often great intellectuals walk around in shabby clothes…they are on a higher plane than us ordinary folk

gamerchick · 20/06/2025 16:57

It's like dental phobia can reach any human no matter what they do for a living.

meganorks · 20/06/2025 16:58

YABU
You are judging them based on your own opinion of your own teeth. How and what someone spends their money on is none of your business. Private dental work is insanely expensive and not something a lot of people would spend money on.
I can't say I've ever noticed or cared about someone else's teeth. I only think you have because for you it was a big deal.

HatsOffToThePigeons · 20/06/2025 16:58

Nah screw that it's grim. Especially in health care. It makes me think if they don't pay attention to their own personal hygiene, how lax are they with other people's?

tuvamoodyson · 20/06/2025 17:00

meganorks · 20/06/2025 16:58

YABU
You are judging them based on your own opinion of your own teeth. How and what someone spends their money on is none of your business. Private dental work is insanely expensive and not something a lot of people would spend money on.
I can't say I've ever noticed or cared about someone else's teeth. I only think you have because for you it was a big deal.

I don’t think you can HELP but notice someone’s teeth to be honest.

Daisydiary · 20/06/2025 17:00

Yes, as presumably they’re educated enough to understand how dentists and hygiene work. They’re also, one would think, able to afford corrective surgery/Invisalign etc. Whether they want it though is another thing. Personally I think teeth are one of the first things people judge. For that reason I’ve paid for braces for mine that the NHS wouldn’t cover.

layback · 20/06/2025 17:01

This person was in their thirties, they risk losing their teeth if they don't get treatment. Even if it's a phobia, they will know they can access therapy/medication to aid with going to the dentist. Their role is specifically to give advice about health care yet their own teeth need attention

OP posts:
layback · 20/06/2025 17:01

I agree that I'm hyper vigilant about teeth but I always notice others teeth!

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MoreWalking · 20/06/2025 17:03

Some people get a lot of tartar build up on their teeth and some don’t. Maybe they can’t keep up with going to the dentist to get it removed?

I have a couple of friends with this problem whereas I went to the hygienist recently after two years and they said I had no tartar, gave my teeth a polish and I still paid £95. I’m not going again for that price.

Sharptonguedwoman · 20/06/2025 17:04

meganorks · 20/06/2025 16:58

YABU
You are judging them based on your own opinion of your own teeth. How and what someone spends their money on is none of your business. Private dental work is insanely expensive and not something a lot of people would spend money on.
I can't say I've ever noticed or cared about someone else's teeth. I only think you have because for you it was a big deal.

You might not notice but lots of people do. I think it's not unreasonable to expect someone in a health role to be aware of the dangers of poorly cleaned teeth. Also looks grim.

Doingtheboxerbeat · 20/06/2025 17:07

I absolutely despise going to the dentist and haven't been for a decade ages and I also hate paying for pain. But luckily my teeth look great apparently so I'm quite fortunate. Plus I try my best to look after them.

Vitrolinsanity · 20/06/2025 17:08

I’d be a lot more concerned about whether they could perform the life-saving surgery I need.

MinecraftnotMeinCraft · 20/06/2025 17:09

Our hygienist has a 12 month wait for appointments (private appointments, not NHS) which seems pretty average for my area. So this could be part of the issue?

Swirlframe · 20/06/2025 17:10

I don't have turkey looking teeth just average now but what a difference to my self worth.

I think this says much more about your issues than theirs. Perhaps these senior professionals know their worth isn't about their appearance?

I'd notice really bad teeth, mossing or noticing decayed, but not tartar. Fwiw, I had mine done two weeks ago and it's already starting to build up again. No matter how much attention I give dental hygiene some people are just more prone. I go to the hygienist regularly, but they always need it by the time I go.

skymagentatwo · 20/06/2025 17:12

I think it says more about the shallow person making judgements about others to be honest, you have zero clue what is going on in their life.

I could not give a toss how people teeth look as long as they do their job, I hope one day you realise vanity is shallow and certainly does not elevate you about others, quite pathetic really.

