So angry

[sobloominhot]

I am so bloody angry that the school my eldest child attends is so inferior compared to the local private school where my youngest attends nursery.

I’ve just been to visit the pre-school my youngest attends and it’s like night and day compared to my eldest’s school. Cool, calm and such high expectations of behaviour. All the staff are happy, the kids are engaged and learning so much and any poor behaviour is squashed before it becomes at all disruptive. Similar levels of SEND to the primary school too.

I can’t help but compare to my eldest’s experience at the local primary school where it’s chaotic in comparison, disruptive behaviour the norm, tired teachers and children who don’t want to go into school. It makes me so angry - and I’m sad for my youngest that this will be their new normal. AIBU to be so cross?

No, you're not BU. I don't know the answer, but we should all be able to expect a positive, happy environment for our kids to be educated in.

YANBU.Who are you angry with? The parents? The children? The teachers?

Or the govts of all persuasions that have starved state education of proper funding for decades, landing schools with PFI building unfit to teach in, and wasted untold millions on Academy trusts?

@Meadowfinch definitely the governments who have and continue to squeeze every last ounce of joy out of the school system. A national curriculum that denies children and teachers any fun, excitement or time. Nowhere near enough funding, the list goes on

I have a similar situation and it also fills me with rage. The private school is so lovely: the kids want to learn, the teachers are engaged and the leadership has an ideology guiding them. The kids have fun and are at least two, if not three years ahead of the state school.

The local state is a holding pen for children, bare minimum done, huge class sizes, no support for kids who need it to not be disruptive, the local church helps out so despite it not being a religious school there are weekly Christianity lessons, the leadership is not interested in any improvement or having any ethos. The kids just about get by, fighting in the playground, class teachers who don’t know the students names half way through the school year, bored senseless by overworked and underperforming teachers… it’s so unfair.

Also, ridiculous that the governments solution is to make private school fees more expensive by including VAT. In Europe no one pays for private school because the public schools are good.

Not actually true, there are plenty of private schools in France and Switzerland. In France you can also get government assistance for some element of the fees, because you're saving them money by not using a state-school.

@Franklyfrost really similar situation here. Definitely think good leadership is key - this particular private school is not huge and the VAT changes will be making things very tight, but instead of a negative narrative, you’d never know that they might not be in business in 2 years time

This makes me so sad.
I'm a teacher in a state school. We work our socks off to do the best we can for the children in our care.
We do the best we possibly can with the funding and resources we are given, often making up shortfalls out of our own money.
We work way over the hours we are paid for, so that the children don't miss out.
And it's never good enough.

Do you think it’s not good enough? What is needed to make it better?

My child had a terrible experience in state secondary. Beaten by other kids, no consequences. We bailed and went private. Utterly transformational. The behavioural standards meant everyone learned 100% of the time in lessons. It’s 90% of the difference between state and private. The government need to invest money to remove violent and disruptive kids to alternative provision. This single thing will improve state education (and the jobs of teachers in state) no end.

weighing up whether to retire early or to fund our other two through private two. It’s sort of criminal not if we can at all afford it when the difference is so vast. And the private kids are so much happier and more confident and well rounded. Probably from not being subjected to or witness of constant violence. You shouldn’t have to pay to give your child an education, but these days you do.

I am certain you do your best @birdling Don't feel sad. People like you and my dsis are the backbone of our primary schools. Without your efforts, your consistency and commitment, things would be much worse. And the PTAs that try to help with resources.

My ds is quite bright and loved primary school until Year 5, but then was bored, disengaged, angry, miserable. He said they just kept going over the same stuff. Plus he was bullied because he doesn't like football and wanted to read at lunchtimes.

In year 6 he said he wanted to apply for a scholarship at a school his friend was going for. He won it, which was brilliant except that I'm a single mum and even half fees were still a huge amount of money every year.

We went for it though and the difference has been huge, notably the lack of bullying, violence etc, and the massive jump in his confidence. Incidentally, it may be an independent school but the PTA still fundraises for sports equipment and to ensure everyone can go on trips etc. And he's happy. 10 GCSEs, now half way through 3 stem A'levels, heading for an engineering degree.

I don't mind paying the VAT. (I'll have to raid my pension ) as long as the money goes directly to secondary schools. But it won't, will it !

No school is without issues.
Police are investigating a complaint of peer on peer sexual assault by 2 pupils in Lambrook School. The chair of the Board of Governors has ordered an investigation into how the school handled the incident.

This is why we chose private and very grateful we can. It’s not only about the academics that people seem to think that evens out. It’s about your child’s entire educational experience that shapes them.

The teachers know your child SO well it’s as if they live with you. Calm learning environment, each child’s educational path is almost tailored. Disruptive behaviour is stamped and managed out. No ifs buts and excuses. The well being of children are SO high up the list on priorities. Not to mention that teachers are available to speak to directly. Not to mention the incredible opportunities they are exposed to.

We are spending a fortune on it, and they might just turn out academically the same as from a state school BUT what matters to me is that their daily school experience is one that they love and we know that they are happy because that is what will shape them for the future.

You're right, it's not good enough. That isn't the fault of individual teachers, many of whom are working really hard in difficult environments. I have a lot of respect for teaching as a profession because it's difficult and I believe most teachers do it for love and professional pride. But state education in this country is piss poor in a lot of places, and parents have a right to be angry that a place their children will be spending a huge proportion of their childhoods in is stressful, unengaging and not fit for purpose.

its cost - with enough funding you can employ more staff making class sizes more manageable, more support for chikdren who need it , a nicer environment

sonce no one wants to pay more tax, that’s it

This is so so different from my experience. Round my way the state schools are excellent, the grammar in the top ten in the country, and the private school is seen as the back up choice for the ‘rich but not clever enough for the grammar.’

I’m in my 30th year of teaching English at secondary level. I started in the state sector but doubt I would still be teaching if I hadn’t moved to independent. It’s a tough job in terms of energy and resilience but I’m valued for my experience, have freedom to teach how I choose and have motivated students to teach.

I guess it’s because fee paying schools can very quickly exclude any pupils that are disruptive.

Also those with SEND thrive much better in smaller groups as there is less sensory input (less busy classroom), more individual support, and I would also hazard a guess that the fee paying parents care about their child’s education.
Contrast that with 30 in a class, therefore more noise (sensory overwhelm), less academic support, and some parents who don’t care about their child’s education, school is just somewhere their kids can go for the day. Permanently excluding a child is very rare (in fact has never happened in the school I work in despite assaults on pupils and staff).

To fix the education system (and those of us that work in it have lots of ideas in that!) would cost money that the tax paying public would balk at.