Id judge you on your character, may be that £8000 should have gone on correcting that.

doodleschnoodle · 20/06/2025 17:13

I think dental health is one of these things that is first thing to get disrupted when someone is having mental health problems or going through a difficult time. That aspect of self-care often gets neglected, sometimes for a long time. Add in dental phobia and the fact that NHS dentist treatment can be very hard to access and it’s not that surprising I think.

Also some people just have cosmetically poor teeth but they aren’t unhealthy, and it’s not their priority or in their budget to do anything about it.

But I do also think ‘bad teeth’ are perhaps a bit less accepted now, because we are so exposed to cosmetic dentistry. What would have been seen as pretty good teeth (ie on a man in his 70s, still having his own teeth would have been impressive) are now seen as bad teeth because we are now so used to everything being ‘fixable’ even things that are just cosmetically ‘unattractive’.

I saw a post once on an American site asking why King Charles didn’t get his teeth done!

SereneAquaPoet · 20/06/2025 17:15

I'm surprised you're surprised. Unless they were dentists or hygienists I wouldn't be surprised and even then I've met several dentists and hygienists with less than great teeth (aesthetically at least). There are many reasons why someone might neglect their teeth or has less attractive teeth than just money or lack of education. Health care professionals are human, too. There are people in deep debt when their job is in finance or even advising others out of debt. Knowing what to do is one thing and doing it is another.

menopausalfart · 20/06/2025 17:15

My Mil, who's an absolutely lovely woman, honestly, once commented on Stephen Hawking's teeth saying, why doesn't he have his teeth done?
Some people have other things to think about.

Whosenameisthis · 20/06/2025 17:16

Many drugs and treatment protocols can damage teeth.

it’s possible they’ve had a severe illness so no, I wouldn’t judge.

PinotDragon86 · 20/06/2025 17:16

Just because someone is in a professional role, doesn't automatically mean they can afford to spend thousands on their teeth.

layback · 20/06/2025 17:17

dental health that's poor leads to many health issues, this is known by most people especially health professionals! I do judge those in health promoting roles who clearly don't take care of their own health.

if I hadn't spent money on my teeth, I'd have dentures at a premature age! Who wants that!

OP posts:
SereneAquaPoet · 20/06/2025 17:18

layback · 20/06/2025 17:17

dental health that's poor leads to many health issues, this is known by most people especially health professionals! I do judge those in health promoting roles who clearly don't take care of their own health.

if I hadn't spent money on my teeth, I'd have dentures at a premature age! Who wants that!

I'm sure someone else can look at you and judge why you don't do this or that. We all have blind spots so it's best not to be so judgey.

Northerngirl821 · 20/06/2025 17:20

I think judging people based on their appearance is worse than having bad teeth - just as bad as judging people for being overweight. Most people with bad teeth feel self conscious about it just like you did, it’s not a deliberate choice and threads like this just increase the shame.

Even people on high incomes can have financial difficulties, you don’t know what their situation is. Or as others have said, they could have health problems or a dental phobia.

Be grateful that you were in a position to be able to get yours sorted and stop being so judgy.

Swirlframe · 20/06/2025 17:20

layback · 20/06/2025 17:17

dental health that's poor leads to many health issues, this is known by most people especially health professionals! I do judge those in health promoting roles who clearly don't take care of their own health.

if I hadn't spent money on my teeth, I'd have dentures at a premature age! Who wants that!

Yes, but you didn't say you'd spent £8000 to improve your health, you said it had improved your self worth because it's made you look better.

Andoutcomethewolves · 20/06/2025 17:22

I'd be grossed out with the tartar and plaque build up - it's not like it's massively difficult to clean your teeth and hygienists aren't that expensive for a professional to avoid presumably!

My teeth are crowded and crooked and one of the front ones is black due to hitting it falling over as a child and the nerve being dead. I could easily afford braces etc but tbh I'm just not that bothered - it just adds to my charm IMO 🤣. I do however keep them clean!

DH STILL at 40 needs to be reminded by me to clean his teeth and lost a couple before I met him due to his poor oral hygiene 🤢 I have no idea why because he's an intelligent professional!